Gourds are Gorgeous and Organic

An Amazing Thing Happened on the Road of Parenting

2012-02-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Since J was a toddler, I've been striving to teach our children to be useful, cheerful helpers around the house. These five and a half years, I've often felt outnumbered and overwhelmed--and sometimes it just seems so much easier to DO IT MYSELF. But wise women have counseled again and again the importance of teaching and training our children to be useful cheerful workers and so we have worked and worked on cleaning our rooms and helping and doing whatever we ask the kids to do. Mr. J can just about clean his room by himself, and Miss A is almost there with me pointing out missed items.

It is neat to see the joy and pride our kids have in doing a job and being helpers, but this past week, an incredible thing happened that REALLY encouraged me and helped me see some light at the end of the tunnel.

All of our Disney laundry was washed and in baskets in the hallway. I gave J and A baskets and told them to grab their own things out of the pile, while I worked on our clothes, O's clothes and towels. They each filled a basket full, then I said, "Okay, now put your clothes away." AND THEY PUT ALL THEIR OWN CLOTHES AWAY!!

This was hugely encouraging as putting away laundry is my bane. Now instead of one person tackling laundry for five, it's one against three and that is WAY easier. I'm so proud of J and A.

Like Mother Like Daughter is a great resource and encouragement in this area. Here is a recent article along those lines. All her practical advice is so helpful! Below is an example:

Auntie Leila, you think children should be miserable?

Well, here's the thing.

Children just do spend a certain amount of time being miserable. You might as well have their misery be about something real. For instance, it's far better for a child to feel a little hungry while he finishes putting the clothes in the dryer or moves the woodpile a foot to the left than to grumble because you forgot to buy him the newest version of his favorite video game. The first problem will result at least in his sense of accomplishing something, followed by a meal that he's more likely to appreciate. The second will result in feeding the lazy, disrespectful beast within. Very few things are worse for a child than feeling justified in a grudge against the world, embodied in his parents.

Rice Cookers--or Trust Grandmama Hanh on This One

2012-01-17T14:38:00.000-08:00

Mr. T's Vietnamese family always has rice--perfectly cooked and hot in the rice cooker sitting on the counter at their house. I grew up in a house where you bring the rice to a boil, cover and steam 20 minutes hoping for the best. When we got married, I learned my oh-so-knowledgable husband that this method was really not satisfactory enough. At the very least, the rice needed to be rinsed in three waters.

Still, my stove top method was lacking. One Christmas we were given a modest, small rice cooker from Target--the ease of cooking with this model wooed me away from the stove top method, but leaving the rice in

the cooker on warm overnight produced a sticky, crusty crust.

When we had Mr. O, my Vietnamese in-laws came to visit and looked aghast at our Target rice cooker.

I'm glad they did, because on the NEXT visit, they brought a Tiger Brand rice cooker along with a TWENTY FIVE pound bag of Jasmine Rice. This was no small, non-descript rice cooker. This is what the people who know use. "Tiger Brand" is a fabulous indicator of the mighty wonders found within.

The rice! It is perfectly fluffy and stays warm for a day or so. This means that if you are doing a crockpot supper that requires rice, you can start the rice cooking right when you start your dinner in the morning and it will stay perfectly perfect all day. This beauty also makes as little as three (we do two) cups or as much as ten, so if you are having Red Beans and Rice for a crowd, you're all set.

We've done all a manner of white rice in this, from sushi to jasmine to basmati, to plain old long grain rice. I've had varying success with brown rice as it requires extra water. (I'm too scatterbrained to record our successes and so every time I guesstimate).

For a fabulous brown rice recipe, I suggest using Alton Brown's recipe.

Another neat trick is to add in diced, cooked chicken, some olive oil, salt, frozen broccoli and sour cream and let the rice steam the broccoli--it's kind of a quick broccoli rice casserole without the cream of mushroom soup.

The Tiger Brand cooker is pricey, I'll admit. However I've found that when I have really great tools in my kitchen I'm more likely to cook-and do so with enjoyment! We rank this appliance up there with the Kitchenaid Mixer and Cuisinart Food Processor. It's just that good.

Survival Guide

2012-01-07T04:59:00.000-08:00

As I write this, my husband has been gone for nine days on a mission trip to Peru. By the grace of God this has been the easiest and most do-able time of separation we've ever had. I am SO thankful for this and wanted to share some things I've been learning and have learned about managing not just myself, but our family and coping during his absence. In no particular order, here are some early morning thoughts. I hope to get it all out before Mr. O demands attention.

1. Penitence.

In years past when T had to travel, particularly to Peru, I complained and groaned and rolled my eyes and generally resented the entire country of Peru (or CCCA, or whatever had called him away). The key phrase to all of this is not "whatever had called him away", but "who had called him away." See, God in his sovereign wisdom was calling my husband to go to Peru (or wherever) and my complaint wasn't so much against Event X, but against God. Conviction hit on so many levels. I was being selfish, self-centered, and dependent on the wrong things. In the week leading up to his departure, the Holy Spirit really convicted me and began changing my heart to embrace Tuan's calling to do this and be a truly (not fake-smiling-teeth-clenched) cheerful helper and supporter of my husband. Not that I've got it "down" by any means!

2. Perspective.

Nine days seems long to me, but I have friends whose husbands are deployed or soon will be. Nine days is NOTHING in the big picture and I have been chastened and motivated to pray mightily for those who are going through such times.

3. Proper Preparation.

I enlisted several folks to pray for me and the kids during his absence, because this is still an incredibly challenging and lengthy time. The prayers of the saints have been felt and manifested in a mighty way. Thank you, friends, who have prayed for all of us! I also prayed for T, for my own heart, and the kids, and made plans. LOTS.OF.PLANS.

4. Planning.

Knowing my weaknesses, I recruited folks to stay with us and also made plans to visit friends during the time. The first day, we had a baby-sitter while I ran errands and that night, we had overnight guests along with pizza and a movie on the living room floor. Then, we traveled to North Mississippi to stay with very dear (and accomodating) friends for several days. Driving alone, it took almost five hours to make a three and a half hour trip (I'm still confused about this), but I reckoned it ate up ten hours of the week!

Over time, I've learned that for us there has to be a balance of order and chaos in T's absence. Being away is good, but the kids really need some order and familiarity. Traveling the first part of the week, then staying at home and having company seemed to work well for us. Choosing wisely where we travel and who we stay with also makes a world of difference in how well our family thrives.

So, we've been BUSY. My own tendencies are to solitude and introspection, but it has actually been good that I'm yearning for some instead of drowning in the solitude. My sweet mother, in-laws and grandmother have all stayed with us and helped at some point this week.

5. Prudence and Play

I'm running out of appropriate "P" words. Basically, we've enjoyed some fun out-of-the-ordinary indulgences this week (cookies, movies, video games, outings, tacos for multiple meals), but are sticking to the routine and housework. Keeping a sense of normalcy for myself in the midst of all the "fun" has been a lifesaver and the house is not quite falling apart. However, today we are cranking up the prudence and getting a LOT of work done so T comes home to a nice and welcoming house.

6. Personal Time

T's parents gave me a day away on Wednesday as I had two meetings in town. It was such a blessing and so restorative! The next time we do this, I plan to at least hire a baby-sitter or two during the week for that purpose.

7. Prayer. It all goes back to throwing one's burdens at the cross and depending on Jesus.

Oh, Sweet Nostalgia . . .

2011-12-10T12:48:00.000-08:00

If you'd like to read a wondrous tale about my hometown at Christmas, I encourage you to click here. It's really (mostly) true and goes down in infamy as one of my favorite Christmas stories of all time.

Christmas is coming so fast and our schedule is clear this week (at least until Friday) and I am so glad. I feel like we've been hurrying and not savoring or delighting and wondering. This will be a good week for being homebodies, for baking and watching movies and hopefully not being so tired during our family advent celebration that requests for "adventus brevitus" are whispered.

I was in my hometown two weeks ago. My sister and her family still live there and it was a treat to take Mr. J and my nephew looking at Christmas lights. So little has changed-at least in the neighborhoods and it felt so much like visiting ghosts of Christmas past. We drove up and down the streets I biked on as a child, revisited familiar landmarks and I was encouraged and delighted to see lights on in the homes of people I still hold dear.

The strangest and perhaps most bittersweet part of our drive, was going past my grandparent's home. They owned a lovely ranch home in a subdivision built mostly by my great-grandfather. The house was the hub of our family's comings and goings. Even extended family from both sides congregated at "Mama Sue and Papaw's" for Thanksgiving, Christmas and every other excuse for a get-together.

When Papaw died young and unexpectedly, we were all broken hearted. Things at the house were never quite the same. Soon after, Mama Sue sold the house and moved down to Florida to be near my folks and my Uncle's family.

The other night, the house was brightly lit with three--count 'em!--three trees blazing with light and decorations. It was full and bright and homey, a beacon of light in a neighborhood that seemed much darker and lonelier and lacking in lights than in years past. As we drove by, an ache hit my heart. It was a longing for what has been, but perhaps more so for what is really to come.

I'll forgo the deep pondering that could burst from this line of thinking. Instead, I can get a bit giddy deep down because next Saturday is our family Christmas with Mama Sue and all the family. Our celebration looks different than years past (for one, my sister and I have grown the family considerably!), but there is this sweet and precious feeling of joy, nostalgia and comfort that comes with being with the whole family for "Blackwell Christmas." There is something about Mama Sue's hugs and smiles, the same food we always eat (cheeseball, tea cakes and fudge, anyone?) and having my aunts and uncles there--who really don't seem much older than me, now, but still make me feel like a kid. I absolutely LOVE this day of the year and Mr. T knows that nothing, no nothing comes before Blackwell Christmas. In this, I am a tyrant.

Crazy Ambition

2011-12-09T06:02:00.000-08:00

I feel like a chicken with its head cut off trying to juggle eggs these days. Since Thanksgiving, and all the projects and fun surrounding it, I cannot get my head on straight! Tuan was out of town (North Carolina) for four days and we were bopping all over the countryside. Our house is a disaster of epic proportions--which MUST be tackled after this blog post--and there is so much left to wrap and do--let's not even mention Christmas baking. Just.May.Not.Happen.

Our Christmas shrubbery (read: free, stumpy cedar, cut from the woods, decorated and on our side table) is decorated and beautiful and we are eating off of the Christmas dishes and for now that is enough.

We are also on a CRAZY drive to save every extra penny and dollar and bit of change we can find, because T and I decided to take our two oldest to Disney World in January. We were supposed to go to North Carolina with T, but as we did the math on what even a frugal trip would cost, we decided that we'd rather put the money towards Disney! So, onward we go--we've given up eating out, Sonic Happy Hour, and grocery store treats. The freezer is being emptied of food and lots of rice, beans and baked goods are coming out of the kitchen. The kids are into it as well, especially Mr. J. Anytime he finds money, he runs for the Disney Jar. He cheerfully reminds me that we are "giving up Chik-Fil-A for Disney". Yes, we are, my child.

It's been convicting how much we can squirrel away by not eating out--very convicting and challenging. When you live so far from everything and everything seems to end and start around meal-times it is hard not to dash through the drive through or just give in to the call of the local Mexican restaurant. It's going to be a sweet reward though.

On Sleep Training

2011-11-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to write about this subject for some time, but quite frankly felt that my emotions were far too engaged at various period for me to peaceably and graciously approach the topic. Just the other day I was calmly pondering the subject--again!--and thought that I was at a pretty rational place where I could write about it. Then, today, I admitted on a social networking site that I--gasp--liked Babywise and one would have thought FB had exploded.

We have chosen a method that is rather controversial and people have NO qualms whatsoever about attacking it. Honestly, as a mom, it makes my blood boil to hear something I appreciate and am grateful for so across-the-board maligned without any room for discussion. That said, I have friends on all sides of the fences (which there are many) and two close friends in particular who are so gracious to me when we differ. I hope and pray that I can be as gracious. That's why I'm writing not so much about what is "wrong" with the other side, or critiquing a method based on anecdotal evidence, but to share what a blessing and benefit sleep-training has been for our family and what a helpful jumping off point it has been for us in all spheres of parenting. Also, as a disclaimer, I have not read any of the Sears, AP or what-have-you books and have no desire to critique or dissect it. I'm only sharing our experiences with sleep training.

Since Babywise is very controversial, let's refer to this topic as sleep training. I don't claim inerrancy Biblically or logically. This is anecdotal.

When we were expecting our first child, Mr. J, we were so blessed to be surrounded by several godly families who were a few steps ahead of us in parenting. As we observed their family lives, the dispositions of their children, the general health and well-being of their marriages, and their daily routines, we asked many questions, particularly about taking care of this forthcoming baby. One of the common denominators was that they sleep-trained (and they ALL breastfed--most until one year). There was also a beautiful underlying order to their homes--not materially, necessarily, but relationally. There was a striving to make God the center of the home, the husband-wife relationship was a high priority and the children were loved and adored, but part of the family, not the center. They moved in the family unit, but the family did not move around them. Even now, I see these families and am so encouraged to see the amazing home lives and incredible, many godly, children they have and are raising.

So, I read Babywise, which was not recommended to me by anyone, but had some very similar ideas and a few other books.

Just to digress a paragraph about nursing: Mr. J was born quite healthy, but delivered "sunny side up" and was not a good nurser. I now wonder if the difficulty of his delivery made nursing hard for him at first. I began pumping at the hospital and went home with an appointment with a lactation specialist. We STRUGGLED with latching on (TMI?) and it was a relief to see the specialist and know that his latching was not correct. I tried to nurse and I pumped in between and by that point (two weeks and two LS visits later), T and I came to the conclusion that if I could pump and feed Mr. J and not cry and resent him every time I tried to nurse that we would all be happier. I pumped around the clock for the first eight weeks of his life. Miss A went into the NICU the day she was born, couldn't be touched the first four days of her life and came home with thrush. When it cleared up, she had neo-natal teeth. Yeah, nursing didn't happen, but again, I pumped for two months, nearly around the clock. With Mr. O, I was determined to nurse and had a horrible hospital experience with the nursery nurse and unhelpful lactation consultants. At that point, I was so used to the pumping 'round the clock thing, and so frustrated with nursing, that we decided to pump again. Nursing is wonderful, just didn't happen for us.

Back to sleep training. The most useful idea that I applied when first home with Mr. J was the concept of a rhythm (schedule implies strict hours and times, which we never did). Sleep. Eat. Play. Sleep. I remember sitting on the couch the night we brought Mr. J home. He had just eaten and I had no idea what to do next. "Eat. sleep. play." Aha. We had about one minute of interaction before he was conking out again. I laid him down and that began our sleep training. No wailing or fussing or whining.

A lot of the critique I hear about sleep training is that the baby will fail to thrive and, at the worst, dehydrate or die of starvation. Looking back at Babywise, I read over and over again, "If your baby is hungry, feed him." I don't think anyone would advise you to not feed your baby if he is hungry. Upon really and truly pondering this debate, I am beginning to see that one (of many) forks in the road is the initial reaction to fussiness, discontent or what-have-you in an infant. Many seem to offer the breast or the bottle immediately, assuming that what must be wrong is hunger. I tended to consider other needs (sleepiness, gas, or overstimulation) first, particularly if we had just had a feeding (say 45 minutes since). Perhaps one philosophy is sleep-oriented as opposed to feeding-oriented?

Why sleep-training? Why place importance on it? I don't think I understood all the "why's" of what I was doing at the time, but in retrospect (three children later), I am seeing a bigger picture unfold.

Laying our baby down to fall asleep was particularly easy in the beginning. Babies sleep and sleep and sleep those first few weeks. It seems you can hardly get even one eye to open for more than a few seconds. Going ahead and laying Mr. J down after a feeding and quick play started laying a foundation that we would build and build upon. Sometimes he would whine a bit and I'd give him a burp or pat, but generally he'd go right down. If, after, say 15, 30 or 45 minutes he began to murmur and fuss, we'd check on him, but did not pick him up immediately. Instead we waited to see if he was truly waking up. Often he went right back to sleep. NEVER in those early weeks and months did our babies scream in the bed for hours. One's mind may be put to rest right now.

Life with children is always dynamic, particularly with babies. One thinks they've got it figured out and then BOOM a huge growth spurt happens and that sweet child eats every hour for a week and then calms down. Nevertheless, we stuck to the Rhythm: Sleep. Eat. Play. Sleep. The intervals sometimes changed, but not the Rhythm.

During the days, our sweet spot was a 2.5-3 hours between feedings. These lasted until well into the eight and nine and ten month ages. I would wake the baby up around the three hour mark during the day--not letting them sleep longer. At night, we eliminated "play" from the Rhythm and immediately after feedings, baby went back to bed.

As the weeks went by the intervals between evening feedings spread and by two months our kids were sleeping all night (meaning from 10-6-ish). That was around the age we moved our second two babies out of our room. (Mr. J slept in our walk-in closet, so we were close quarters with him until fifteen months)

Also as the weeks passed, awake time lengthened and our sweet babies became more active and alert and fun. We still intentionally put them down before or just as they showed signs of fussiness and tiredness. Even if they were awake in their beds for some minutes before going to sleep, we were okay with that. Because they had always fallen asleep on their own, they continued to.

Babies and children are dynamic, rarely static (shouldn't that be a mantra for parenting? Repeat 10x daily). We constantly evaluated and adjusted their quantities of sleep.eat.play.sleep to suit their needs. Eventually three naps gave way to two and night-time sleep stretched from seven-seven. With each month, our babies began to learn to play and be content in their beds and fall asleep on their own. I think this also helped what I think is a frequent cause of fussy children: overstimulation. To think of all that they are learning and experiencing and feeling in this brand new world, what a relief it must be to just chill out--even for a baby!

As our babies grew older, there were times when we let them "cry it out." Particularly when we knew all their needs had been met and they simply did not want to take a nap or be in their pack-n-play. You know the cry that turns on and off based on whether or not they're getting their way? Our family rating system regarding cries was based on the following three levels: 1. Discussing 2. Fussing 3. Cussing (it's a joke, people). We let them cry it out because they were learning a valuable lesson, one that we all struggle with: "I am not the boss."

As Christians, we believe that we are under the authority of God. Not only that, but under the authorities that he has placed over us. Bosses, ruling authorities,elders, spouses, parents . . . our hope is that our children know early on that they are not in charge and that the world (and our family life) does not revolve around them. We also allow our children (and babies) to cry and be sad. Life is hard. Suffering is more to be expected than excepted in the Christian life. We would much rather them know these truths now than one day be walloped upside the head with the realities of life when mom and dad are not there to protect anymore.

This is digressing from sleep-training a bit, but for what it's worth, like many of our parenting examples, we began teaching obedience around eight and nine months of age. Simple things like not rolling over during diaper changes and not throwing food or fighting mom and dad (you know, the stiff-body thing babies do). Temper tantrums were nipped in the bud. (Thanks Barney Fife) The beautiful fruit of that is that even with Miss A at three years old, we struggle less with defiance and more with learning immediate obedience and heart issues. Our children's norm is that Mom and Dad are the boss and obedience is normal and good. I'm thankful for our sweet children and God's grace evidenced in their lives. They are a joy and delight to us.

As I ponder the sweet fruit and blessings we reap daily with our children, I am thankful for wise friends who pointed us in this direction, but mostly for the GRACE of God. Any good fruit, any blessings come not because we are wonderful perfect parents (QUITE the contrary), but because He is.

Wrapping up this absurdly long spiel (is anyone still reading?). I wanted to share the list of "good things" that have come as a result of sleep-training and all it's spheres.

1. Our babies' needs were nearly always met before they became issues. They were fed immediately upon waking, enjoyed awake people time and went down before they were too tired to sleep. I really think that helped them feel safe and secure. (Mr. J would wail like a banshee from the moment he woke up until he was fed, so he may not have enjoyed that security until after his feedings!).

2. Having a normal rhythm and expectation for the days helped us clue in to when something was wrong.

3. We never coaxed our kids to sleep. The whole rock them, tip-toe to the crib, pat them, "stink, they're up", repeat process was never an issue. It was a blessing to enjoy them at their fullest and most awake and be able to let them go to sleep quietly while we tended to other things (children, each other, laundry). Nor did we ever sit up staring at our toddler because it was eleven o'clock and while we were ready for bed, he wasn't. We did have many nights of "dance parties" in the crib and bouncing sessions from a very awake baby, but they were generally content to party alone (Or, rather, J was. Miss A and Mr. O have always had J to party with them).

4. Bedtime is a JOY with our kids. Pajamas are donned, teeth brushed and stories read, giggles exchanged and a song or two sung. A snaggle-toothed Mr. O bounces in his crib enjoying the spectacle. Bedtime is rarely fought, because it has never been an option. Our children may not go to sleep immediately, but they are free to quietly enjoy all that their bed (and books! dolls! cars!) have to offer.

5. That naturally leads to a supreme blessing of sleep-training. Quality time between Mr. T and myself. It has been so incredible to enjoy time together at the end of the day to decompress and talk and be together. Having that time has strengthened our marriage. Our relationships with our children are precious, but our marriage is more so. One day, they'll all be out of the house, but, Lord-willing, we'll still be plugging along. : )

6. Another natural benefit is rest/quiet/nap-time. At this stage of life, Mr. O (our 21-monther) is the only napper. J and A have mandatory quiet time after lunch in their rooms, often together. Since I am with our kiddos all-day, every-day, this time of rest is beneficial for all. They decompress and engage in such imaginative play that leave me puzzled, and I have blessed quiet time to recharge. Because all their lives they've only known that after lunch is room/nap time they never question or fight against it. Giving up naps gradually transitions to play-time in the bed and then to room-time when they are trust-worthy.

I could go on and on. The foundations that were laid in their first years of life with sleep-training and other associated ideas have helped make our parenting years a treasure and truly enjoyable. We really enjoy our children and are SO thankful for them, for God's mercy and grace to us, such sinners!

I don't expect to change minds about this whole debate, but I do ask that one consider the possibility that this method has the potential to be quite good and beneficial to the whole family.

Life

2011-11-08T13:17:00.000-08:00

This amendment is raising lots of questions and thoughts. I have some, too. I don't claim logical inerrancy or to have fully thought things through and I certainly don't expect those with opposing worldviews to agree with me, but here goes.

1. Name calling and labeling will not win ANYONE over to your side.

2. In the same note, attacking the people and not the issue does nothing for you. Additionally, passionate rants about "liberal murders" or "ignorant church-going people" don't advance your viewpoint with the opposite side.

3. Scare tactics are rampant and unfortunately, seem to work.

4. As a Christian, I believe God is the giver of life. He opens and closes the womb. Why pray if he isn't. I believe that NO life is a mistake.

5. As a believer, I HATE abortion. I hate murder and abuse and injustice, too. I daily pray for God to open the eyes of those who perform abortions, abuse the helpless and commit atrocities. My prayer is that if God will not open their eyes and stop their hands, that he would smite them.

6. We stopped using the "pill" because even if there was the REMOTEST chance that it is an abortifacent or causes miscarriages we wanted nothing to do with it. Honestly, if this amendment outlaws some types of "birth control", then so be it.

7. Here's the thing about sex. Yes, it can be great. It can also really mess you up--it is both good and dangerous. However, the thing about sex is it creates babies. God intended sex for the pleasure of one man and one woman and to create babies. Sex generally makes babies. If you do not want to make a baby--as in really, truly consider a baby to be a "parasite", then maybe you should consider not having sex. Or if that is too hard, have your tubes tied, and get a hysterectomy.

8. I don't think that all forms of birth control are bad, but the attitude behind them can be. See, fertility is not a guarantee. How often do we fight, fight, fight conception only to discover infertility? I beg you to consider the attitudes of your heart regarding children. They are a blessing, not a burden (or a "parasite" as I recently saw on FB).

9. It requires self-control to not have sex, to practice abstinence, to wait. It's hard to expect people who have been taught that they are just another type of animal to believe that they can exert the self-control to not act like their fellow animals and go at it.

10. You may have made a mistake, but the child concieved is not. I know so many people (and have a LOT of family members) who were unexpected and unplanned. I thank God that they chose life.

11. I pray that we one day look on this time of legal abortion in our country with the same disbelief as we do when we consider racism, genocide, the holocaust and other atrocities.

12. I realize that the issue of rape is so, so touchy--and HARD. However, consider that the child conceived is still one half yours. It is challenging to think beyond the horrible circumstances and think that God can do amazing things with a pregnancy caused by rape, BUT HE CAN. God exists beyond time and space and his ways are unfathomable.

13. Do I want the government to excessively regulate what I can and cannot do? Not particularly. Am I okay with the government banning the sale of something that is an abortifacent and outlawing all abortion? Yes.

14. We who are pro-life, need to expand our reach beyond protecting unborn children. We need to labor to help the helpless, the abused, the orphaned and widowed.

15. Don't be misled. Despite what the billboard on Woodrow Wilson says, the personhood amendment does not guarantee protection for chicken eggs. Only human life.

Pretty Happy Funny Real

2011-10-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

This is a fun link-up. I like how they subtitle it,

"capturing the context of contentment in everyday life."

{Pretty}

Fall mums, Pittosporum and Wandering Jew.

{Happy}

This amazing plant is Perilla and when you wrap a few Perilla leaves around a Vietnamese eggroll, your tastebuds will rejoice and you will be happy.

{Funny}

Johnny accidentally hit the accelerator and the Gator took off as I snapped the picture. We were both surprised.

{Real}

I was not joking about the laundry situation.

It is dire and real. : )

Visit Like Mother, Like Daughter for more PHFR.

The Million Dollar Question

2011-10-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I don't pretend to write earth-shakingly important things on this blog or aspire to reach Piperian depths of meaning, nor do I adequately chronicle the comings and goings of my family (as do SO many of my friends with their precious scrapbook-blogs--which is a brilliant idea I should try).

I blog and write because sometimes words, thoughts and ideas simply need to come out and land somewhere. Sometimes I shouldn't say things and sometimes I should say more . . . today is one of those days I just want to write.

This year we committed to attending Wednesday night church. With sicknesses and comings and goings and T's job, we seem to be on an "every-other-week" pace right now. We decided to do this because being involved in the body requires more than Sunday morning attendance--at least for us. I'm so glad we made this commitment! It is great for J to participate in children's choir and for A to have more time with the three's. We also enjoy our discipleship group and studying King's Cross with them. The indescribable benefit of dinnertime fellowship is also sweet.

I must be honest though.

By the time I get to discipleship group at 6:30, my brain is shot. Fried. I feel more like a bump on a log during the discussion than a meaningful contributor.

I have the joy of leading a small group on Wednesday mornings for our MOMS Bible study. It is exhilarating, encouraging and I LOVE going every week, but leading the discussion requires a lot of mental gymnastics and that plus getting up early, wrangling three kiddos to church (and preparing all their stuff), getting them home, fed and down for rest time is draining.

We accomplish nothing on Wednesday besides church. Homeschool does not happen; laundry does not happen. Church and driving happen. : )

Also, naps happen. Well, naps happen until my children who have no concept of the sanctity of naps pop into the room and wake me up with a request for me to help button their pants. Then, I'm awake, but groggy, with no hope of returning to the land of nod and stumbling around the kitchen eating 72% dark chocolate and tidying up while I wait for the coffee to brew and all the while feeling like I need to blog about something instead of tackling household projects and getting us ready for Church.

So this is the Million dollar question--literally. What would you do if you came into a significant amount of money? How would you spend it and how different would your life change? What do your choices say about who you really are? Would a sudden increase in funds change you very much?

T and I have talked about this lately. A friend of his Father recently won 11 Million in the Louisiana Lottery. Shazam!

Okay, here's what I would do--

1. Tithe to the church.

2. Invest half in a safe, interest bearing account and the other half in a more aggressive mutual fund.

Using the interest (I have no idea how much my supposed windfall is, just so ya know):

3. Eventually upgrade my van to a 2004 with three seats in the middle. I'm VERY content with our used cars, but I really wish our van had three seats across the middle.

4. Hire someone to do our laundry. I don't mind cleaning, but if the laundry could be magically done and put away, I think I'd be satisfied.

5. Have a regular baby-sitter for a regular date night.

6. Buy all organic foods

7. Travel. Instead of owning a place on the beach, I'd much rather take all kinds of trips to different places. We'd stay in hotels and I would go to spas. I love spas.

8. Buy art!

9. Frye Boots

10. Give lavishly and generously to people and causes.

I've been analyzing these things lately because I've wondered what these things say about me and what is important to me. In the midst of this, I've been in a blessed place of DEEP contentment with my calling and vocation as a wife, mom, teacher and camp wife. I really and truly LOVE where God has placed me and what I'm doing. In the past I've experienced contentment, but not on this level. So, I'm thankful and grateful without the windfall, but it sure is fun to think about!

What would you do? How would you answer the million dollar question?

Christmas in October

2011-10-21T08:57:00.001-07:00

I have Christmas music playing in October and I have no shame whatsoever. While this is the first time I've played music, I was belting out some tunes with the kids the other night. They are the only peeps who get to"enjoy" the gloooo---o-o-o-o-rias that I love to sing. : )

I remember when the giddy, magic-y feeling of Christmas began to diminish and how I struggled for so long to catch it again. Having children helps so much, but I've learned that when the weather turns and I get that little inkling of the giddy, magical feeling, to embrace it no matter the month.

So Pandora is playing Chanticleer and Sleigh Ride Radio and the Cambridge Singers channel today and I'm beginning to make mental lists of goals and, yes, thinking about Jesus : ) .

Durn Give Out

2011-10-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

Truly, I am durn give out. My head is full, body: exhausted. Heart: glad. Luggage: still packed. Housework: dented. Laundry: heh, change the subject.

I had the amazing and blessed opportunity to attend the Women in the Church International Conference. This year's theme was: Amazing Grace 360.

Amazing is right.

I remember my mom going to a huge WIC conference in the early nineties with our pastor's wife and another woman in the church. They had a wonderful time and I had sort of filed it away in my head that if the opportunity ever came to attend one, I would jump on it.

I'm so glad I did!

I signed up in May, not quite sure who I'd room with or ride with or hang out with--talk about blind enthusiasm! God knew the details and he PERFECTLY provided room mates and traveling companions and a group of women with whom to fellowship.

I rode to Atlanta with two wonderful women (who homeschool and are "real" and love the Lord!). I don't think the conversation ever dulled the whole seven hours. Not a magazine or book was cracked. : )

One of the riding companions roomed with one of my dearest friends and me. All three of us homeschool, are crazy about our husbands, adore our children, love the Lord and are in/married to ministry in various ways. We laughed, shared, and wore ourselves out.

Several girls who are "staff wives" of our church were in our group--it was such a privilege to get to know them apart from a quick hello in the halls.

I haven't even mentioned the seminars, the worship, the renewing of long-ago friendships, the teaching, the MUSIC! (and shopping and food, although not nearly as important). I hope to share more in the coming days, as I came home inspired and renewed (and with a long list!).

Oh, and I did have this strange expectation that was totally not real. My mind-picture of PCA women as a whole is VERY nineties: helmet hair, oversized pastel pink sweaters, denim jumpers and Keds. I am pleased to report the PCA has kept up with the times. :)

This is Noble, Sir . . .

2011-09-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

15 virtual points awarded to whomever guesses the source of the title, plus an additional 10 points if I have the quote completely wrong and 5 if I should have used "whoever." : )

I don't have much time for graphic design these days. That's fine and dandy, but I occasionally enjoy a chance to pull out the sketch pad, stretch my fingers, brain and eyes, and re-friend Adobe Illustrator.

What better cause for diving back into design than the Center for Pregnancy Choices?

Y'all this is a wonderful organization and it was an honor to do all the design work for their annual fundraising event.

The poster is below and if you are not busy on October 20, why not hop on over to Broadmoor Baptist and support a worthy cause? Tickets are on sale at Lifeway and online.

Trauma at the Zoo.

2011-09-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

We have been crazy busy and wonderfully so and blogging has fallen by the wayside. I've had lots to talk about and it rattles around in my head like a jar full of marbles.

J started his Kindergarten enrichment program two weeks ago and he LOVES it. Being a male and a five year old, we don't get much information out of him. There are occasional spurts where we learn very enlightening things like:

"I went to four rooms", or "My teacher is fun" and "A soft answer turns away wrath."

Yogurt must also be a big deal in the K class, because that was a request after week 1.

Needless to say the drive there and back and all that entails involves a huge part of our Fridays. The bonus is that I have precious, precious time with Miss A and Mr. O. I took them to sewing time at the church last week, then we had lunch and went to the zoo. Miss A got to go and sew with the "big girls" and ate it up. After an hour and a half, she was begging for some nursery time, but she did really well.

I'm always reminded what a neat place our Zoo is. It DOES need updating and some renovations, but there are some real gems, too. The chimpanzees had me utterly captivated. Miss A had to make me move on to other exhibits and we had our first public breakdown: over the elephant slide, or should I say its absence.

Places that are designed to attract children should post prominent signs at the entrances when they do away with a popular attraction:

"DO NOT PROMISE YOUR 3 YEAR OLD THAT SHE CAN PLAY ON THE ELEPHANT SLIDE BECAUSE IT IS G-O-N-E!"

Likewise, I, as a mother need to learn not to promise my child we will do or see something that can possibly die, be given away or taken down even though it stood there SINCE I WAS A CHILD.

"Yes, dear one, we will see the giraffes today providing they have not died since we last saw them. Do you understand that if the giraffes are all dead we cannot see them? Good."

When we discovered the slide was broken and Miss A broke down, I quickly realized that she was not throwing a tantrum, but was really and truly grieving over the loss. She loved the elephant slide, it had always been there and now was gone. My poor girl was heart broken. Instead of rebuke for crying she got a lot of affection and empathy from me.

In Bible study small group we had talked about teaching our children about trials and how even if it seems inconsequential to us, it is big to them and it matters. Even at this young age, I do not want to shield my children from all trials and tribulations, but rather walk with them and help them to endure, teach them to call out to Jesus and trust that God does and allows things to happen for his glory and our good.

I would much rather trials and tribulations be a normal thing (reasonably) for them rather than something that hits them upside the head when they leave the house at eighteen or so.

I also want to be sympathetic and attentive to what they are going through and not dismissive when something is truly going on. My prayer is that now we are laying the groundwork for them to know that Mom and Dad are a safe and secure place to talk to about burdens and fears and difficulties (where they are pointed to Christ!) so that as they grow and burdens become bigger and more scary they are not reluctant to come to us (and always be pointed to Jesus) and learn run to Him on their own.

Hmmm. Makes the newborn days seem pretty easy. : )

The Wonderful School

2011-08-31T13:16:00.001-07:00

What our days look like . . . sort of . . . .

I always enjoy peeking into other people's days. Seeing how folks live their lives and order their homes is always so interesting to me! Since we have ventured into our second year of homeschooling, the photo above is pretty much what our day looks like! I wear frilly blouses from Anthropologie and play the piano while our children dance and sing. : ) Not quite.

The reality. The dining/school room central.

Although I always wanted to homeschool, I never dreamed how much I would enjoy these days . Truly, I wake up most days ecstatic about jumping into the day's work. Tuan and I are avid readers, so teaching J to read is so exciting and rewarding. At this time, all of the veteran homeschooling mamas are snickering and saying, "just wait until November, Paula, then you'll be saying otherwise." Probably so--but I insist on enjoying it now.

Working on handwriting.

My goals for J this year in Kindergarten are learning to read, improving our writing, grasping some basic number concepts, hiding God's word in our heart, learning to work independently and saturating this kid's brain with good stories, poems and songs. I suppose in some moments, we do resemble The Wonderful School--especially when we are singing and dancing about.

Our curriculum storage module. Doesn't that sound so "educatorly"?

I have set goals for myself: consistency, discipline with reading aloud, outdoor time, and developing good habits with housework so we don't live in too much of a messy nest. Even though school takes over the dining room table, it all disappears when we wrap up. After a busy morning, looking at a serene and empty table and dining room is calming.

Continuing with educatorly terminology.... our lockers!

I am thankful for these vast cabinets--they are so useful for storing schoolbooks and all the trappings we've already accumulated. As scatterbrained as I am, having a place for everything helps tremendously. It's good for the kids to know that things have a place.

I always want to see how folks organize--don't you?

All the manipulatives, bulky things, infrequently used items and books go in these cabinets. The aforementioned curriculum storage module goes in these cabinets when we clean up. I love being able to pull that basket out and have everything all together.

The miscellaneous drawer.

Crayons, pens, and crafty things that the kids have freedom to use all store in this drawer in our buffet. The pink paint is a source of contention in our marriage, but Tuan loves me enough to bear with the "spicy paprika".

Proof that all is not miserable . . .

For reading and writing curriculum, we chose Sing Spell Read and Write. I picked it because my Mom still had her SSRW set from the days she taught my sister--all I had to buy were the workbooks. I know, such deliberation went into choosing this. Johnny loves this program and is doing very well with it! We skipped the preschool/kindergarten component and started with the First Grade books. We did book one fall of last year and slowly worked through part of the next book during the spring. We are still plugging along and it is so exciting seeing him learn these concepts! In about two school days we will tackle our first reader and I can hardly contain myself!

He is his daddy's child--Mr. J loves numbers.

Mr. J may be doing well with the language arts, but I have a feeling he is going to be much more like Tuan and be a math nerd--ahem, brainiac! He lights up with joy when number and math books are introduced. We did deliberate for days and weeks on end about which math program to use. You would have thought we were choosing colleges--it was that stressful, but in the end, we decided to go with Saxon. (Rather, Tuan mandated I get it over with and PICK A PROGRAM!) Because Saxon K is attached to a calendar system that indicates starting in September, we will begin math tomorrow! In the meantime, we worked through a preschool math workbook.

Penmanship--he already writes more legibly than his parents!

In addition to these two programs, we are going through a critical thinking/puzzle book and reading aloud stories, poems and songs from the Core Knowledge Series and vintage Childcraft books. I'm a real art and design junky, so the illustrations in those books just fill up my art bucket.

Poor, lonely unsocialized child.

In thinking through this year there were a few gaps I wasn't quite sure about. Reading The Well Trained Mind has helped with those doubts, and confirmed our decision to stick with the three R's this year. Additionally, we discovered a wonderful local, classical homeschooling program that meets on Fridays for enrichment. I almost cried when I read the curriculum for the program because it truly meets the concerns I had with our plan for the year. Mr. J will go most of Friday with a small class of other homeschooling kindergarteners and I'll have some time with Miss A and baby O--who is not such a baby, anymore!

Fleamarket Treasure

2011-08-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

As a child I spent many happy days at my Granny's house. I credit her for many good things in my life. She read aloud countless times poems and stories from her vintage Childcraft books, let me plunder her "treasures" from her and Papa's time in the Air Force, and many nights set up the slide projector so we could view images from my mother's childhood.

We pored over World Book encyclopedias (the full color picture of Queen Elizabeth's coronation portrait was my favorite!), she showed me her stamps, took me for walks in the woods and stopped the car by cow pastures so I could say hello to the cows.

Because of her, I know all about our geneaology, how to crochet and quilt, how to save, thrift, and give generously. I could go on and on about my wonderful Granny, but I think the one thing that set her apart was that she took time for me (and everyone). With my Granny there was no tyranny of the urgent, she never communicated by words or actions that anything else was more important than being with me. No matter when I dropped by or what I asked for, she was present and helpful. I hope I can communicate and live that way with my children and grandchildren.

When Granny passed away a few years ago, I was fortunate to inherit many "treasures" from her house: the Childcraft books, the everyday flatware pattern we shared, and various bric-a-brac.

One thing I always wanted, but didn't ask for (I mean, I had pretty much begged for every emotional piece there was by then) was her sewing box. Granny's sewing box was such a delight of order and wonder and mustard yellow seventies plastic! Mom has it now and her grandchildren enjoy their turn to plunder, but I confess my delight at finding the very same sewing box at a local flea market. Not quite very same--it's a lovely shade of blue--robin's egg meets turquoise--and confess I like it even more in this color!

The box--it has a funny texture all over it.

Oh, the wonder and delight of proper places for things. This is a vast improvement over a drawer with everything dumped in all higgeldy piggely.

The little pincushion family . . . wouldn't they make for a great children's story? They look like they are about to have tea or tuck in for the night.

Vacation Photos

2011-08-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

I remember attending an RUF girls Bible study taught by a very wise woman who advised us that there were just some days out of the month where it was okay to let things go, to give yourself grace and plan for those days. With baby O and Miss A having had the stomach bug this week (three sheet changes for one child alone last night!) and myself feeling a bit achy, this is a perfect day to follow her advice . . . so between the endless loads of laundry and general must-dos and sporadic pick-ups, I am indulging in one of those days!

The big kids are in and out making mudpies and O is sleeping. Miss A may or may not be wearing day clothes. I may or may not have taken advantage of the fact thatTangled is on Netflix this morning. (I have a Netflix and I'm not afraid to use it!)

In the peace and quiet, it seemed like a good time to post pictures!

My Aunt and Uncle have a really great "cabin" on the Choctawhatchee Bay (between Sandestin and Seaside). They are so generous and kind to let us use it and after our post-camp stomach flu awfulness, we were grateful to get away for some rest and relaxation. The porch is one of our favorite places.

The kids already know how to lounge:

with food, of course.

All that's missing is a great book!

I love these little legs and feet!

Lazy days on the bay are perfect for making sea shell mudpies.

Miss A was quite creative!

Gumbo? I dunno . . .

T and the kids built some fun sand spires.

The beach wasn't as atmospheric as

the photo suggests!

Rest for the Weary

2011-07-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

My husband is such a servant-leader-wonderful man. I am so thankful for him. He cared for the kids so I could get a Sunday nap today and I cannot thank him enough. A nap was in high order. We have had a wild and crazy two weeks post-camp.

I write to remember.

When camp ended, we were a bit tired, but by no means dragging. Mostly, we were motivated and glad to get back into something resembling daily life and the consumption of vegetables . . . . we were also excited about the following week of "special season". That is when we host other large groups and keep some of our staff on to run activities like the pool, waterfront, horseback, ropes course, etc . . . We LOVE special season because (in years past, at least), every night we open our house to staff for movies, games, visiting, eating and fun. It's a great time to get to know the staff better and decompress from camp. One year we had three weeks of special season--yes, that added up to around eighteen game nights in a row--mercy!

Tuan planned to take some off time the week after special season to rest and tackle projects and do some fun family things, but on Monday morning of special season I woke up feeling very, very wrong. Bada-boom-bada bing, it was the stomach flu. There was no way that Tuan could stay home to help, as three hundred high schoolers were coming in and he had five thousand things to co-ordinate--except that he got hit with the stomach flu only hours later and promptly came home.

It was more "flu" than stomach--aches, pains, chillls, fatigue--so terribly awful. Thankfully only one child got it and somehow we survived. Our poor kids ate crackers and juice along with us on Monday because it's rather hard to feed one's children when the sight of food makes one sick. : (

By Wednesday, we were somewhat recovered and felt the contagion was gone, so the staff came over to a highly lysol-ed house for a raucous game night. Thursday night we partied again and Friday night the last remnant of hosts ate dinner with us and we watched Lord of the Rings. By that point, we had said our good-byes to most everyone and camp was so empty and quiet. The staff this year was a particularly wonderful group and we were so, so sad to see them go!

Saturday morning left us tired and weary and the prospect of a week at home full of projects was no longer appealing. We had planned to vacation sometime in the fall, but so many things fell into place that we realized a get-away was in high order.

Tuan's parents came and spent Saturday afternoon and night with us and we celebrated Nana's birthday with cake and country cooking, mingled with packing and cleaning and preparing.

Sunday after church, we headed south to the beach! My aunt and uncle have a "cabin" on the Choctawhatchee bay and are so kind and generous to let us use it. We spent the week there, came back on Friday, had houseguests arrive Saturday lunch---Our friends the Fortiers , Mrs. Les (my other mother), her son Josh and his wife, Ceci and Ceci's brother Antonio. Such dear, fun, wonderful people. We talked, explored camp, cooked, ate, played games and laughed until we cried. They joined us for church today and lunch after and then we said bittersweet goodbyes.

And as soon as we returned home, I collapsed and slept until six thirty. I think I could have slept straight through the night. This week, we are going to try to remember what normal looks like--ha! Any camp wife (past or present) can laugh along with me at that.

I'm glad to be home and so full of thankfulness. Our God is so good!

Baby Steps

2011-06-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

We have been trying for some time to eat a more nutritious diet and are taking baby steps to reach that end. With many of our meals eaten in the dining hall (yes, full of chemical drenched foods . .. .yeesh) and others eaten out due to our 30 minute commute to . . . nearly anything . . . .it makes sense to try to eat as healthy as possible around the house.

When I first read Nourishing Traditions, I was motivated, excited, encouraged and OVERWHELMED . . . . so much to do and so little time, not to mention the sporadic seasons of life where we hardly cook at home at all (read: now). Also, I don't have the luxury of farmers markets (although we do have fruitstands!) and I am rather reluctant to make twelve stops at twelve different places with three children to get in and out of carseats. We decided to take baby-steps (a little is better than nothing, right?) and slowly move towards more nourishing eating.

The thing I love about Nourishing Traditions is the underlying, unspoken message that God knew what he was doing in giving us food and that whole foods are best and frankly, you don't have to branch out super far to get adequate nutrition. (The Alaskans who live on meat alone, for example) Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE junk food --I wish I didn't, but I do. However, I'm trying to make better choices and give my kids a healthier, wiser palette than I have!

Here are some of our "baby steps":

1. Whole, organic milk, but in smaller quantities. My kids drink milk once a day, Owen twice. Sometimes we do coconut or almond, but Owen does not not take that.

2. Butter! We are not in a place where we eat "centrifuged butter from milked cows grazing on rapidly growing spring and fall grass", but we do eat the "real" stuff.

3. Good fats: Coconut, Peanut, Olive Oils . . . and real Lard. : ) Not all expeller pressed and perfect, but better than others, I suppose

4. Whole Wheat flour when we do bake (not as often)

5. Corn instead of flour tortillas

6. Local honey for our coffee and other applications.

7. Less white sugar in everything. I've been baking a lot with palm sugar.

8. White rice on "special occasions." (as a side note, Alton Brown's brown rice recipe is marvelous--especially if you've had unsatisfactory results before)

9. No more juice in the house. I realized that my kids only wanted juice and were

rejecting water. Even though it was diluted, it was a lot of sugar. When I stopped buying it an amazing thing happened: water consumption rose like all get out! Now they ask for water. : )

10. Oatmeal and Eggs are our breakfast staples. No cereals at all.

11. Better eggs--still not sure if the more expensive grocery eggs are truly better, but I'm buying into it. My goal is to find local eggs and I saw a possible source at the fruitstand the other day.

12. Home-cooked beans instead of canned.

13. We found a butcher in Crystal Springs who sells pork bellies, so we've made several batches of our very own bacon--free of nitrites (natural or otherwise). We're planning another round soon since our fridge is empty for camp.

14. A grass-fed beef cow--we bought a share with some friends (and a deep freeze-haha).

That's what we've done, and there is so much more I want to try! Over-all, we've reduced our wheat and carbohydrate consumption in general which has been so good for us. Our next goals are:

1. Aluminum free baking powder

2. Soaked, sourdough breads

3. Local eggs

4. Organic Chickens

5. A hog?

6. A modest garden, since organic produce is costly.

7. More organic produce.

8. Experimenting with grains like Quinoa, spelt and others and soaking.

9. Composting

10. Better eating out choices, both nutritionally and in the way companies are run (if this means more Five Guys and Chik-fil-A, I'll go for it)

11. Less candy in the house and in our mouths (I guess the fact that we are still eating Christmas parade candy should make me feel better?)

What are your goals?

Life, Lately

2011-06-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

Camp life is a merry-go-round---not the sedate up-and-down animal kind of merry-go-round of zoos and carnivals, but the kind that one used to find at parks, where you held on for dear life as you were spun at unbelievably fast speeds. Exhilarating? Yes. Dizzying? Certainly. Impossible to stop or get off of? Without a doubt.

We are holding on for dear life, having a blast, and yes, just a bit dizzy.

I thought of writing a "day-in-the-life-of-a-camp-wife" sort of post, but every day is a bit different. This is the third summer since I "retired" from camping and I am finally figuring out how to combine normal daily living with camp life and what my role is as Tuan's wife and a mother and sister-in-Christ to the staff. Apparently I'm a slow learner, as I cannot figure out what I was doing those other two summers--haha. I am so thankful for the Lord's patience and perseverance in working on me.

This has been an amazing summer for our kids. Mr. J LOVES the staff and was a camper for the first time during day camp. It was such great fun watching him and hearing the stories the staff had to tell. He is now old enough to roam and run a bit free (within certain boundaries, of course). I LOVE that. His perspective on camp life is always interesting, too.

Miss A is lapping up the attention that the staff give her. She knows how to get things from them, too. I frequently find her with bandaids that have been absconded from the nurses and watches that she has wrangled from the staff. Miss A is bold and unafraid to ask for anything. The staff are so, so sweet and kind to her. The other day she told me, "the boy campers are mean to me, the girl campers like me, but the counselors LOVE me." Yes, they do.

Mr. O--my sweet boy. He is super independent, hard-headed and strong-willed. He threw a fit in the dining hall because his plate was on the table and he wanted to throw it on the ground. Nothing would do but to cast that plate from the table and the outrage at his will being thwarted was a sight to behold. Mama did win the battle, though. Mr. O also, decided to start walking at the pavilion during the first week. His independent personality is evident in the fearless way he will toddle through the throng of campers with not an ounce of hesitation. Sometimes, he'll crawl headfirst through the crowd, pausing to look up and observe them with his little paci bouncing up and down. I love the reaction of campers as they realize a baby is crawling through their midst . It's like a wave of realization--"there's a baby here! What do we do?!" The staff love Mr. O, but he is very particular about who he loves back and will not go to just anyone. He alternatively turns away at unwanted affection or dives into the arms of those who have his favor. (they are a select bunch, for sure!) I hope as an adult this translate into not having a fear of man and being able to do the right thing regardless of human opinion.

And, Mr. T., my sweet husband. I love this man. It is amazing to me how God gave me just the right man and created me just right for him. One of the things I love is my husband's servant-leadership. He works right beside the staff to do whatever needs to be done. He also lays down his life for me and the kids over and over again--making time to help with bedtime at night and sacrificing his desire to meet our needs. I am thankful for him!

And our staff! They are amazing. I watched two of the female counselors welcome their campers at the dining hall the other night. They were genuinely delighted to see their girls and the hugs and exclamations of affections and "how was your activity?" were just a small example of the joy this staff is bringing to the campers, parents and full-time staff. They are a joy to know, and I appreciate their faithful service (and kindness to my children, too).

I intended to write about something else entirely, but am thankful this is what came out. We are so thankful that God has put us here.

2011-06-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

I always enter summer expecting to accomplish one hundred and one projects, but expectations rarely meet reality! I have managed to tackle a few projects and have had a wee bit of time to go thrifting. I stumbled across this lamp at the Gateway thrift store in Magee--I was smitten at first sight and Tuan (who thinks my art and lighting choices dubious at best) lovingly permitted the purchase. : )

At two dollars, it was quite a steal, but I fear that finding a great lampshade to go with it may be another story. Until then, this lampshade that I paid ten cents for (!) will do just fine.

$2.10 beauty

This mirror came out of my parents barn. The ugly finish looks so much better with a coat of Oxford blue. The photo is horrid, but it's rather pretty and the medallion pattern on top is the same as our green living room drapes! Unfortunately the thing is so stinking heavy it must either lean on a piece of furniture, a ledge or be hung with such precision and care via a stud that eludes me. (Read: Tuan is needed, not thumbtacks) Stud. Heh. There's a double meaning in that. : )

Awaiting a home. Maybe our stairwell?

Warfare

2011-05-30T06:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, goodness. Overnight One begins and the second hardest Monday of the year commences! What is the first hardest? Staff training, of course!

At this time of year all sorts of forces: camp, busyness, heat, satan's attacks and MY SIN all collide into this swarming whirlwind of potential calamity. Take note that I capitalized MY SIN, because the first responsibility, the first instigator of the trouble is really me.

This is my 21st summer of camping, I served eight summers on staff here, eleven total of staffing and this is is my 3rd as a straight-up camp wife and Mommy. The Caedmon's Call lyric from "Thankful" rings true, still!

I ran across an old box of letters

While I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill

You Know I had to laugh that the same old struggles

That plagued me then are plaguing me still

I know the road is long from the ground to glory

But a boy can hope he's getting some place

The same old struggles, indeed! One would think that after all this time, I'd have gotten somewhere in this. Deep internal sins like pride, selfishness, resentment, jealousy, comparison and even envy pop up. Maybe the circumstances change slightly, but the roots don't. In my heart of hearts, I want the glory and the focus and my comfort and it's all ME, ME, ME. Having an attitude of humility like Jesus, living for God's glory, being a helper for my husband (instead of expecting him to accommodate me) and focusing on my three sweet campers, can easily fly out the window.

It was also easy to lose perspective. Ultimately, this was one or two weeks of challenges out of a whole year of blessings. Once camp gets going and we are in a routine, it is WONDERFUL. Tuan's job and the amazing privilege of living here and sharing in the camp experience are something I thank God for almost every day. I am amazed that we get to serve God and his kingdom in this way.

Last summer was especially hard and I failed to fight the good fight early on. As the year went by, I kept on thinking about my sins during this time and how ashamed I was at the attitudes, words and actions that came out of my heart.

I wanted this year to be different.

My sweet Bible study small group was enlisted for prayer back in February and I have been praying and thinking and talking with Tuan about my struggles. He didn't need to change or accommodate me, but having my sweet husband know and understand more ahead of time was important. A dear "Older Sister" was praying. I also planned for strategic baby-sitting, so it would be possible to participate in some of the fun things and good speakers happening.

The week leading up to staff training was lots of fun as it always is. We have a small group of early staff and take turns feeding them and getting to know them, but the entire time I could see the storm on the horizon. It was coming! (or, as Homily said with a shudder in The Borrowers: "Winter!")

By the grace of God this was a much, much better "No. 1 Monday". It was a day of struggles for sure, and it seemed that the harder I fought to not wallow in sin, the more temptations flew at me. I am thankful that in God's grace, I was more able put Tuan's needs and interests above my own, focus on the kids and at the end of the day we were able to have some unexpected fun with the staff.

In college, I had this quote from Jonathan Edwards on my dorm room wall:

"Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken, my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be."

I had become comfortable with my sins and forgotten how vile they really are, I had forgotten to look to Jesus (It was MY sin that put him there) and be motivated by his amazing love to fight the good fight.

Today (No. 2 Monday), is only beginning. I'm sure it will be full of challenges and lovely temptations to wallow. By His grace, I will fight. Today, like every day, I covet your prayers!

5,345 Reasons to Homeschool Part I

2011-05-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

This could take many posts to cover. I weekly have the "no we aren't doing preschool or kindergarten, but we've started homeschooling" conversation. I usually try to sum up all our reasons and just cannot encapsulate them into a few neat sentences. So hear come many paragraphs in no particular order on the subject!

I've spoken of not sharing my real opinions about things with folks in a past post and I'm about to share some real opinions, here. Some of the best advice I ever heard was from a lady in our church who said that just because something is a good choice for some families, it may not be the best choice for YOUR family and you and your husband need to prayerfully make choices apart from what others are doing. (paraphrased : ) ). Some of these things I feel strongly about, but I recognize that EVERY family is different. In sharing my opinions, I'm not judging others for their different choices and reasons!

1. I love my husband, my kids love their daddy and we like to be together as a family. Tuan has one of the coolest jobs in the world. It is a perfect job for him, but it has crazy hours, and seasons of normalcy. Sometimes we see lots of Tuan, sometimes we don't--especially when school is out: Spring break and all summer from May through August and MANY weekends he works long hours. In fact, he can easily work 35 hours from Friday through Sunday morning alone, meaning our "weekend" is often Sunday/Monday. With normal school attendance, we would not have much quality family time, let alone a family vacation!

2. Tuan occasionally travels for work and we like to go with him. If he is taking a course in NC or TX, by all means we are going! Those trips always occur in the bleak winter or lovely fall. Have you ever swum in an indoor pool with a blizzard outside the picture window? It's marvelous! (I digressed)

3. Our school choices are limited. We are in a rural school district and the nearest public school is 17 miles (24 minutes) away. Private schools are even further and our budget is not one amenable to private schooling. : ) Nor do I have an desire to drive to and fro twice a day (1 1/2 hours of driving a day! Minimum!), nor am I putting my babies on a school bus in the wee hours of the morning--with who knows what going on. Amen. I know there are the possibilities of carpool, but we carpooled 1-3 grade, 30 miles round trip and as a child I hated it. Loved the people; hated the carpool. : )

4. I'm a loosey-goosey free spirit. I admit it. I LOVE the freedom homeschooling offers. Whether it means taking a day to read, dropping everything for a field trip, having night school one day of the week, or working on an art project for four hours straight, I am all about it. Honestly, the idea of being forced to stick to a school calendar and getting kids to school at the same time every day with no flexibility makes me need fresh air. It's like caging a wild animal. Seriously.

5. I'm a believer in sleep and lots of it for children and babies. I LOVE the fact that I rarely have to wake the kids up in the morning. They can sleep as much as their little bodies need to. Of course as they get older that will change, but in these "growing years" sleep is important.

6. I know many schools are different, but making my little boy sit still and quiet in a desk for hours when he was created for motion and filled with God-given energy and enthusiasm and conversation bothers me. Don't think I'm an advocate for loosey-goosey parenting. I'm all about discipline, correction and training, but boys need to be boys.

Whew. Only six out of the 5, 345 reasons. More to come!

Opinions of a Peace Faker

2011-05-09T07:58:00.000-07:00

The more that folks mention that they read my blog, the less I actually say--as in actual opinions. I'm a "peace-faker" at heart. Even though I have VERY strong opinions about things, I often hesitate to share them for fear of rocking the boat, or insulting people. Today, however, I am going to share this observation, because it kind of tickles me.

The thought of the day is the Bible and the "gifting" of Bibles. I am drowning in Bibles and realize that this is such a blessing and freedom that many believers don't enjoy. What I cannot understand is why Bibles are so often gifted to people in recognition of milestones or achievement.

I had a Bible as a child, then I made a profession of faith and joined the church and was given a Bible, then I was interested in a more of a study Bible, so my parents bought me a Bible I really wanted. Then, I graduated from high school and my church gave me another Bible (were they trying to tell me something?), then I was given a copy of the Reformation Study Bible (which I really wanted), and someone else gave me a slimline purse copy of the KJV. By the time I was twenty, I had six Bibles to my name and only two which were truly used with frequency.

I see the purpose of having a study Bible and access to multiple translations, but just gifting and handing them out for every milestone seems redundant. At least ask if the person needs one or would prefer a commentary or concordance!

At the hospital, the Gideons always come by with a NT/Psalms/Prov for our newborns, which is soon supplanted by the one our church gives every baby born (a sweet, thoughtful gesture--I am NOT complaining!), meaning that at birth, our kids are already in possession of two partial Bibles.

Did I mention that someone gave me a gift bag when Miss A was born containing a Bible--for me!

Is someone trying to tell me something?

My favorite instance is when someone memorizes the Westminster Confession of Faith or the Shorter/Longer Catechism--and is given a Bible. You would think a person who had tackled that would be in possession of Scripture already---just recently a Seminary student at church successfully memorized one of the above and was given a copy of the Bible. I felt like the unspoken message was, "wow, Son, you've really impressed us with your interested in the summary of Reformed doctrine, now how about you take a look at where it all came from? You'll need this in Seminary. " Now, I know that wasn't really what was being communicated, but it did tickle me.

This, dear readers, is an honest and surely flawed opinion from a recovering Peace Faker--clearly suffering from First World issues.

Two Recipes of Note

2011-04-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

This is from Marie Claire Maison and I could just eat it up! I would have loved this bed as a kid. Maybe Tuan will be just as inspired!

The past few days, I've had the chance to do some "fun" cooking and wanted to share these recipes (and remember where they are online!)

For breakfast the other day, I made Kendra's oatmeal scones which are part of her double-duty slowcooker oatmeal recipe. I've waited months to have enough leftover oatmeal to try this recipe, but my hungry monkeys seem to inhale all the oat meal no matter how much I cook.
This is a stellar recipe. It might trump any other baked good I've made. (Tuan disagrees, he likes my focaccia--this is so much easier). The scones are super easy and not too sweet. I used white flour and regular rolled oats which were all we had and added some extra craisins to the top. Please, make this recipe!

Sunday evening, Tuan and Mr. J caught an assortment of bass and bream that Tuan fried up. (I asked J what kind of fish he caught: "A bass pro shop!" he informed me.). We needed hushpuppies and this recipe from Allrecipes fit the bill! The dough was very dry and needed a little bit of milk, but the dry, pasty balls fried up beautifully (and they do swell up thanks to the generous amount of baking soda). We decreased the sugar a bit. It makes a ridiculous amount, so halving the recipe would be wise.

Enjoy!

Bits and Pieces of Life

2011-04-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bloggers writes lengthy wonderful posts interspersed with photos of her life that don't always match the subject matter. I appreciate this and it inspired me to do the same. I always intend to use lots of photos, but I'd really just prefer to write. Tonight, however, I decided to follow her example, photo-wise, and blog about all the random bric-a-brac swirling in my head and around me.

1. Dark Chocolate. I cannot go back to milk chocolate. Oh, my. I bought a Ghirardelli 70% cacao bar and it lasted well over a week. It is so intensely satisfying and takes so little to meet the innate female need for chocolate. I tried some peanut MMs the other day and they did not taste of chocolate at all! Last night, I purchased an 80% bar--getting into the hard stuff, for sure!

Why, yes, we let our three year old drive us around camp all the time--don't you?

2. Two generous families donated their used playgrounds to the camp and we were very fortunate to have them end up in our backyard. We now have a mini-park behind our duplex and I am so, so thankful for the close access to fun that our kids enjoy!

This kid is cute. Just sayin' is all.

3. We've been working on our yard since we moved over here about a year and a half ago. Tuan has gone above and beyond to resolve drainage issues (installed a french drain himself--the man is amazing!) and get a grassy side yard planted. We are really enjoying the outdoor space and have set up a hammock, chairs and glider seat under our carport. The kids love it when we leave the van in the driveway and they can ride in circles under the carport. Mr. O likes to watch their activities and is now old enough to explore the carport and yard. So fun!

We "dress" for play-time. Tutus are mandatory.

4. I have struggled so much with being a good housekeeper. It is hard for me to keep things neat, but I do love a neat and tidy house and am seeing personal progress in this area as well as progress with the kids. The oldest are such good helpers and can do so much. Tonight, Mr. J commandeered the dustpan, straightened the dining room chairs and put the toys away for me after supper. I am thankful for my helpers. Hopefully they will be blessings to their spouses one day!

Poor Mr. O is often overwhelmed with sibling affection.

5. I love worshipping at our church! Dr. D frequently comments that he dislikes being away from our congregation on Sunday mornings. I feel the same way. I really do not like to miss a Sunday at our church home.

This is what I feel like doing every day around 1:30.

6. God is blessing me with a real season of contentment and appreciate for all that I have. I am also really thinking a lot about my (and my culture's) demand for stuff and the best stuff, no less! When is enough, enough? Why must the newest, best, brightest, highest quality be the only thing that will do? Why do children need high quality clothes when they only wear them for a few months or a season anyway? Tell me Anne, I want to know!

We love our Kay-Kay!

7. In the same light, I've been sewing and discovered that first, sewing geometric prints makes life so easy (drapes) and that sewing snaps and hook/eyes is the bane of my existence and I may never get these pillows finished!

Nana and Pawpaw are pretty wonderful, too!

8. Five Guys has recently rocked my world. Oh, what a wonderful, affordable date place!

One of the foremost duties of older siblings is teaching
the younger children how to open presents--quickly!

9. There is a marvelous, wonderful pastor's conference going on this week. It is significant on so many levels--this was the first group Tuan served when he came on staff full-time, we always know lots of the pastors, there is so much testosterone at camp right now that I may not enter the gates of camp until the conference is over, and amazing, encouraging worship and fellowship (emphasis: fellows) is taking place for the glory of God and advancement of His kingdom!

Disney with my sweetie--I want to go to there!

10. This week is the marker of the beginning of T's busy, busy season that won't let up until late August/perhaps Labor Day. I'm about to have lots of solo evenings to plan, read, write and tackle projects. I'm already praying for grace, because while this can be a profitable and blessed time, it can be a time of real sinfulness on my part--I like having my husband around (and his generous help with the kids).

In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus!

New Recipe!

2011-03-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

I threw this dish together last night and it was so, so good. I have no idea what to call it or how to describe it.

The filling was leftover smoked chicken thighs, sausage, a bit of okra, onion, celery, garlic, bell pepper, ro-tel ("tomatoes with chiles", for you Owens out there) and cream cheese, all cooked down in the cast iron skillet, then topped with a fabulous cornbread mix and baked. The moisture from the filling gives the cornbread a nice moistness. It's a little bit cajun, a little bit like cornbread "dressing".

This is a great way to use up all the leftover bits of this and that one has inhabiting the fridge and freezer. Southern living would advise you to serve it with a green salad to make a meal, but alas all we had were apples, so that's what we ate. I think it lends itself to variations (crawfish instead of chicken, for example). Hope this inspires you to make your own version!

(the cornbread recipe is courtesy of Southern Sideboards)
Ingredients:
for the cornbread topping:
1/2 c. butter
1 c. milk+1 tbsp lemon juice or vinegar
1 cup self-rising cornmeal, or, (regular cornmeal+1 tsp baking soda and 3/4 tsp salt)
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 egg, beaten
thinly sliced or grated cheddar cheese (less than 1/2 cup)

For the filling:
1 1/2 Tbsp of Fat (oil, lard, butter)
1/4 large white or yellow onion, small dice
3 small stalks of celery, small dice
2 cloves, garlic, chopped
1/2 cup bell pepper, chopped
1/2-1 cup okra, sliced
1/2 pound of sausage, quartered and sliced
2-3 chicken thighs, de-boned and chopped
1 can ro-tel
1/2 block cream cheese, sliced

Preheat oven to 350

In a skillet over med-hi heat, warm the oil and add the onions and celery, season with salt. I chop as I cook, so while that is cooking, work on the next items, adding to the skillet as you go. Make sure the sausage is nicely cooked and add the ro-tel, plus one more dash of salt. Turn the stove to med-low and let the filling simmer. (hold off on the cream cheese for now)

While the filling is simmering, make the cornmeal topping. Pour 1 cup of milk into a cup, add 1 tsp vinegar or lemon juice and set aside. Melt 1 stick of butter (or 1/2 cup lard--which I did not use--this time. ahem). In a bowl, stir the cornmeal, baking powder, salt and whole wheat flour together. Beat the egg into the milk and add to the dry mixture. Stir, set aside.

Turn off the burner on the filling, and top the filling with slices of cream cheese. Pour the melted butter into the cornbread mixture and stir. It will seem like a lot of butter, but keep stirring. Spoon the cornbread mixture over the filling keeping it somewhat even. Pop into the oven and bake for 25-30 minutes, checking for doneness around 25 minutes. When you check it for doneness, sprinkle the top with Tony's and a bit of salt and the cheddar cheese. Return to the oven until the cornbread is "done" and the cheese is melted.

Oh goodness, I am swooning just thinking about this recipe and the possibilities! Crawfish! Black eyed peas! Nothing but okra! (okay, I love okra too much)

Hope you enjoy!

How We Met Part Nine--More Declarative Statements

2011-03-13T17:20:00.000-07:00

In the days of my youth, when I was full of crazy ideals and expectations, I would have quickly informed anyone that I would not kiss anyone until I was married, I would definitely not declare my love to anyone FIRST, nor would I have done what I am about to share with you all.

Isn't it lovely how God humbles us and teaches us that perhaps we didn't have it as right and all-together as we thought we did?

Over four years, God had constantly opened and shut doors, weaving my life in a way I never expected and finally, I was in a most unexpected place: Hattiesburg, Mississippi; going to school at USM and head over heels for a boy I never would have chosen for myself.

And, yet, in Fall of 2001, there he was. And at that point, Tuan met nearly every criteria on my high school "list".

Am I the only girl who made such a list in high school?

I think the only "qualifications" he didn't meet were: playing the guitar (bass and trumpet instead--acceptable), being taller than me (exactly the same height--mere superficials) and being a "Twin Lakes Guy" (still, he was a "camp" guy--Twin Lakes was to come).

The truly essential qualities, though, he met to a "T": loving the Lord, treating his Mama well, being Reformed, putting the toilet seat down (thanks, Mrs D!) and so on and so forth.

In about a three week span, several things were happening. I had confessed my love to Tuan (blush, run, hide), I had had a heart-to-heart with my dear friend Josh Fortier, who had prayed for me in the Wal-mart parking lot, and I was seeking counsel from my campus minister, Clint Wilcke.

I was one of Clint's first RUF'ers and I'm sure I was keeping him busy with my questions. One day, as I was going over the whole "Tuan situation" with him, Clint said,

"Paula, the problem is, you are making it too easy for Tuan to not make a decision. When he comes around, you are there. You need to draw the line in the sand and cut him off, so he has to make a decision."

Yikes. Crazy. Campus ministers love to provoke and say hard things. They also like to strongly encourage people to marry, but that is for another post.

Spurred on by Clint's encouragement, I realized that he was right and I needed to follow his advice. Did I mention that I was terrified?

The weekend of October 13th, Tuan came home to Columbia for the weekend and we made plans to hang out that Saturday. We spent the morning with Troy and another friend, then I left them to go to a shower for one of our RUF girls.

I was as nervous as can be. I was literally sick, because of what I needed to do and was so not sure of how to do it!

Unbeknownst to me, Josh Fortier, in his big-brother way, had sent an e-mail to Tuan laying it all out. Tuan says it was a "if you don't realize it, Paula likes you--here's your sign" kind of letter. I so wish I had a copy of that e-mail, but it is gone. Anyway, Tuan checked his e-mail while he and Troy were hanging out and read it very quickly before anyone saw what it was.

Tuan has been known to dwell in the land of oblivion at times and he says that despite my declaration of love at the bonfire, things had not altogether clicked. It wasn't until he read Josh's email that afternoon that he became more aware of what was going on deep down within himself.

Tuan says he went from a "I could be in a relationship with Paula" kind of place, to a "I should be in a relationship with Paula" kind of place.

So, all these things were coming together, much like the end of _The_Gods_Must_be_Crazy_, where the guerillas, the bushman, the scientist and the school teacher all collide in one glorious plot explosion.

That night, we hung out with Troy and another friend and watched _You've_Got_Mail_. I don't know if I paid much attention to the movie as I was still sick and nervous about it all. When the movie ended and everyone got up to leave, I asked Tuan to stay behind. It was late--somewhere around midnight and we went back into my apartment and sat on the couch facing each other. My roommate, Jeanine, was back in her room, oblivious to the significant and important event occurring in our our living room.

What happened went something like this:

"Um, er . . . " I stumbled, "I um, well, you need to make up your mind what you're going to do, because I'm tired of hanging on a limb."

That was not quite what I intended to say and every time I've shared with with my single friends, I encourage them NOT to do things the way I did. But God in his providence worked things out that way for us, and Tuan, having already been awakened by Josh's email, quickly decided what we were going to do.

"Okay, then, we are going to do this"

That's what he said, more or less.

We spent the next hour or more hashing things out. Each of us had a few concerns or reservations and we spent some time talking about those things. My roommate be-bopped into the living room at one point, realized the seriousness of the situation, then fled. A few minutes later, she walked into the room again, loudly announcing that she needed the radio and some ice cream and grabbing those essentials, returned quickly to the safety of her room.

Saturday turned into early Sunday morning and we reached compromise about our concerns and differences. Tuan may be laid back, but when the rubber meets the road, he is decisive and sure. At the end of our conversation, we were in a committed relationship that was definitely heading towards marriage.

Towards marriage, as in, we were practically engaged.

Tuan is a very intentional guy.

I walked him to the door, where Tuan kissed my hand, said good night and I watched him walk to the Jeep. It was a warm fall night and the air was slightly humid, making the streetlights a bit blurry and atmospheric.

"Wait!" I called out. He stood on the Jeep's running board and said, "what?"

"What are we going to say?" I asked.

I was asking what we were calling this new relationship: dating? going out? courting? betrothed?

"I LOVE YOU!" he called out.

"No, no, I mean, I love you, too but what are we?"

And that, my friends, is how Tuan and I met and started dating.

How We Met Part Eight-declarative statements

2011-03-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Oh, goodness, we are so close to the resolution. Obviously, we are now married and have three children, but still the question remains: just HOW did we get together?

I'm not going to begin with the impression that this is the last post. I just don't have time tonight, but we are getting very, very close--as in one more post after this!

I stopped Part Seven around August of 2001. I had become increasingly convicted about my own obsessions with Tuan and had basically thrown it out to the Lord and was waiting to see what He would do.

I was trying to focus on school and RUF and work. Tuan and I were still e-mailing and talking, but I was definitely in a different kind of place. There was more of a trusting in the Lord happening within me and less of a constant wondering and wondering and thinking going on. I was at a place where he really and truly could have begun to date someone else and I would have been okay.

It is funny how things work out. When I let go and truly gave it all over to God, things began to happen. I also cut my hair off.

It was short.

I had gone on a silly lark that spring and had my long, thick hair permed into a body wave because my roommate had the coolest, thickest curliest hair imaginable and I wanted to experience life as a curly girl. It took hours to roll my hair into hundreds of rods and set it. Not to mention the expense! The ridiculous splurge on a 6.00/hr salary of 75.00 to put in a body wave!

Curly girls do have more fun.

When the humidity is all right and ideal.

I had a LOT of fun with a head full of curly hair. But as time went on it grew out and I hit the awkward stage where the top was straight and the bottom curly. My roommate and I tried to straighten it, but it only resulted in straight top and wavy-bottomed hair. If I took the time to roll it or blow dry with a round brush it was lovely.

But I never took the time.

When camp came, I trimmed it, but still had this awkward straight/wavy mess. On the first day of the week and the last, I hot rolled my hair for the sake of camper parents and the rest of the week, the humidity took its toll and looked AWFUL!

The week the summer staff stayed with us, one of the girls I had worked with, Hilary, had gotten this cute post-camp cut which inspired me to go shorter.

My cut wasn't so cute.

When I got back to Hattiesburg, I found a girl--Tameka-- who knew what she was doing and she fixed my hair, but by then it was super, duper short.

I need to find a picture.

Oh dear, I did digress! The whole point of this was that all my college years I had very long hair. As in down my back long and it got lots of compliments. Boys would say, "oh, don't cut your hair!" and then they would start dating girls with short hair.

I was amused and discouraged by the hair hypocrisy surrounding me.

That is why I was even further amused that when my hair reached phenomenally short lengths things started happening to me in the romantic realms.

Not to imply a Sampson connection.

So, the hair was very short and I was at a place of walking with God and trusting in him.

Tuan was e-mailing and every now and then would say something very sweet, but I was much cooler and relaxed about it.

One week in late September, we made weekend plans. Tuan was coming home and invited me to come out and visit that Saturday evening. Somehow we decided a bonfire was in order for the evening and I made plans to come out after I worked the ropes course at Twin Lakes.

When I got to Tuan's house, he was not there, having run to town with his Dad for groceries. Sonny, Mrs. Dorothy and I decided to play a little prank and hid my car behind the house. When he got back they told him I'd called and couldn't come out because I was too tired, blah, blah, blah. I feel bad for doing that now as Tuan had spent the whole day chopping wood for the bonfire, but it was fun in the moment. Long story short, I surprised him and we had a lovely bonfire with his family, who all eventually drifted off to bed, leaving us out there under the stars. We talked a while and then it was time for me to leave.

Tuan walked me to my car and gave me the usual side-arm friend hug.

But this time it lasted a little bit longer than usual.

I sighed and effortlessly, out of my mouth came the words,

"I love you, Tuan . . . "

Oh stink! What had I done?!?!

I got out of there as fast as I could.

How We Met Part Seven! Kicking the Can.

2011-02-26T19:44:00.000-08:00

This is the part of our story where chronology is getting confusing. I've taken you, my sweet readers, through four long years and five summers and now we are getting into the details, the minutia of how we met and got together. Of course, all the details, while seeming trivial were all in the grand scheme of God's planning and workings.

Looking back, we both laugh at how blind we were to obvious truths. "Were we really dating all that time and we just didn't know it?" "How did you not know I liked you?" "Everyone else did?" Honestly, I was so in the dark about how Tuan felt about me and I had been waffling myself up to the end of that summer, so in my mind it was perfectly rational that the guy who had written me multi-page missives all summer, could truly be taking me to meet his "future wife. " Also, I had been the "friend-girl" to so many guys that had been very good buddies and then paired up with other girls, that again, it made sense to me.

I didn't know what to expect when the door opened. Would I like these new friends? Was Tuan really in love with one of them? I was so confused! However, when the door opened and I was greeted with big warm friendly smiles and huge hugs and exclamations of "we are so glad to meet you!" I didn't care one bit if he married any of the sweet Ridgehaven girls. I liked them immediately! We had a bitter sweet evening of fellowship--grieving with Josh and at the same time listening to the Ridgehaven crew reminiscence about their summer (camp sub-cultures are so cool).

It was early August--the time when you're moving back to school, but things haven't really started up yet and there's lots of free time to be had. I'm sure we hung out a little bit, but one of the episodes that stands out in my mind is when Tuan asked me to go down to Baton Rouge with him. He was moving back into his apartment and invited me to come, stay the night and go to church with some of our campers from Harvest. "You can stay with my friend ______, she lives in our complex and you'll like her, she's a great girl.

I was thinking, okay, now we're getting somewhere! We'll get to hang out, maybe have some good conversation--you don't just invite any old friend to do something like this. There's gotta be something going on!

Instead, I left Baton Rouge on Sunday afternoon even more confused than I was before and quite ready to wipe my hands of the whole situation.

I followed Tuan down to Baton Rouge and we were not at his apartment but perhaps three minutes before there was a knock at the door. It was his neighbor, who we shall call "Lucy".

It quickly became very clear to me that there would not be a moment alone with Tuan the entire weekend as "lucy" was on the prowl and bound and determined to take Tuan for herself. I am not exaggerating, people. It was wild. Where Tuan went, there goeth she. I was bewildered and amazed. Was something going on between them? Had I misplaced my paranoia on the Ridgehaven girls all to find that he had a girlfriend in Baton Rouge?

I stayed in her apartment that night and it was quite chilly. Just when I thought that things could not get even weirder, we headed to the parking lot intending to go to church the next morning. We'd decided to take my car and since I was totally lost in Baton Rouge, I handed the keys to Tuan so he could drive. She immediately hopped into the front seat of my car.

The front seat.

Of MY car!

You are thinking to yourself: "oh no she didn't!" and I am telling you, "oh, yes, she did!"

There is a line that you do not cross in the game--nay, war--of love and that was the line. I sat in the backseat of MY car (did I mention I was in the backseat of MY car?) and there sat in stunned, amused bewilderment and I thought to myself, "If she really wants Tuan that badly, I am not getting in the way."

I went back to Hattiesburg that afternoon, I was confused, and perplexed. What in the world was going on with this? One night soon after, I went to eat at McAllister's with Josh, Troy, Leigh, Anna and some friends from church. Leigh, Anna and I went to the bathroom together (as girls do) and we were rehashing the same conversation we'd probably had many times before, but this time there was new information as Troy and Josh had been loose-lipped. "Paula!" Anna said, "Josh and Troy said that Tuan talked about you all summer and he definitely likes you!" "Really? AUGH!!!" I said jubilantly and somehow jumped up in the air and simultaneously kicked the garbage can across the girls bathroom. It was loud. I was so mortified (and all at once grinning and sheepish). We came out of the bathroom painfully aware that the entire restaurant had heard our ruckus.

But, O, take that, Lucy!

Lest my readers think that all I did in those days was gallivant between fun destinations and socialize (like the Jane Austen characters I so longed to be), I actually did go to school, worked everyday, spent hours upon hours on projects (I was studying art/graphic design) and was involved with RUF. With school starting I was getting to know our brand new campus minister, Clint Wilcke and staying busy. I was also becoming convicted.

It became clear that I was getting very consumed with Tuan--whether it was the idea of a relationship, wondering about it all, or just being rather head-over-heels for the boy himself. It wasn't a good thing and I'm thankful God helped me to see what was going on deep down. I realized that I could not keep on obsessing and thinking and daydreaming. I needed to be focused on the Lord and living the life he had called me to live right then and there.

I prayed about it and just kind of said, "God, I'm sending Tuan to you and if this works out, so be it, but I cannot cling to this." It sounds so abstract, and I'm going to make it more so by saying that I put the whole idea and the hopes and dreams of a relationship with Tuan in a bottle, corked it and threw it out to sea. If God wanted this to happen, it would.

It was time to wait a little longer.

How We Met Part Six--the long awaited account

2011-02-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am just tickled at the response our story is generating. The sweet comments and notes have made this very, very fun.

Two things fueled the speed of the first five posts. First, Tuan was out of town all last week which left me with long and winding and empty evenings to write my heart out. Second, our laptop was working which was the equivalent of writing with the perfect pen. Our laptop screen bit the dust this week--alas--and I am now hacking away on this keyboard that is so difficult to type on my arms are aching. But, the story must go on.

It was spring of 2001 and my heart was leaning towards this sweet, cute guy who was a very, very good friend. God had opened the doors wide open for me to go and work at my beloved Twin Lakes and Tuan had realized that Christian camping was more his calling than computer engineering. (Go figure!)

He was applying to work at Ridgehaven along with several of my good guy friends from church and stumbled in the application process when it asked if he agreed with the Westminster Confession of Faith.

Oh, how cool is God's providence! Here I was, liking Tuan but still doctrinally different enough that I could not entertain the possibility of him as a future spouse, when along comes this question and the door is opened.

"So, what is the Westminter Confession of Faith?" he asked.

I talked a bit about it, but he (in his wonderful Tuan-ish way) had already printed it out from the internet and was planning to read the entire thing before his interview.

I realize many of you are familiar with the WCF, so I am not going to delve further into the details of it, but you can find a copy online if your curiosity is raging.

Mack, Ridgehaven's camp director was down in our area and stopped in Hattiesburg to meet the guys and conduct interviews. Tuan had read the WCF and while he was still digesting much of it, was definitely hung up on limited atonement and made that clear to Mack. Nevertheless, he got the job and was all set to go off to North Carolina for eleven weeks with four guys he'd barely met.

School had ended and I was getting ready for Twin Lakes and saying good-byes. Tuan was back home preparing for Ridgehaven and wanted to get together before he left.

"Want to go to the Drive-Inn and watch Shrek?"

At that time the vintage Beverly Drive-In was playing movies and it was quite the novelty in Hattiesburg. Now, I realize the story could go in a very obvious direction here. Heh. The "drive-in". However, our story never went in a very obvious direction and I will comfort you all right now with the forewarning that there was no smooching in the Jeep that night. Oh, no there was not.

Tuan came to pick me up with Sonny, John (the once-despised, purported baseball player turned good friend and skit buddy) ,and another guy we'd worked with at Harvest named MIchael Schepemaker.

We piled into the Jeep and head to the Beverly. Tuan backs into the parking space so the rear of the Jeep faces the screen and pulls out the back seat and turns it around so there is a very convenient viewing spot. He indicated to me that there was a spot for me on that back seat and as I sit down--FULLY expecting him to join me, nay, hoping he would join me, Fourteen year old, sweet, oblivious Sonny flops down right beside me leaving Tuan out in the cold.

Thwarted.

Tuan is such a nice brother that he did not kick Sonny out and settled for an awkward perch on the fender in front of me. We settled in to watch Shrek and the whole time I was wistfully wishing that he was beside me. Halfway through the movie, I randomly reached out and touched his head and let me tell ya folks,

SPARKS FLEW!

I'm sure everyone in Hattiesburg saw them in the sky that night. My breath caught and then, more than ever I knew I was starting to fall for this crazy cute, hottie friend of mine.

We saw each other once before he left and only for a few minutes. I went to Twin Lakes, torn because he was not "reformed" (even though he was beginning to think about things) and I still had Mr. "X" the wonderful magical PCA man who fit my list floating around in my head.

I had also learned my lesson from previous heartbreaks and even though I liked Tuan, he did not have my heart. My prayer still was, "Lord, please keep me out of a relationship until it is with the right guy."

So . . . Twin Lakes. At last! It was great and really really hard. I was with some of my best friends in this wide world and loved being a counselor and had so much fun with my girls, but it was a hard summer. Being a counselor is emotionally difficult and physically exhausting and Twin Lakes had doubled in size, making it very different from the small camp of my LIT days. There was much leaning on Jesus that summer.

One of the most restful parts of the week was the counselor hunt. We were sent out to hide in the woods and wait for our campers to come find us. The forty minutes or so of sitting in the somewhat quiet woods was the perfect time to write long letters to Tuan about my summer and to also read and savor his multi-page missives.

Tuan got a fun and lovely introduction to the "Carey guys" the night before they left for Ridgehaven and on the way up to North Carolina. One of the first things he wrote to me was, "Do you realize how flatulent your friends are?" He was also thrown in to a very different place than he'd ever known, the world of the PCA and it's culture. He loved Ridgehaven, but was in a great deal of culture shock and still grappling with reformed Theology.

Much of our letters from the summer deal with those issues and especially limited atonement (dum dum da dum!). However, by the end of the summer, Tuan was loving Ridgehaven and the dear friendships he'd made and, yes, had reconciled himself to Reformed Theology! I rejoice at how God used those circumstances to bring him to that point and to bond with Troy and Josh who are still such dear, dear friends to us both.

Meanwhile, back at Twin Lakes, I had completely let go of the "wonderful magical Mr PCA idea" and by the time camp ended, was pretty ready to see Tuan. Oh, was I ready to see Tuan! I had no idea at all how he felt about me, but I was feeling it.

Did I mention Twin Lakes ran for seven weeks and Ridgehaven for ELEVEN. I wasn't going to be seeing this boy any time soon.

My parents were living in Florida, so I very casually invited anyone on staff who wanted to to come spend a week with us. Twenty-two people signed up and THEN I called my parents and ask if it was okay. Thank goodness they were laid back about those things. We had a lot of fun that week and then four folks ended up staying an extra week due to car trouble, leaving one more LONG week or so. I was getting pretty antsy and so I called Mrs. Dorothy.

If I couldn't talk to Tuan, I could at least talk to his mom. This was before everyone had a cellphone. I had one at that point, but it NEVER left my car. My roomate would get so mad at me for never carrying it. It was so expensive to talk on one--when you could get near a tower and Tuan certainly did not have one. We only talked once that summer--when he finally got to a pay phone and it was a super short conversation. It's funny how much things have changed.

I don't remember seeing him for the first time when he returned, but Tuan, Josh and Troy were very excited about their summer, had all these great stories and games to share and were talking non-stop about how wonderful the staff had been and there were these great girls and fun guys they'd worked with.

Wait a minute. Great girls?

I did not want to hear about "great girls" from Tuan. Oh, no I didn't. And these "great girls" (and guys--I was filtering out "guys") were coming to Hattiesburg. For a visit. They couldn't wait for me to meet them.

Josh's parents had moved to Hattiesburg that summer. His dad, Mr. Andy had diabetes and was suffering many complications from it. Being in Hattiesburg would be good for it's access to hospitals and doctors. They had bought a great house that they had plans to use in some sort of ministry way and all the Ridgehaven crew was going to gather there. The guys wanted me to join them.

Sadly, the day of the gathering, Mr. Andy passed away. Mrs. Les, in spite of it all, encouraged us all to come on over and be with Josh. Josh called to see if the girls could stay at my apartment that night and Tuan picked me up to go over to meet everyone and see Josh.

It was sobering, honestly. Mr. Andy, Mrs. Les and Josh were so dear to me and had been for many years.

On the way over, I was upset for Mrs. Les and Josh, but also very, very nervous about meeting these girls. I had really and truly convinced myself that Tuan was in love with on of them and that he was taking me to the Fortier's house that night to introduce me, his dear "friend", to the girl he was one day going to marry.

I was a nervous, emotional wreck as we knocked on the Fortier's door.

How We Met Part 5, Burning Questions Answered

2011-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

I almost didn't write tonight. Aubrey wrote with a Sharpie on our laptop screen and then somehow broke the screen beyond it's already damaged state and most of the day the screen was all green, then black and wonder of wonders, when I started to use our horrible desktop keyboard (the equivalent of a scratchy pen with little ink--shudder!), I checked the laptop and baby, it is back! I really didn't know if I could write without the laptop--isn't that horribly quirky and dependent?

Still, I could not leave my few faithful readers in the urgent suspense which your comments expressed so well. I will now answer the unanswered question of Part Four:

How do you get an insect out of your ear?

Have the afflicted person lay on their side with the infested ear on the up side. First, pour oil (olive or vegetable) into the ear. This will suffocate the bug and end the horrid noisy stuff going on deep down. (Shudder) Then, pour warm water into the ear, this will cause the oil to rise, bringing the bug right on up with it.

There you go.

Back to the story. I was holding the small box, everyone was looking at me and smiling, I was choking, suffocating and feeling so incredibly awkward and perplexed. I opened the box and pull out three cards.

Three phone cards.

With pictures in the style above.

Remember phone cards? You could use them at pay phones to make calls without using change?

Tuan was grinning ear to ear. I was at once breathing a HUGE sigh of relief and, yet, more confused than ever. Why was he giving me phone cards?

"They are illustrations from the Lord of the Rings by the brothers Hildebrandt and I got them on Ebay!"

This was such foreshadowing of life to come. First of all, Tuan enjoys giving gifts. He puts a LOT of thought into them. Many times in our marriage, I've been utterly baffled by the time and thought put into gifts that I never would have asked for. Second, the man is an Ebay nut. Many times in our marriage, he has openly grumbled at the horrible inconvenience of buying something at the mall when he could just get it on Ebay. I get a LOT of Ebay gifts. Third, He loves Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings, especially. Now, at that time of life, I'd started both the Hobbit and the Trilogy and simply could not finish them (quelle horreur, I know). Naturally, I could never admit to anyone that I had failed to finish the pinnacle of reading, so I'm sure in a past conversation I had admitted to liking Tolkien, but at that time, I mostly remembered Tom Bombadil and Riddles in the Dark. I had no idea who Sauron was, much less Goldberry!

So there I was with these wonderful collectible phone cards that I knew must be treasured! I was also left with some great relief that he had not declared his love to me at Garfield's in front of his parents and my best friend.

We were still "Just friends."

During exam week, right before the Christmas holidays, Tuan called me from a pay phone in New Orleans. His mom had been in a terrible wreck and could I please go be at the hospital with his dad siblings until he could get there? I rushed to Forrest General and spent the next several days at the hospital with him and his family whenever I could get away. Again, I was getting to know my future in-laws, without the pressure of them being "my future in-laws."

That fall, my parents had moved from Collins to Santa Rosa Beach, Florida and I spent the holidays puttering around the Destin-Seaside area, knowing no one besides family and very eager for something to do. So, it was quite exciting when things fell into place for Tuan to come and stay a week with us. We had a lot of fun on the freezing beach and riding around in his Jeep. It was that very week that we exchanged our first Christmas gifts (in addition to the phone cards) and had our first fight.

Yes, our first fight. But Christmas gifts come first. He bought me Casablanca on DVD and I gave him Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles--the Movie--on DVD. DVDS had just come out and were such a big deal!

There was no romance going on that week, but we did have conflict. One night, we were riding around and Tuan asked what we were doing for supper.

"Oh, yeah, my mom is making Nachos!" I was super excited. Nachos night was a big deal for our family.
"Nachos? For supper?! I have NEVER heard of that!" He exclaimed.

Our nachos involved meat, beans, cheese, sour cream, olives and so on and so forth. Tuan's idea of Nachos were the ballgame variety topped with cheese from a pump dispenser and topped with pickled jalapenos. Naturally he was befuddled. I, however, read into his statement and drew the conclusion that by questioning Nachos as an appropriate dinner option he was insulting me, my mother, my family traditions and probably a few other things.

Things in the Jeep got very quiet. I sort of turned my body to the door and we rode in stony silence. Fortunately at some point that night we reconciled and Tuan now considers nachos an acceptable meal option.

The Holidays ended and it was back to school for both of us. Tuan was living with some guys just off of LSU's campus and I was rooming with a super fun girl named Jeanine. We were always up to something and getting into scrapes and silly situations. Our next door neighbors were all on the USM Tennis team. They were all German, French, Swedish, Morroccan and very Continental. They were as pagan as they were good looking, which made our life very interesting, for sure! We didn't have a lot to do with them, but occasionally they'd wander into our apartment.

On the more appropriate friendship note, I had started going to church at Woodland Pres and was loving the families there as well as hanging out a good bit with Anna Griffith and Leigh Wilson. Anna was still in high school, but came to RUF with us and Leigh and I had met at RYM years ago, then reconnected at JCJC. Also going to Woodland were the "Carey Guys". A whole group of mostly Presbyterian fellows who were a little bit older than me and attending William Carey. A few of them became frequent Sunday afternoon visitors at our apartment and Jeanine and I were amazed at the quantities of food they'd devour at Sunday dinner! Josh Fortier was one of the Carey Guys. His dad had been our pastor years back and his mother, Mrs. Les was one of my favorite people ever. Getting to know Josh and his friend Troy was great fun. At that time, I began working as a janitor with some of them.

I could cover pages with stories of mine and Jeanine's adventures, but Valentine's eve of 2001 was not atypical of our crazy life. It was around eleven thirty, we had run to Wal-mart around ten to buy Valentine goodies to give out and a friend of Jeanine's was hanging around the apartment. The tennis team was wandering in and out of our apartment and we had just gotten absolutely tickled about some nonsense when the phone rang.

It was Tuan. And he asked me to be his Valentine.

Sigh. So sweet. Unfortunately, I was so distracted by the bedlam in our apartment, that I just kind of accepted and got off the phone. The next day, however, was Valentine's day and I walked around the whole day with a big smile on my face and Meg Ryan-ish narration playing in my head over and over about how: "I have a Valentine! I hear nothing, not a sound of the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have a Valentine . . . you!" and of course the Cranberries song, "Dreams" was playing:

"Oh, my life is changing everyday,
In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it's never quiet as it seems,
Never quiet as it seems.
I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.
Ah, la da ah...
La... "

Oh, I was starting to wake up and smell the roses. Suddenly, I found myself staring at the phone and wondering why in the world Tuan had not called in days! I was totally on the line of "girls don't call boys" and would not dream of calling him. But, dang it, why hadn't he called!?!?

When he would come visit me in Hattiesburg and bring his siblings along (every single time--love you guys!), I began to inwardly grumble that I never got Tuan to myself.

It was still on again, off again feeling-wise, but the "ons" exceeded the offs by far.

Still, I was clinging to the dream of this perfect Presbyterian Reformed guy that I just knew God had in store for me. I was torn between this idealized guy who fit everything on the list and Tuan who fit nearly everything on the list except, you know, being Reformed!

As spring came, we both decided not to go back to Harvest. I applied for Twin Lakes and was hired--whoo-hoo! I was so excited to be working out there and several good friends were going to be working with me. Tuan had not made plans yet, but he called up one night and said, "you know, I just realized I do not want to be a computer engineer at all. I would hate that! What I really want to do is work at a camp." He needed to make some summer plans.

My friends Josh and Troy along with some of the other Carey Guys were all planning to go and work that summer at Ridgehaven in North Caroliina. I suggested that he apply there and go work with them.

A few nights later, Tuan called. He had printed out the Ridgehaven application and was filling it out, but he had a question.

"Shoot" said I.

"What in the world is the Westminster Confession of Faith? I have to agree to it in order to work at Ridgehaven."

How We Met Part 4

2011-02-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

As I've been writing this story out, I do realize it is a bit one-sided and very full of "I's" and "My's". I also realize that this is not a story involving far off people who have passed on, but folks in the current here and now, so I'm trying to be very careful and discreet! I dreamed last night someone had read my stories so far and had left this multi-paragraph comment printed on glossy paper slamming me and calling me a charlatan.

I also keep asking Tuan: "is all this okay?" "You're revealing my Bapticostal roots!" he has been telling me.

Oh, haven't you heard of a Bapticostal? I hadn't either until I used the terms to describe Tuan to my mom in the summer of 2000. I was sort of mashing Baptist and Pentecostal all into one lump and honestly, he was not at all Pentecostal and I'm not sure why I ever described him in that way! It is a joke to us now. But the Bapticostal term kind of explains why Tuan was not on my radar as a potential husband. I've thrown the term "Reformed" around so much because that was so defining of what I was thinking about and definitely looking for in a future husband. No way I could submit to someone who didn't go for at least four points!

We were back at camp, my best friend, Caroline, had joined the staff and the first few weeks were fabulous. Tuan and I worked at the ropes course, were kind of the "head counselors" I taught canoeing (my favorite activity--ever!), and had the fun of being the camp's evening program director. After the first week, I also took on the job of LIT director and loved it. Tuan was a counselor for the oldest guys and worked ropes and I'm pretty sure we were co-counselors again.

He also sported a very new and different look--instead of the long and very thick bowl cut, Tuan had shaved his head and was looking very different and kind of military-ish and his radio call-name was "Duke." He was pretty good-looking.

Tuan's mom was now our camp cook and I just grew to love "Ms Dorothy" who made our bag lunch sandwiches just as each of us liked them. (No mayonnaise for Tuan and I. More similarities). His brother, Sonny was an LIT. Every Friday night, Mr. Morris, Tuan's step-dad was visiting for the weekly Luau. It's neat how I was getting to know my future in-laws in such a pressure-free way--and already I adored them all.

As camp progressed, we were becoming better friends. We worked together exceptionally well and folks were noticing. One of the older women was asking if we were going to get married! I laughed out loud when I heard that. Totally not!

Older women are usually wiser, aren't they?

The fifth week of camp was Adventure Camp. That week, Tuan and I were given the chance to take on some extra responsibilities and had the fun of overseeing more of the day-to-day running of camp. We were in our element!

Adventure Camp was super fun. During that week, the kids went through the ropes course, flew in an airplane, and went on an overnight canoeing and camping trip on a local creek, among other things. Tuan went with the wonderful "Mr. Bill" on the two guy's trips and I went with Mr. Bill on the one girl's trip.

The night before adventure camp started, we gathered with the staff and afterwards decided to go fishing. I was along for the boat ride and the creepiest thing happened. Something bit Tuan's line and pulled us slowly around the lake, finally breaking his line. We never figured out what it was.

Earlier in the summer, a sweet little girl camper had a roach fly into her ear and crawl down into the earn canal. It was one of the most disturbing things I've ever witnessed. All of us on staff were sufficiently weirded out by the entire episode. I now know how to deal with that and hope to never ever put that to use!

Naturally the night we were camping out on the banks of a local creek, Nikki (another female counselor and I) were still bothered and concerned enough that all we could do was lie in the dark and ponder the possibility that a bug could crawl into our ears or up our noses. We finally got some toilet paper and stuffed our noses and ear so that NOTHING could go in. We got a lot of teasing the next morning.

In between camp-outs, Tuan and I would sit on a bench outside the dining hall and make sure we were on the same page with everything. I remember being especially struck by how we could communicate so much with very few words. In many ways we could read each other's minds and there was an easy camaraderie between us. We were developing a mutual admiration, trusts and respect. Despite all that, I remember telling another staff member that even though I felt like I should like Tuan, I just didn't.

Camp ended and we were better friends than we had ever been. The staff got together several times and one day Tuan called to see if I was free for the day. He had to take his sister Shauna to Brandon, then run to Baton Rouge for some school stuff. Did I want to ride?

Absolutely I did.

They picked me up early that morning, drove to Brandon, then Baton Rouge, where he took me to the BSU and the original Raising Cane's. On the way to drop me off, we stopped by his mom's house and when we finally got to my home it was late. We'd been on the road all day. My parents were out of town, so I invited him to come out to my Granny's and crash.

Remember, there was NO romance. Nothing inappropriate at all. He stayed at Granny's that night and we spent much of the next day driving my dad's jeep around the pastures as I taught Tuan how to drive a stick shift.

We spent around twenty eight hours together. Twenty eight hours of non-stop togetherness. I could not do that with many people. After all that, I was still not tired of being around Tuan. Later on, that was a real indicator of our compatibility.

At this point, it probably would have been strange that there was nothing going on, but from my perspective, I had been the "friend-girl" for so long, that hanging out with boys was just normal.

Summer ended and I moved into an apartment in Hattiesburg and Tuan moved to New Orleans for an engineering internship. Whenever Tuan came home for the weekend, we'd make plans and hang out in Hattiesburg, but it was always, always with Sonny or Shauna. Some nights he would call me from a pay phone in New Orleans but we did not talk much.

Around that time I was having inklings about him, but nothing beyond that. The Lord, in answering my prayers that I would not get into a relationship with anyone unless he was THE ONE, was definitely keeping me from giving my heart away. Whenever someone showed interest, I would simultaneously find it hard to breath and want to run for dear life. It was a good indicator!

Tuan was making good money at this internship and not spending much, so he decided to do some lavish Christmas shopping. He called me around Thanksgiving to tell me what he had gotten for his family and then he said,

"I got you something"

My breath kind of caught.

"You did? What is it?"

"I'm not going to tell you that, but I spent $XX.00 on it."

It was a lavish sum on a college budget. He was so excited about this mystery gift and I was utterly perplexed. Tuan came home before break and invited me to eat dinner with his family at Garfield's and he would give me the utterly amazing gift.

He was so excited.
I was nervous.

I brought my best friend along and as we sat down at the table, I was looking for some big box. Instead, he pulls out a very small box.

Like, small enough to hold jewelry.

I just about vomited. I could hardly breathe.

What had Tuan bought me and was there more going on here than I thought there was? Was he about to declare his love for me then and there and RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY?

The moment was excruciating. They were all smiling, watching.

I began slowly unwrapping the box, readying myself for whatever was to come . . . .

How We Met Part 3, or this, dear madam is a faithful account of all my dealings with Mr. Willoughby and Mr. Churchill

2011-02-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

Walking down this memory lane has been fun for me--so many details to recall and think through. This post, however is quite long. There was no easy way to break this time period into segments. I should have majored in English.

To re-cap, I was about to start my Freshman year at Jones County Junior College. God had closed the doors to Twin Lakes for that summer, he had closed the doors to Belhaven and I headed off to JCJC with a peace that this was God's will for me, but it wasn't going to be pretty. After all, in tiny little Ellisville Mississippi (where one friend sagely warned me that the only fun thing to do was to go to McDonalds), there would be no reformed, godly people--only the same folks I'd gone to High School with. There is a reason they call it 13th grade!

Again, I was resolved to put my time in, and go on to Belhaven where I would meet a godly guy and get on with MY plans!

So Jones. The dry desert wasteland--so how did I find myself on a brisk fall evening sitting in the conference room of a local cabinet door manufacturing company called Morgan Brothers drinking coffee and discussing C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity with five reformed guys?

I think it is because God has a great sense of humor and knows how to meet our needs and direct our lives in ways better than we could ever dream!

When I got to JC, I joined the yearbook staff and somehow the photographer who was this cool dude (no better word than dude applies here) named Eric somehow discovered I liked C.S. Lewis and was Presbyterian/Reformed (while it appears reformed guys numbered at least five at JCJC, reformed girls were MORE scarce). I was promptly invited to join their discussion group/book club that met on Thursday nights.

And that's how I found myself hanging out with the likes of this guy named Eric, and his friend Nathan and meeting all these random reformed baptist guys who were at JCJC, too.

At the beginning of the school year, I had contacted the RUF campus minister at USM hoping to become involved with RUF, but providentially he never returned my e-mail. I ended up being drawn into the Baptist Student Union in all it's glory.

I cannot say enough about the growth and grace experienced during my two years in the BSU at JCJC. God used that time in deep, wide and wonderful ways. I was constantly challenged to defend and explain my faith and positions when differences arose, yet we were all under the oversight and loving pastoral concern of our BSU director, Brother Larry Goff. Brother Larry was one of the godliest men I've ever known. He was Biblically sound, a truth speaker and a gifted discipler.

My freshman year was a time of great fellowship with Eric, Nathan and this girl named Christy who I'd known about my whole life (she lived down the street from my Grandmother), but had never met. Nathan took a group of us through a Bible study on the doctrines of grace that was pure scripture and was just food for my soul.

It was a great year. We were all sort of intoxicated with the romance of life and learning and fun. That spring, I had the privilege of seeing Nathan and Christy fall in like and love and begin a sweet relationship. "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer was a big hit and kind of captured the sort of blissful feelings I was having and towards the end of the spring semester, I found myself head-over-heels and mutually attracted to this other Reformed fellow who was hanging around the BSU.

(okay, Reformed guys were coming out of the woodwork at JCJC that year. I kid you not. Reformed girls were outnumbered. It was the best kept secret in all of reformed-dom.)

So, school ended and romance was blossoming for me and I was all excited because for the first time ever a great guy seemed interested. A great guy who was reformed! A great guy who was cute! And in a Band! And Tall! I mean, how much better could it get? Plus, the camp director at Harvest had invited me back to work around four weeks of camp that summer--whoo-hoo!

In the weeks leading up to camp we had a date or two and sweet e-mails and didn't I say that "Kiss Me" was playing on the radio all the time?

We kissed.

I have to share this part because of the importance of this before and later on.

All through high school, my three best LIT buds and I had sort of all made this promise that WE WOULD NOT KISS A GUY BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED. It was a big deal. I truly don't believe that this is something that is applicable to everyone, but it was a real personal conviction for me. And breaking personal conviction=sin and sin has consequences.

I remember immediately after our first kiss I said something along the lines of "i wasn't going to kiss a guy until I was married to him, but now I don't care."

gulp.

So I headed off to Harvest for another summer of camp and I was giddy and not a little bit obsessed with this boy back home. Tuan was back at camp along with several folks from the previous summer and we were all having a fantastic time working together.

Tuan and I were once again paired up as co-counselors for part of that summer and the first week our team sent out into the woods to get a spirit stick to represent our group.

Tuan La does not deal in twigs and I know that now, but I was amazed and utterly dissolved into laughter when Tuan led our group to a cucumber magnolia tree that stood at least ten feet high and chopped the ENTIRE tree down to serve as our spirit stick. I was laughing so hard, I nearly--well. This is on a tangent, but our group named the stick Billy and carried it so proudly into the Dining hall before we were ordered to reduce our spirit stick size. It was shortened, painted to look like a coral snake and renamed "Raul, Son of Billy."

While I was simultaneously amazed at his antics, I was frequently silenced and put in my place by Tuan's comments. I remember blabbing about something and saying, "Tuan, you don't talk much do you?" He promptly replied, "if you don't talk so much, people think you are smarter/wiser than you really are."

Gulp. I was silenced!

One late night, we were on mopping duty and were mopping the kitchen. In our conversation, I started talking about my little romance that was going on and confided that we had kissed. Tuan, in his wonderful way shot back, "I'm not going to kiss a woman until I'm married to her."

Gulp. Talk about conviction!

Camp ended and I was still crazy about this boy, but had not seen much of him. The director of the camp threw this huge party on the Fourth of July for the staff and we spent the entire day on the lake, riding Jet Skis and swimming. Tuan and I laugh about riding on the Jet Ski and watching the sun set that evening--and neither of us had a single romantic inkling!

In the weeks after camp, the phone calls and e-mails stopped. I was struggling with denial that this spring fling was ending. Any doubt was eclipsed when we went with some of his friends to a concert in Jackson that turned out to be a night of zero interaction. At IHOP for a post-concert meal, I went to the bathroom and when I flushed the toilet, water flooded the bathroom. It was the fitting end to a terrible night and foolish relationship. It was so over.

In the weeks leading up to school starting, Tuan was set to have ACL surgery. The day of the surgery, I very randomly sent him flowers. He says they were the first thing he saw when he woke up and I was the first person he called.

Our camp director's family was a lot of fun and they were really great about getting us all together. Several times after camp, we did some fun outings. I always had fun with Tuan, but never gave him a second thought.

He went off to LSU and I was back at JCJCJ. It was an interesting time because I was really struggling over the very-unexplained rejection from this guy who had been my very first anything and simultaneously having a blast with other BSU buddies and my incredible room-mate, Tina. It was a real time of growth and dependence on God. I remember praying every day for grace to deal with seeing him and struggling as he and a friend became involved.

Once more, there were a lot of "why, Lords?" going up.

During that time, I kept reading Hebrews 12

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I felt so acutely that the heart pain I was experiencing was the consequence of so recklessly breaking my convictions. Please note that I didn't feel like I was being punished--I knew without a doubt that I was completely and utterly forgiven! It was, however, a time to cling to Jesus and take heart because God was treating me as his daughter!

When I look back at JCJC it was a spiritual greenhouse of growth and good friendships and one of the happiest times of my life. I was busy, involved and giving not so much as a thought to this fellow named Tuan who was hours away at LSU.

Our camp director's family called up one crisp fall weekend and invited me to a camp-out at Tuan's. A group of us gathered with both families and had a rollicking time. I remember sitting beside Tuan, watching the fire with the great starry sky overhead as he told me all about this wonderful girl he had met. She was so cool and blah, blah, blah. Great, I thought and went on with my life.

I really did not think about Tuan much that year. Every now and then he would call my dorm room around midnight, but he would always call through the internet to save money (that is so much like Tuan, I have to laugh) and it was such a terrible connection that I got off the phone ASAP. "Why is he calling and can't he use a regular phone?" Those were my unromantic thoughts.

We saw each other at the Christmas staff reunion and got in trouble with the camp director for being out too late. We were innocently running all over camp and looking at the stars and talking (it sounds so romantic, but so was not). I remember the camp director finding us and asking what we were doing. "Playing!" I replied. "What kind of games were you playing?" He grumpily asked. Granted it was two in the morning and I totally understand his position--now.

As spring came, thoughts turned to love one more and I had my heart utterly crushed and stomped on. It was horrible and uncomfortable and if it weren't so integral to the story later on, I'd leave it out completely.

I was hurt far more than over the previous spring's fling. I had given my heart completely away, without reservation and very foolishly. As a consequence, I was absolutely broken and bruised. Daily, I had to cling to the cross for grace to make it and for a lot of grace to be forgiving.

Forgiving was very hard, but God gave grace beyond expectations along with a very kind friend who came alongside me during those first hard days. And gradually, things improved.

In those days, I felt like a singleton amongst what seemed like a thousand people who had found their soul mates. Life was like an endless E-harmony commercial. I was convinced that I was the perpetual friend-girl who boys would hang out with, but never like. I was also a bit gun-shy about even getting into another relationship again. Eventually, my prayer came to be, "Lord, if you want me to get married, please do not let me be in a single relationship ever again until it is with the right guy."

The last weeks of school were bitter and sweet. The incredible JCJC days were ending and I was all set to transfer to Belhaven--finally! And, I was going back to Harvest for another summer. I just knew it was going to be great!

I was editing the yearbook, taking art classes and doing a work-study for our Public Relations Director. One day toward the end of school, she said, "Paula, you should really think about studying graphic design instead of English."

And just like that the Belhaven door closed. This time though, it wasn't difficult. It was shut gently and locked, while the door to USM, along with a change in major opened wide and welcoming.

So, another summer at Harvest and on to USM in the fall.

I came to camp so glad to have gotten away from everything. Tuan came to camp somewhat bruised and broken hearted. The wonderful "blah blah blah" girl had not worked out.

And they had kissed.

And so, we were even.

smirk

How We Met Part 2

2011-02-14T20:27:00.000-08:00

Looking back on when Tuan and I first met, I have very few episodic memories, but interesting snippets from that week of camp. I was kind of thrown into the fun with a group of folks who had worked together several weeks before I got there and I'm sure I was clueless about all that was going on, but I LOVED camp and was so thrilled to be there.

Tuan and I were paired up as "co-counselors" and led a small group of boys and girls. We named our team the ducks and Tuan would act like a mama duck, make a tail with his hands and all of our "little ducklings" would act like ducks and march around to our team cheer. I think it was, "but the one little duck with the feather in his back, he ruled the others with a quack, quack, quack!"

We taught Bible together. I have no idea what we taught and honestly, we were very Theologically different, so I'm not sure how we did that!

I remember sitting at a table with him in a small room trying to figure out who was getting which activity awards--for Riflery and Archery?

On the Thursday of Day camp, the kids went home at lunch-time and returned for the evening and an overnight. I still did not know Tuan very well, but had spent a lot of time laughing with his sister. All the other staff were leaving for the afternoon and I had no idea what to do with myself since I lived too far away to run home. Shauna (Tuan's sister), invited me to spend the afternoon with her and Tuan. So Shauna and I piled into my 1987 Nissan Stanza (swanky, yes) and followed Tuan (who, incidentally was driving his 1991 Nissan Stanza--so cool) into Columbia for the afternoon.

I laugh especially, at this, because I got my first taste of their family and family culture that day and had NO CLUE I would have the joy of being a part of it one day.

Tuan drove very fast up and down the country roads. I was not a fast driver (then) and was trying desperately to safely keep up with him. We went to their house where I met Mrs. Dorothy for the first time and Brownie (the family's beloved dacshund) escaped from the house and we all went chasing after him. After meeting my unbeknownst-to-me future-mother-in-law, they took me to this Chinese restaurant in downtown Columbia.

I remember really enjoying that afternoon, but in no way more than thinking, "hey, this brother and sister are fun and they like the same music I do!" I actually had more fun with his sister, Shauna that week than with Tuan.

I also have to point out that our camp cook that week was none other than Mrs. Beth Sanford, whose oldest daughter Julia was a counselor and whose next oldest daughter, Elizabeth was one of my campers---it is amazing how God weaves people into your lives. The Sanfords are one of our favorite families and we love them all so much!

I left that week of camp giving nary a thought to Tuan, excepting the letter that our camp director sent me after camp. It was a "thank you for working, hope you come back next year" kind of letter, but written in red ink at the bottom of the page was this:

"I thought you and Tuan worked especially well together."

Is that foreshadowing or what?

I left Harvest giving little thought to the cute half-Vietnamese guy with the bowl cut and airwalk sneakers who drove the same car as me. I was afflicted with the early stages of Young Calvinists Disease and Tuan's bumper stickers sort of explain why I NEVER considered him an option:

One said, "Yes, Lord, we will ride" and another warned that "in case of rapture this vehicle will be unmanned".

Ha! Totally not an option for me! I was about to put in my two years of service at JCJC and get onto Belhaven where the real marriage potentials were!

How We Met Part 1

2011-02-14T18:27:00.001-08:00

Someone posted their relationship stats on FB and it got me thinking about "our" story. How Tuan and I met and the really remarkable and wonderful ways that the LORD worked to bring us together. I've wanted for some time to write it all out, because as time goes by, I am forgetting more and more--and I surely do not want to do that. I think it may be encouraging for those who have had the doors to their plans shut firmly by the Lord and are wondering what in the world the Lord is doing and how can he possibly work things out or do better than "my plans." I know I felt that way.

The first day I laid eyes on Tuan was late June or early July 1998. I had been asked by a pastor/camp director to come and work a week as a counselor at Harvest Ministries in wee little Carson, MS. I remember sitting on the porch of the Lodge/Dining Hall on an early Monday morning, totally unsure of what was going to happen and wondering who all those people were. I have a vague recollection of Tuan sitting there, too, but I was much more pre-occupied with his best friend, John, who in my wild imagination, I determined was a Pearl River Community College baseball player. I had something against baseball players in those days (no rational reason) and was kind of set on not liking him. In fact, I was sort of grumpily hostile toward John on the inside, until I found out he was NOT a PRC baseball player.

If you had asked me a year earlier what I would be doing summer of 1998, I would have told you this:

"Well, I'll be working at Twin Lakes for the first time as a counselor, then I'll be getting ready to start Belhaven College in the fall and I will study English and minor in Spanish and Art, go to RUF and work at Twin Lakes every summer and then I'll meet my husband at Twin Lakes my junior year, we'll get married and then he will be a camp director at Twin Lakes and we'll have twelve sons all named after the twelve tribes and I'll make GREAT biscuits. "

Seriously. That was MY plan. The summer of 1997, I went to RYM and took a class called, Making Sense of the Struggle. That was the first time the gospel became real to me. Truly, through the teaching of a man named Joey Stuart, God opened my eyes big time to His astounding holiness, my wretched sinfulness and the greatness and glory of the cross. I understood for the first time that Jesus lived for me the life I could not and died the death I could not. I still get giddy thinking about it.

At the same time, I was learning about what it meant to be reformed and was so excited about graduating, working at my beloved Twin Lakes and getting to be at Belhaven with all these godly people and going to RUF. I loved Twin Lakes (probably too much), had been an LIT every single year possible and all my best friends were my LIT buddies. I was determined to not do what everyone else from high school was doing (Jones County Junior College) and I wanted to get away from my home town and be with "real Christians." I had grown up in a small PCA church with few kids and was excited about being at Belhaven.

In spring of '98, I walked to the mailbox every day, because I was waiting to hear from Twin Lakes. I had applied and interviewed and felt great about it all. The day I got "the letter". I tore it open to find not welcome but REJECTION. Utter and total rejection. Twin Lakes did not have a place for me on staff. It was a pretty terrible time of tears and grief.

At the same time, the doors to Belhaven closed. There simply wasn't enough money for me to go. The doors to JCJC, however, were flung WIDE open. I decided to go to JCJC, but I did it with the resolve of, "Okay, I'll go to JCJC and suffer for two years, but it will be a spiritual wasteland and there will be no fellowship, but maybe I can go to RUF at USM? And then, after two years I'll transfer to Belhaven."

The last semester of Senior year was great and I made some great friendships with folks I'd never gotten to know--so thankful for that! Although I still had kind of a gaping wound from the rejection, I was kind of giddy with life and graduation stuff. I remember a warm spring evening, standing in my bathroom curling my hair and preparing to go to a play. An ambulance went past our house with it's sirens wailing. Absentmindedly, I wondered who it was and kept getting dressed. Minutes later, someone knocked on our door. It was my grandparent's neighbor and she came to tell us my grandfather had had a heart attack and was at the local hospital. We all rushed to the hospital. I remember praying and weeping while they worked on him and the horrid grief that descended when we found out he had died.

I think everyone has significant markers in their lives and losing my beloved Papaw is one of mine. I came into the summer grieving and in retrospect, being at Twin Lakes all summer after that had happened would have been very hard.

But viewing things in retrospect and living them is quite different. That summer, I had a lot of "whys?" going up, for sure.

I was asked by a pastor friend to be a counselor at a denominational camp that had moved from Twin Lakes to Harvest Ministries (I was like, "where?") and went for a wonderful week. Some really cool relationships were built and my cousins and sister were able to be campers. I also met a young man named Joey who would one day marry one of my favorite people in the world--Elizabeth! The director of Harvest and his family were around that week and I had the privilege of getting to know them. He told me that Harvest ran their own camps, had one more week of day camp to go and would I be interested in working the next week? Absolutely I would.

So that is how I found myself on a porch at a little camp on a summer morning, unknowingly sitting near my future husband. Part II to follow--naturally!

Comparison is the Root of all Agony

2011-02-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

Oh, is that not so true? Lately, I've had to limit which blogs I read because there are some blogs that no matter how sincerely they are done (or not) just drag me down. I'm compelled to compare myself to other women and their lives, friends, houses, children, spiritual growth, housework accomplished, so on and so forth. I have always struggled with this tension of loneliness and love of solitude and often, blogs just enhance the feeling of loneliness. (How could I possibly feel alone with three children-I ask you?)

But my job isn't to be like so and so, or Miss Type A -got-it-all-together (nothing wrong with Type A--just not remotely attainable for me!), or Miss "I can paint my living room in an hour". No, my job is to be who God has created me to be and to do what he has uniquely called me to do.

And so, that is why I need to avoid some blogs. It also drives home to me the careful need to balance truth and memories when publicly recording daily life. My friend Sarah just wrote a post about this today.

We Southern women just want to have it all together--nice clothes, nice hair, cute kids, clean car, handsome husband, decorated clean house--hah! Without Jesus that is all emptiness and futility--chasing after the wind. I find it ironic that the only days I typically "dress" and fix my hair are church days--Sundays and Wednesdays. The very place I should be able to be broken and real is the place where I present the "best front."

In that vein, there are a few blogs that do encourage me and not pull me down. I am only sharing a few, because there are lots of real and wonderful people out there! Sarah above is always encouraging. Guitta is one of my favoritest, most aunthentic and real friends.

And in the vein of people who I do not know at all in real life (but so wish I did), Kendra at Preschoolers and Peace is so encouraging to me as a Mom of little ones. And then there is Auntie Leila who for practical parenting and housekeeping advice without the judgement or perfection is just fabulous. She is the sort of person who tells it like it is and yet you just love her for it. In this day and age, I need a woman who can and will lecture me about dishtowels and sponges and laundry and child-raising. One of the things I love is her beautiful house that is an accumulated beauty filled with things worn around the edges. Although we do differ Theologically, she is a very encouraging sister in the LORD.

So, what blogs encourage you?

When I became Indignant and Shrieked Into the Phone

2011-01-27T07:14:00.000-08:00

One night, when we had been married just around a year, Tuan and I were lounging about watching television. The phone rang and I went to answer it. (We had no caller id--only a vintage rotary phone). Suddenly Tuan heard me shrieking and yelling and then I hung up the phone and came back into the living room. You would have to pardon my French if I told you how I felt at that moment.

Silence.

"Umm . . . what happened?" Thus inquired my still new husband.

This is what happened.

I answered the phone and a man asked for "Tuu--wan Lay". (This is always a good indication that we do not know the caller). I asked who might be calling and he said, "This is So&So from Girls Gone Wild and we just want to ask Mr. Lay a few questions."

I lost it. I had always heard about wifely, spousal jealousy, but until that point, such emotional exertion had not been required of me.

It was that night.

Words poured out of my mouth and as my anger increased, the pitch of my voice corresponded and thus in a loud, shrill, indignant voice, I began yelling into the phone:

"How dare you!!! How dare you call our house with your filth and your scum and nastiness! You should be ashamed! Don't you ever call us again!!!"

I also may have said something about "Does your mom know what you are doing?" But it all happened so fast and in such an emotional blur.

He hung up and was never heard from again.

Wisdom

2011-01-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

I wish I were wise, I really do. I also wish I had some Captain Crunch with Berries on hand because I just imagined the smell of that and I do so love Captain Crunch. (is there a low-carb one? I doubt it).

I wish I had a better attention span.

Anyway, thinking about wisdom. Wisdom and especially discernment are not my spiritual gifts. I don't read people or situations well at all. That's why I appreciate others who do have the gift and the things they've shared with me.

One of the most important pieces of advice I've been given regarding marriage is to never criticize or mock your spouse before others. I've been thinking about that a lot after a friend of a friend lamented on Facebook that her husband never takes her on dates, blah, blah, blah. I've really tried to take that to heart and keep any relational complaints or difficulties I have between Tuan and the LORD. (I don't have many, in case you were wondering) There's also the boundary of finding my man humorous and amusing but not crossing over into mocking.

Presenting a unified front is a concept I also learned before we got married. There is a difference between faking a unified front while everything behind closed doors is simmering and boiling and actually being unified. One wise couple would not answer the door until they were reconciled to each other. The importance of resolving differences privately and discreetly and not involving other parties in your spats was stressed. Of course there are times when you may need the wisdom of a third party (but not third parties as in everyone on Face Book!) There is also at times a need for non-verbal communication that you each understand--especially when you cannot slip away for a private conversation!

Of course having thought about this I kept finding all sorts of ridiculous opportunities to do the same things I was mentally composing a blog post about. Humbling, for sure. I'm thankful for wise people who share their wisdom with unwise folk like me!

Getting Away

2011-01-16T20:44:00.001-08:00

Sometime back in the fall, we were discussing anniversary plans and what to do for our eighth anniversary celebration. Since Tuan has been on full-time staff here, major anniversary celebrations have fallen by the wayside as post-Christmas guest groups and mission trips have been on the front burner. (Along with pregnancies and babies!) I have no complaints about that at all!

This year, though, we decided to do something at some point and agreed he would take the planning and I'd be surprised. (We often take turns planning anniversaries and Valentines).

Boy, did he ever surprise me!

I was expecting something very modest and brief. Tuan went above and beyond my expectations and plotted and schemed and laundered money and sold things behind my back in order to pull the surprise off. Everyone knew but me.

I was speechless.

Our parents took care of our kids so we could truly get away and we had a blissful week together. By the end of the week we missed our kiddos so much, but it was good to simply be myself and for him to be Tuan.

Does that make sense?

Being Mommy to our precious children is a huge part of myself now, but sometimes, I am glad to just be Paula. (But not for too long).

We are glad to be back home with our little family and I feel so incredibly refreshed, renewed and inspired to tackle life and projects.

And laundry.

Leaning on Jesus

2011-01-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this on Nancy Wilson's blog the other day. It was a rather timely read for me. You should read the original article in it's entirety, but here is a quote that stood out:

"Leaning hard brings rest like nothing else. To lean hard you must get under God’s feet and submit to His plans and purposes, even if you do not see them fully or understand them at all. Leaning means shifting all the weight of the burden from your shoulders to His. This may have been the first Christmas you have had without someone dear to you. Lean, rest, and trust. And the more we lean and lean hard, the more peace and rest we will find. Leaning hard means that we say, “He does all things well. This is perfect for me.” And saying that requires faith, and faith is the thing we want."

The article was dealing with grieving at Christmas (and in general), but I was so encouraged by the thought of shifting the weight of my burdens from my shoulders to Jesus'. I so often take my burdens and push them away and into the corner, thinking that the problem will be solved, but the reality is, they are not actually gone. These burdens are cluttering up my "house." Really, only Jesus can take them away.

I am struggling with some burdens of my own. Grieving and doubting and questioning relationships and situations and personal decisions. Oh, how I need to lean hard on Jesus and cast my burdens on him.

1. All praise to God, who reigns above,
The God of all creation,
The God of wonders, power, and love,
The God of our salvation!
With healing balm my soul He fills,
The God who every sorrow stills,--
To God all praise and glory!

2. What God's almighty power hath made
His gracious mercy keepeth;
By morning dawn or evening shade
His watchful eye ne'er sleepeth;
Within the kingdom of His might
Lo, all is just and all is right,--
To God all praise and glory!

3. I cried to Him in time of need:
Lord God, oh, hear my calling!
For death He gave me life indeed
And kept my feet from falling.
For this my thanks shall endless be;
Oh, thank Him, thank our God, with me,--
To God all praise and glory!

4. The Lord forsaketh not His flock,
His chosen generation;
He is their Refuge and their Rock,
Their Peace and their Salvation.
As with a mother's tender hand
He leads His own, His chosen band,--
To God all praise and glory!

5. Ye who confess Christ's holy name,
To God give praise and glory!
Ye who the Father's power proclaim,
To God give praise and glory!
All idols under foot be trod,
The Lord is God! The Lord is God!
To God all praise and glory!

6. Then come before His presence now
And banish fear and sadness;
To your Redeemer pay your vow
And sing with joy and gladness:
Though great distress my soul befell,
The Lord, my God, did all things well,--
To God all praise and glory!

Eight Years Ago

2010-12-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

Eight years ago, at about the same time of day as I am writing this, I was standing in the parking lot of Woodland Presbyterian Church in Hattiesburg, MS crying. My hair was as cute as could be and I was just hours away from marrying the the love of my life, but I had locked my keys, veil, makeup, phone and purse in the car and had NO MONEY. All the bridesmaids and family members were off getting ready and running around and I was all alone.

I went inside the fellowship hall and ran into Marian Griffith (who was doing our decorations). "My keys and everything are locked in my car!" I managed to say this between the sobs and hiccups and general emotion that was consuming me at the time. The LORD knew that Marian was just who I needed at the moment, because there was no hug or sympathy or consolation. She quickly said, "Paula, stop crying right now or you'll have red eyes in your wedding pictures. Do you want your wedding pictures to have red eyes?" No, I did not. Let's just say I pulled myself together and called a locksmith and Mrs. Leslie Fortier to borrow some money to pay the locksmith! Oh, the days before everyone had cellphones!

We were both just twenty two years old and crazy in love. Now we are thirty and still crazy in love. : ) Our wedding day was full of friends and family, our ceremony full of meaning and the reception so fun we stayed until folks made us leave. Really, they did. We really enjoyed our wedding day; in part, because we prioritized things. Some elements of the wedding were very important to us and worth the details and time and some weren't and we left them alone. I remember that I did not want a professional photographer bossing us around the whole time and making sure we got all the right photos at the reception. So, we enlisted a handful of family and friends to take our pictures for us and I still LOVE our photos. Do I have a cake-cutting photo? I have no idea and still don't care. But what I do have are tons of photos of the sweet family and friends who attended and made our day so special!

Here are eight memories of that wonderful day!

1. The decorations. Marian, Anna and I spent hours planning the reception decorations and decorating and she and her sister, Mildred did such a beautiful job finishing everything. It was stunning.

2. The cakes. I hired a girl I went to school with to make our cakes. She worked for well-regarded pastry shop. The armadillo groom's cake was well executed and something else, for sure! The actual wedding cake was a bit funny. I wanted a small, three tiered white cake with lovely berries and fruit garnishes. Southern Living had a great inspiration picture. The actual result was a three-tiered cake with kumquats and grapes (maybe there were some berries) and the weight of fruit sort of tilted the layers. It was very funny looking although no one said it to my face. Fortunately I had ordered a small cake so that we could have assorted layer cakes from Shady Acres to serve. The Italian creme cake (which we ate leftovers of for weeks) rocked our world. One of these anniversaries I need to get one for celebrating.

3. My back ached (probably from the decorating) and I wore those instant, disposable heating pads under my dress!

4. Isotoner ballet slippers instead of wedding shoes.

5. Walking down the aisle to see Tuan for the first time. The sanctuary was empty. Just us. Lovely.

6. The music! Our friend, Michael was a fabulous guitarist and pianist. He did a guitar/vocal solo of O The Deep, Deep Love of Jesus before the processional. It was beyond amazing and beautiful. All of the wedding music was just lovely.

7. The Kiss! We saved our first kiss on the lips for our wedding day. For some reason, we did not "plan" it out. I remember when Clint said that Tuan could "kiss the bride" and our lips met for the first time, my over-active brain started panicking. "What if we kiss too long? What if Tuan decides to make our first kiss a French kiss and it is in front of all these people? I cannot handle that." I can get a lot of thinking done in a three second span. In the frenzy of panic, I pulled away, determined to save face before "God and all these witnesses". Tuan must have looked funny, because Clint said something like, "not done yet, Tuan?" He replied in the affirmative and pulled me back for a second, longer smooch in front of a laughing crowd. So much for saving face!

8. Eggrolls. Tuan's dad made over 1100 eggrolls for the wedding and our caterer fried them all afternoon. I think they were the second most important memory of Tuan's day and I would be remiss without mentioning them.

Happy Anniversary, Honey!

On Entertaining . . .

2010-12-10T23:18:00.000-08:00

Since we bought a double bed for Miss A, I've felt much more able to invite folks to spend the night with us. Now, we had a fabulous couch, but only one person can sleep on a couch (usually) and it doesn't afford much privacy. I feel very blessed to have Miss A's room available at a moment's notice (sort of) for anyone in need of a place to sleep. It has also spurred some thoughts about hospitality and houseguests especially.

We've had the pleasure of staying with so many wonderful families and friends who have made us feel more than welcome and comfortable and I thought jotting down some things I've observed/am learning/need to do would help me and hopefully someone else. I am, however, slanted in the parental perspective with my kiddos being so young. Here goes!

1. Ample towels. Some people just need two bath towels. It is a nice gesture to provide the towels in cute little bundles or baskets, but do make sure that either you supply plenty per person or let your guests know where the towels are.

2. Soap in the bath as well as access to basic toiletries they may have forgotten, plus a place to stow personal toiletries in the bathroom (if there is room).

3. A lamp in the bedroom! Very, very important. I know some folks are all about harsh overhead lighting, but your guests may have an aversion to the light or be rooming with their children and need some sort of low light in the room if they go to bed after the kids. (No stumbling about in the dark while trying to get ready for bed). A night light is a good thing.

4. Some means of climate control. A fan, encouragement to open a window and access to extra blankets. I have this vague memory of blindly digging through someone's closet in the middle of the night desperate for a blanket to warm my freezing body.

5. A water glass or bottled water for the bedroom. No stumbling around in someone's strange kitchen in the middle of the night.

6. Ample pillows.

7. At the beginning of the visit, let folks know the general schedule of your household. "We usually get up around seven, but you are more than welcome to sleep later." Or, "we sleep in on Saturdays, but if you are up before us, here is the cereal, coffee, etc . . " Make sure your guests know that they are welcome to stay up later than you, etc . . .

8. Particularly with children who are not always adaptable to a new schedule and meal routine, do encourage your guests to help themselves to snacks and beverages. If there are certain things you are saving, say so, but make sure your guests are able to care for their children and selves. I remember staying with some folks who ate breakfast very late in the morning and our kiddos were hungry way before it was even begun. We huddled in our room feeding them peanut butter crackers so they could survive until breakfast.

9. House rules are helpful to know. "We don't eat on the couch" or "no shoes on the carpet" help considerate guests be considerate!

10. Depart when you say you are. (if you are a guest). There is nothing so awkward for a hostess who needs to feed children or put them down for naps and is still entertaining guests who were supposed to leave hours before.

11. Focus on the people. A friend shared this philosophy of entertaining: "I get the house cleaned and neat, enjoy the people while they are here and we can always clean up tomorrow." I like that. Naturally, things have to be done while guests are at your house (especially overnight guests), but the priority should be people.

Christmas Bonus!

2010-12-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

We have a new expression around here, it's "CHRISTMAS BONUS!". This does not refer to cash bonuses, although those are certainly lovely when they come. Rather, "CHRISTMAS BONUS!" is one of those pleasant deviations, surprises, unexpected happenings that God sends our way. Here are three of them:

1. I was rushing to clean up the kitchen after supper so that we could do Advent. The sink was full of dishes and I was dreading unloading and then loading the dishwasher. I started to leave them in the sink until after, but decided to go ahead and get it out of the way. When I opened the dishwasher, I was astonished to find it had already been emptied. "CHRISTMAS BONUS!"

2. This morning, I woke up and the sun was shining brightly through our window. Our alarm clock (a.k.a. baby) had not gone off and I popped down stairs without waking anyone and got to have quiet time and coffee in solitude. Sleeping late and being up before everyone is definitely a "CHRISTMAS BONUS". (I did not yell it that time, though!)

3. Tonight, we were planning to do something and I had foolishly/distractedly gotten the dates wrong. Instead we piled into the car and drove an hour north to check out a city with a big courthouse light display. Approaching the Square, we noticed a lot of police cars and people--it was a parade! Although we had to rush, we caught most of it and the kids ate it up, especially the dancing/performing horses! It was a memorable "CHRISTMAS BONUS"!

God is infinite and yet personal. He knows us intimately and lavishes love and grace upon us in so many ways--big and small. What "CHRISTMAS BONUSES" have you experienced lately?

Pumpkin Mousse. Please, make this!

2010-11-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

Tuan and I both have been doing the low carb life and it has been so good for us. Being out of town this week and eating more grains, beans and refined "junk" has confirmed for me that this diet has been a good choice for us. In fact, I am ready for a good plate of meat and veggies. I nearly cried when I had a plate of carnitas and guac and pico yesterday. My body was so happy. It's a good feeling to have learned what works best for one's body. I know for some, it's whole grains and low fat or no dairy. For my body, sugar and starches are not my friends (as much as I LOVE them, and I do adore refined foods--they're so, refined). Proteins, fats, nuts, cheeses, veggies and berries are my food allies.

I also love dessert and hate missing out on the fun of fall cooking (pumpkin, anyone?). I was racking my brain for several weeks over something fall-like and pumpkin-y that we could make without falling off the wagon. I realized an egg-based dessert with whipped cream met the criteria and found a recipe for pumpkin mousse on Country Living's website. Y'all, this recipe rocked our world!

Imagine, decadent pumpkin spiced with cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg layered with crumbled chocolate, salted ginger pecans and nutmeg whipped cream. Seriously, we could not believe the good fortune of this recipe. It is low in carbs and calories and I have to confess I ate it for breakfast the next day. It filled me up and kept me going with no crashes later.

I calculated the nutrition facts and am including links to the recipes with adjustments I made. This is better than pumpkin pie and I plan to make it again very soon. The only trick with the nutrition facts is I calculated it with less chocolate than I would have used for the whole recipe. Not a huge difference. : )

Nutrition Facts
User Entered Recipe
12 Servings

Amount Per Serving

Calories 344.7
Total Fat 32.1 g
Saturated Fat 11.9 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 5.2 g
Monounsaturated Fat 13.4 g
Cholesterol 140.7 mg

Sodium 291.0 mg

Potassium 196.8 mg

Total Carbohydrate 13.3 g

Dietary Fiber 3.1 g

Sugars 6.7 g

Protein 4.3 g

Vitamin A 124.5 %
Vitamin B-12 3.4 %
Vitamin B-6 4.9 %
Vitamin C 3.3 %
Vitamin D 6.9 %
Vitamin E 8.4 %
Calcium 6.0 %
Copper 14.6 %
Folate 5.1 %
Iron 7.5 %
Magnesium 9.1 %
Manganese 52.2 %
Niacin 2.0 %
Pantothenic Acid 6.1 %
Phosphorus 11.8 %
Riboflavin 7.2 %
Selenium 7.2 %
Thiamin 10.7 %
Zinc 8.2 %

The Pumpkin Mousse:
Ingredients

5 large egg yolks
1 cup(s) sugar (I used 1/3 c. of Palm sugar--you don't need nearly as much)
3 1/2 cup(s) heavy cream
15 ounce(s) canned pumpkin
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoon(s) ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon(s) ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon(s) ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
2 tablespoon(s) dark rum (No rum around, just substitute water)
1 teaspoon(s) powdered gelatin
3 ounce(s) shaved dark chocolate (We used semi-sweet baking bars crushed with a cleaver)
Directions
Fill a large bowl halfway with ice water and set aside.
Whisk the yolks, 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1/3 cup) sugar, and 3/4 cup cream together in a medium saucepan. Heat while stirring continuously with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon over medium-low heat, until thickened and the mixture coats the spatula -- about 10 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl and set over the ice bath. Stir to cool.
Add pumpkin, vanilla, spices, and salt to the egg mixture. Stir 1 tablespoon rum and 1 teaspoon gelatin together in a small bowl. Heat the remaining tablespoon rum, and stir in to the gelatin mixture until dissolved. Gently whisk into the pumpkin mixture. Beat 1/2 cup cream to stiff peaks, and fold into pumpkin mixture. Pour into a shallow dish, cover and chill until cold and thick enough to fall from a spoon in heavy dollops -- about 8 hours or up to overnight.
Beat the remaining cream, liberal quantity of nutmeg and (NO!)sugar to stiff peaks. Alternately layer the pumpkin mousse and whipped cream in a glass serving dish. Sprinkle the chocolate shavings (and pecans!) between top two layers. Serve chilled.

Salted, gingered pecans.
(this was adapted from Bon Appetit)
2 cups pecan halves
3 tbsp butter
1 tsp (give or take) kosher or sea salt
ground ginger

Melt butter, toss pecans in butter, sprinkle with salt and liberally with ginger. Toast at 325 for fifteen minutes or until toasted.

I frequently cook with palm sugar. It can be found in asian markets and is so good. The affect of palm sugar on blood sugar rises and spikes is purported to be much better than white sugar and it has the subtle flavor of candy corn.

We are not alone

2010-11-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, no. We've had a quite a posse accompanying us in our daily grind. I'm not sure how many nor do I have specific names, but I can say that "Johnny's Boys" and "Aubrey's Girls" have been a constant presence in our house for the last few weeks. They play, get lost, need crackers, roam in the woods, follow instruction and generally follow our children's leadership. It's been a lot of fun.

We built a firepit area, got the swing and chairs all ready; had one fire, and then, sadly, the burn ban came along. Mr. J is longing to "burn marshmallows". He has, however, used this time wisely by decorating Miss A's face so she resembles MIchael from Peter Pan. I think it fits in nicely with our unseen boys and girls roaming around.

This is a good, enjoyable season of life. Each child is at a uniquely fun age and we are having a ball. The initial, bleary newborn days of juggling and sleep deprivation are passed and there is some (only some, mind you--wouldn't want too much) order. Mr. J is asking a lot of questions about death and life and I am thankful the Bible has the answers to these questions!

Baby O and I are up earlier than the remaining crew--even Tuan is getting some much needed rest this morning and I am enjoying some much-appreciated quiet time. Now, off to tackle some necessary tasks--in blissful quiet!

A Person is a Person No Matter How Small

2010-10-21T20:59:00.001-07:00

Tonight we attended a fund-raising banquet for the local Center for Pregnancy Choices. My heart was so moved by the testimony of a woman who had an abortion as a teenager and found grace and forgiveness as an adult.

Abortion is horrible and unjustifiable and it hurts.

An OB-GYN spoke and shared this one thing that struck me. He said that society has constantly justified atrocities towards different populations by declaring them non-persons. E.g., women were not considered "persons" and thus could not vote or have property rights. Jews were not considered "persons" by the Germans. African-Americans were not considered "persons" and denied constitutional rights and freedom.

By refusing to acknowledge that that baby in the womb--no matter how big or small--is a person, that somehow justifies abortion.

It does not. Abortion is an atrocity against a population that cannot speak for or defend itself.

We fill animal shelters with abandoned pets because we are anti-cruelty and maintain a no-kill policy. Our culture values the lives of animals over people. Unborn sea turtles are protected under the law, but human beings, made in the image of God, are not.

No situation is completely hopeless. God offers hope! God offers grace and forgiveness and can redeem even the worst of situations.

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

Drumroll please . . .

2010-10-14T14:18:00.001-07:00

And the couch we chose was . . . . . Number 2!

And no one guessed correctly, so no one wins the fabulous giveaway I should have hosted in conjunction with the previous post!

Which Did We Buy?

2010-10-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

I am not going to post a photo of our new couch--in our living room--just yet! We are still trying to sell the old one and nothing in here has been arranged. So, in the meantime, I ask you to venture a guess at which of the following sofas we chose. Our sofa is below, but know that monitors and colors are not always accurate.

So, dear reader, how predictable are we? Which do you think we chose and why? Which would you have chosen?

One?

Two?

Three?

Four?

"Taking it Easy"

2010-10-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

We have had a crazy, crazy week-plus. I do mean crazy! Consider: three at the doctor (at once!), croup+double ear infection, the kids' first football game, out of town two separate nights, a charity banquet, speech therapy, a wedding shower, staying up until three am to get ready for the shower, an awful allergy attack turned sinus infection, on-call for jury duty, a luncheon, Bible Study, Church, 7+ hours on the road . . . . and now a peculiar rash on J that will take us to the pediatrician this afternoon.

Usually three kids is enough busy-ness for us and we do not schedule very much else, so this was unbelievable. I've been "under-the-weather" since Sunday night with one of the worst allergy attacks of my life now turned sinus infection that is just wiping me out. I've been trying to take it easy, but am humored by what that looks like compared to my child-free days.

Sick as a child/teen meant bed/tv/chicken and stars soup with saltines and being tucked in by Mama. (And missing school!)

Sick in college meant missing some school, and toughing it out alone in my dorm/apartment/house with a Pride and Predjudice marathon and most likely minestrone soup. Of course there were times when I still had to work through the blech--no fun.

Sick as a "young married" was probably the nicest circumstances although the worst illness to date (mono/strep for a month). It involved Pride and Prejudice, the Fellowship of the Ring, Mitford Books, baths, a cozy bed and Tuan cooking soups for me. : )

Sick as a Mom . . . . means trying to take it easy but not really because you can't really stop and sleep it away or take a hot bath or watch Pride and Prejudice for hours. Particularly when Tuan cannot get away, I am really on my own.

Sick as a Mom involves coloring at the table for an hour since it involves no movement and keeps the kids occupied. It means laying on the couch like a sack of potatoes while a Barney/Thomas/Backyardigans marathon plays, then falling asleep and suddenly waking up with a toddler "exploring in the kitchen and your four-year old in your face begging for milk. It involves barricading yourself and the kids in one bedroom so you can sleep while they play and bring you "spaghetti" and "coffee". It also means laundry, dishes, diapers, and scraping together meals, while letting other things slide.

I am not complaining (promise!), just contemplating. I am really, really thankful that this is only a mild affliction and I am able to move around and do a little. I am really, really thankful for proper, early bedtimes, a big bathrobe and Netflix in the evenings. And, I am really, really thankful for play-doh which is keeping the kiddos quite occupied and happy!

Airport Extreme

2010-09-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

We finally got a decent router that is reliable, fast and of this decade. The implication of this is that our computer that contains our photos is actually compatible with our router and this means I just might begin posting photos. I also just installed photoshop on our desktop which means that at some point the photos will be cleaned up and a bit prettier. For now, be content with these pretty faces!

Here are some of the latest of our kiddos:

I am guilty of taking a curling iron to my daughter's hair. It's an inherited sickness, but don't worry, you won't see us on Toddlers and Tiaras anytime soon!

I love this age and especially Mr. O's sweet smile!

Mr. J is four and so much fun. I absolutely love having a four year old!

Also, after a marvelous vacation and the jubilant consumption of carbs, sugar and I-know-not-while in FL I am back on the low carbohydrate bandwagon. The results have been so encouraging and I am at this sort of milepost that I really want to cross. I am eating a few more carbs just for liveability's (not a real word) sake and while I love the results of this, I truly despise not having certain carbs. It is funny because Tuan and I are sort of opposite in what we miss. But enough of that. I have found a few consolations and one is this weird combination of things in my coffee!

Coconut Milk
Heavy Cream
a wee bit of Palm Sugar

It's almost a meal and is so amazingly good! I am allowing myself Palm Sugar in coffee because coffee without sugar doesn't seem worth the drinking. Coffee with fake sugar is worse than no coffee and life with no coffee is terrible with three under four. Anyway, I highly recommend this combo!

The Dining Room

2010-09-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

I took these photos right before Mr. O was born and things have changed a bit, but the Dining Room is my favorite room in the house! In this room we eat, create, school, play music, make messes . . . The photos are dreadful and all had very reddish tints which I tried to fix, but really should have just re-taken them! Our Dining Room is the design jumping off point for the rest of the downstairs which has yet to be reconciled. Enjoy the tour!

This is looking into the dining room from our living room. Our table was rescued from a dumpster! We re-painted it several times (it had a butcher block top) and settled on black. I really like it because it is so sturdy and indestructible!
The chairs we found after quite a search--they are rental/ballroom chairs and we bought them second-hand from a rental company. I love the style and small scale--we can fit more folks around the table! We ended up buying ten chairs for when we have crowds and in case one breaks. The extras are hanging in our storage room. Eventually I'd like to re-cover the cushions. Our piano came from a junk store located between Lookout Mountain and Mentone. We somehow fit it into our LandCruiser! It was maple-ish until we painted it. The "art pieces" are vintage record albums that we switch out occasionally.

This corner borders the living room and kitchen. I am not crazy about the cabinet as it is, but is super useful for storage. Tuan built this out of some louvered doors my dad had leftover from a job and some scrap plywood. Art stuff, sewing supplies, gift wrap and I know not what fill this cabinet. This corner is the only part of the room I am not sure about. I think I'd rather have a desk or something--any suggestions?

My favorite wall! Our other house had so much white in it that we were just craving color! This is a bit more florescent than intended but I LOVE the cheeriness of this wall. We do have a solemn rule that you DO NOT TURN ON THE FLORESCENT light fixture unless a dire need exists because this green does not do well under such scrutiny! The lovely pink (and it is pink) buffett/sideboard was formerly our changing table. Tuan built it (recognize a trend, here?). I keep our homeschooling stuff in here and underneath are three bins (theoretically one for each kid's toys, but that's not always the reality!). My lamps came from Dirt Cheap.

The curtains! We were on a desperate hunt for something affordable to make colorful curtains and ended up in the shower curtain aisle at Target and fell in love with these shower curtains. I lined them and added a white border to the bottom. (Ha! Something I did instead of Tuan) They are hanging on flimsy hardware until Dirt Cheap produces something appropriate.

And last, the inside of the craft cabinet. It's usually more junky than this. Hope you enjoyed our Dining Room tour! I am terrible about photo posting so I hope this makes [Elizabeth] happy!

ps. I hope it is just my monitor, but these photos are ghastly! What better excuse to come by in person!

Puttin' on the [denim] Jumper

2010-09-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

Figuratively speaking, of course! Miss A actually has one which I suppose makes us qualify as authentic homeschoolers!

We have begun our home school-preschool this fall. ("Home-school-pre-school has the same syllables as Miley Cyrus' song, "Hoe-down Throw-down" . . . I sense a parody and disclaimer: I only know this song because it is played fifteen times a day at camp)

Did I digress? Oh, yes.

So we began our home schooling journey this year. Although J is only four and A two-and-a-half, I thought that perhaps beginning on a small scale this year would be easier than jumping into it head over heels for Kindergarten or (augh) 1st grade! Three to four mornings a week J, A, and I gather at the table for about an hour's worth of "school." They are loving it and so am I!

I had no expectations--high or low--and am glad we are taking baby-steps, but they come running when I say it is time for school and we have a good time of it.

I polled several folks about their curriculum choices and ended up choosing a mostly free program that my mom already had on hand. It is called Sing, Spell, Read and Write. We are loving SSRW. They like the repetition of it and it has been amazing to see J's progress and ability to absorb things! Ideally, after twenty-six lessons we'll beginning pairing phonics sounds and be on our way to reading. It will be interesting to see if J is ready for that next step or just ready to go back through the alphabet.

We start our time with catechism review, then move onto our A-Z Theology (only word I can think of) book that goes through the different attributes of God. We do whatever letter we are studying that day. The kids are very funny with the catechism. Miss A frequently grabs the book and asks us the "questions" and praises us heartily and in a cheerily chirpy voice when we answer.

We then move onto SSRW. A gets a hand-drawn copy of the main letter page and it's corresponding picture which she works at diligently, then cuts up and glues back together. Consequently at the end of the day when we proudly hang up their schoolwork, J's looks like a respectable first-born four year olds' school work, while A's is more like an abstract, mutilated, multi-coloured, exclamation. J gets a bit put out when she gets started and I just have to remind him that he is a scholar and she is an artist.

While A is creating, Mr. J and I work at our different lesson worksheets. We review the sound of the letter, then there is a page of practice lettering and a multiple-choice cutting/pasting elimination excercise and finally a connect-the-dots. Our last project is piling into the car to listen to the audio cassette of the alphabet song. They love the novelty of getting into the car to finish our day. I think it would be nice to have a tape player inside the house!

It is neat how Miss A is learning by osmosis and how much J can handle. I am so thankful God has given us a good start to our year(s) of school.

Family Date Night!

2010-09-16T18:49:00.001-07:00

Every so often Tuan and I will be laying around the house between the hours of four and five. He, just returned from work, and I, zonked out from the day will collapse in the living room with zero motivation for supper or cooking. ( I am blessed to have a husband who cooks, too!) These are the sorts of evenings when we end up going into town for supper and often to run errands--with all the kids.

Dates with the two of us are few and far between, for various reasons, and we treasure them when they come. But, there is a terrific, wonderful refreshing time to be had out on the town with all the kids in tow. A change of pace, a breath of fresh air. Time to talk in the car and not cook or clean up supper. Sometimes it's Mexican and Wal-mart, other times Chik-fil-A and Target. Oh, and Bass Pro at Christmas!

We really enjoy our kids--'specially when we're together! I'm so glad we take them places and do things. It is usually pretty successful and fun. I hope this establishes a pattern of "family time" that continues through adolescence and adulthood.

A Very Great Struggle

2010-09-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

We have frequently sung this wonderful hymn: "Father I Know that All my Life" at FPC. I have grown to love this song and one line that our pastor frequently points out is this:

A life of self-renouncing love
is one of liberty.

Yikes. Stab me in the heart there. From the first night we held little J in our arms and continuing onward, I have struggled so hard with selfishness, with giving up my wants, my desires. I remember being awake in the middle of the night--in our hospital room--trying to nurse J and wanting to go to sleep. I looked over at my husband who was peacefully snoring away and I wanted more than anything to KICK him. Yes, it took my all to not kick my sleeping husband.

It was something to grapple with before kids, but on a MUCH lesser scale. Sure, I often had to struggle to put my needs aside for Tuan's or during camp there would be times where I struggled with giving up my wants. On a daily basis, however, I was pretty much on my own and dwelling in comfortable solitude and self-indulgence. Now, hourly I am pulled in many directions. From the moment my eyes open until my head hits the pillow (and often many times after) someone, somewhere in this house is needing me, wanting me, calling me.

Life with three is not as hard as it could be. I am thankful for "schedules" and fairly content children. But it is hard. Housework is unending. Little souls need their love buckets filled, their needs met--and they don't observe the clock. Some days I desperately crave sleep and it doesn't happen. Yesterday was one of them. I had just fallen asleep for that Sacred Sunday nap and J came in our room and woke me up. I was ugly, impatient and sent him back to his room. At that point, sleep was over, but an ill spirit and sinful attitude were just beginning.

Do you ever just want to wallow in your self-pity, anger and sinfulness? I do.

By God's grace, I decided to get up and take J for a walk so Tuan could have some peace and quiet. We went over to camp and played and walked and explored for well over an hour. It was so much fun and refreshing--and he NEEDED that quality time.

A life of self-renouncing love is one of liberty.

I think this is going to be a life-long lesson--one that constantly unfolds.

When I was a counselor we had one evening off a week. It lasted about four hours and that was our only off-time. When our activity ended and our campers were at the tree house we were free to go. I, however, worked at the ropes course--which never ended on time and I was a tractor driver. I remember one evening I was ferrying kids from the ropes course and literally seeing my off-time dwindle away with each trip. On the way back to ropes I was thinking about how much of MY time was diminishing and like a bolt of lightning it hit me: IT WAS NEVER "MY" TIME IN THE FIRST PLACE. All that I was, all that I possessed belonged to God (including my time). Realizing that was absolutely liberating. I couldn't be selfish with my time because it didn't belong to me to begin with. It belonged to Him.

It is easy to be free with someone else's possessions, money, time because it is not yours. The same thing applies to us. Our talents, time, things all belong to him and realizing that gives great liberty (and great responsibility). That moment changed me and really affected the rest of my summer--for the good.

I have to constantly re-learn these truths. It is not fun, nor easy, but good.

A life of self-renouncing love is one of liberty . . .

Best $9.00 I "Ever" Spent

2010-09-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

(this image courtesy of Macys.com . I do not go about pouring fancy bottled water upon my mattresses)

When we bought Miss A's new mattress, I went out and bought several bedding items and a cheap waterproof mattress cover was one of them. Many times over I am so thankful I purchased this! Every time a diaper overflows or sippy cup spills and I begin the arduous process of washing bed linens, I am so grateful that I don't have to spend more time deodorizing or cleaning a mattress. If you have wee ones and are upgrading from the conveniently waterproof crib mattress, don't hesitate to buy one! I use a mattress pad over the waterproof cover and it prevents things from being "sweaty", or, "glowy" if you are a southern female.

brick wall/waterfall

2010-08-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today I was super productive between eight o'clock and ten thirty. Then I hit that brick wall of fatigue and inability to decide what to do next. Rather than taking a permissive, indulgent break, I just sort of puttered all over the place and kept trying to do things ineffectively. But, my freezer is full of barley and chickpeas so that should count for something!

Twisted Sense of Housework

2010-08-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

Some people (of a far more sensible head-on-straight breed) mop their floors regularly or before company comes. I, on the other hand, tend to think: Company is coming. Why should I mop the floors when they are just going to get messsy? Silly, but it sure decreases the frequency of mopping! The exception is when my Vietnamese mother-in-law is coming. I just have to mop then!

dare I say it?

2010-08-11T21:55:00.001-07:00

You know how sometimes you're afraid to say something for fear of jinxing yourself? Those knock on wood type of things--although rationally you know life doesn't work like that, irrationally you feel otherwise? That's how I am feeling these days.
Since June I've been doing lo-carb, no sugar and have lost twenty pounds, give or take a few. Gulp. There, I've said it. It's been hard, hard, hard to give up sugar, and almost as hard to give up tortilla chips and beans. The results, however are worth it. My weight it less than it was before I had Johnny and I have dropped a pants size and a bit more.
I love carbs and sugar and my body does not do well with them--it has been good to break away and while I will not bid farewell forever to such delights, I hope to one day return to them in a more sensible, less dependent, more infrequent manner.
I don't think those things are evil (why would God have promised a land flowing with milk and honey if they were?), but for right now it is better for my body to abstain.
This week, now that we are recovered from camp and all it's craziness, I am adding in more intentional excercise. Twenty more pounds to go. The additional benefit is that berries have never tasted more amazing--cantelope, too.
Saying it out loud in bloggy-land makes it more real and me more accountable. Would you pray for continued grace to do this?

The days are long . . .

2010-07-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

Now that camp is over, I have no idea what to do with the kids all day. I am planning to order some curriculum and start pre-school with them in the fall, but right now, in the transition period, I am wracking my brain over how to fill the hours without destroying the house at the same time. We need a tighter, more planned schedule, but this is still transition time and it would be difficult to start that now. So, here I sit, waiting for special season to end and looking forward to the time when Tuan comes home from work around 4:30/5:00 rather than eight or nine. We've been in camp mode for eleven weeks and while it has been mostly wonderful and good, I am looking forward to a return to the still wonkety, but more predictable normal.

Make this dip!

2010-07-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

I swoon over this dip. If you are avoiding gluten or carbs and are a bit fearful of plastic cheeses (aka Velveeta), this is an excellent substitute! I serve with corn chips and have recently used Oopsie Rolls. (Google this!)

I lb. good ground breakfast sausage (get the good stuff!)
2 Blocks Cream Cheese
I can Ro-tel

Brown your sausage and dice it into small pieces, drain excess grease. In a saucepan or mini-crockpot, combine sausage, Ro-tel with juice and cream cheese. Warm until cream cheese is melted.

In Which I Attempt to Sweep

2010-07-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

There's this advice column/article circulating around Facebook in which a woman without children gripes about how "busy her stay at home mom friend seems to be and how she never has time for her and what could she possibly do all day?" She said something along the lines of, "I work all day and still manage to clean up my house and take care of things." The columnist responds with a vigorous defense of the SAHM and naturally all the mothers who are reading and circulating this on FB do so with cheering and "hear-hears".

It is hard to explain what we do all day and why we are so tired that a nap is often so necessary. Frankly, there are up days and down days and up hours and down hours. There are times when I can get so much done in an hour that I wonder what I do with my time. Then there are mornings like this.

Today actually started well. The baby woke up and ate a little before seven, I had my quiet time and crashed back in the bed with him beside me so as to not disturb J. When J did wake up at 8:15, we got up, dressed, cleaned his room up, woke up A, cleaned her room, learned about stacking books so you could see the spine, then the baby woke up and I made my bed and we all headed downstairs with a load of laundry. Good start, yes? We ate breakfast, got the living room picked up and vacuumed--by 9:30. At nine thirty, I decided to give the house a good sweeping--this is the kind of sweeping that involves moving chairs around--so I turned on a thirty-minute TV show for the kids, settled O on his playmat and began to sweep--

1. Realized the playmat needed batteries and I had some! Changed batteries.
2. Began stacking chairs to sweep.
3. Started picking up doo-dads in dining room and putting them away.
4. Baby starts crying--time to eat!
5. Stop the show, and hustle kids onto porch so I can feed the baby and keep the kids from using up the TV time.
6. Feed baby, who soon loses interest.
7. Make J clean up his toys he brought outside, bring kids back in, restart movie
8. Spray off table with my helper, A
9. Sweep dining room floor.
10. Baby crying-ready to eat now!
11. Feed baby
12. Change diaper, put him down.
13. Help A use potty, throw away diaper and toss her dirty shorts in laundry.
14. Empty dryer, start a load of wash, realize that I really need to unload/load dishwasher and wipe the counters before I sweep the kitchen
15. J starts crying--he got hurt and needs some cuddling.
16. We cuddle for about five minutes, then realize I need to start another show if I'm ever going to get the floor swept.
17. Realize I'm hungry and eat a piece of brisket.
18. Empty bathroom garbage
19. Load/unload dishwasher
20. Send now stir-crazy kids outside to play
21. Wipe counters
22. Put away junk
23. Sweep the kitchen floors!

One hour and fifteen minutes later, I finished sweeping the floors. I had this great expectation of knocking it all out and we'd go do something fun like pick blueberries this morning. Not so, Joe! Maybe this afternoon, since we all went down for rest/naps an hour and a half earlier than normal!

One last thing. I've been so convicted about balancing the need for housework with taking care of my children and spending time with them. This poem keeps popping up in places and I cry every time I read it! First, because it makes me think of Granny and secondly, because it reminds me how swift these days are flying!

Song for a Fifth Child

By Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Vigorous Women

2010-07-15T20:24:00.001-07:00

I am a blog junkie. I love looking into the lives of other women and seeing/reading about how their homes are run, what their daily life is like and the choices they make. As a mother of three under four, I am especially encouraged by those women who are a few years ahead of me with children close together like mine. Some days around here are comparatively easy, but many are hard. It gives me hope to see the potential fruit of my labors via their stories. It makes me look forward to each stage encourages me to see their industry and humbles me, too!

Some of these women are so vigorous and industrious. I have pictures in my head of them birthing a baby and then proceeding onward to canning and a quick homeschooling session--in one day. So not real, I'm sure. Right? Please tell me no one is that amazing?!

It's also easy to fall prey to the illusions of blogging. So many times we only see the good and I've always, always struggled with self-comparison. (She's got this, they do that, her way is much better than mine, why can't I have that gift?). I've been very convicted lately about being more concerned about what others think than what the Lord does. Reading through Daniel, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther and Job has reminded me that living a life that pleases Him is much more important than the fear of man.

Happy Fourth of July! (or, pause-hold up! I'm posting a photo!)

2010-07-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

I am so terribly lazy about putting up photos on our blog. I never want to take the time and prefer to rapidly type my thoughts out and move on with life. But I do realize that most people prefer pictures over words, so here we are! We took this on vacation in Florida and not one photo had us all looking at the camera and smiling. This confirms my suspicion that we may never do foreign missions as we will never ever be able to take the obligatory missionary photo. As we started to take the picture, Tuan suddenly looked at our clothes and said, "Hey, wait a minute, are we taking a Fourth of July picture?" Yes, dear, you caught me in the act. Happy Fourth, everyone!

Help! I need somebody!

2010-06-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

Would someone please come and tell me what is wrong with my house and help me make decisions? I am so all over the place and like too many thing. Do I paint my end tables black or keep some brown in my living room? What do I recover my chair in? Do I really want a sectional? What is my decorating style? Please, someone, help me. (I guess it would help if I posted pictures . . . )

Life in La Land from A-Z

2010-06-26T20:48:00.000-07:00

A-My sweet A and I had a girl's day of shopping and running errands. We so rarely have just girl time--it was a fun day!

B-Our first year to have an abundant basil crop! We are enjoying it very much!

C-Camp is just as much a time of growth and challenges and joy as it ever was--and I'm not even on staff!

D-I sure do wish we had a dog. : ( Unfortunately it is against the rules . . .

E-Eggplant, the. That's what we call our oddly-colored Sienna. It does not qualify as a Swagger Waggon

F-Tuan went fishing and caught some bream which he grilled instead of fried. They were some of the best fish I've ever eaten.

G-Giggling over this YouTube video about "Flea Market/Montgomery/It's Just Like a Mini-Mal"l. Watch the video and then go to a furniture store. Kind of like Napoleon Dynamite: you'll laugh later.

H-I'm thankful for the Children's Hospital and the great care baby O received there and even more thankful to not be there!

I-I love pens with thick, flowing ink!

J-Our J turned four in May. He is a delight. This week, we had a babysitter for an afternoon and took him to play at camp with just mommy and daddy. He was so excited and got to do the ropes course for the first time!

K-The Kammers are some of my favorite people! I've gotten to spend time with Christina and Ashleigh these past two weeks--always a treat!

L-the Living Room is the center of my decorating obsession these days . . .

M-My sister Melissa had gallbladder surgery and I'm so glad she is doing well!

N-Netflix Instant Streaming has been so much fun. The astounding number of movies you can watch on it are astounding.

O-Baby O is recovering well and such a fun baby. He blabbers and drools and stares intently at things. We are enjoying him so much.

P-My husband, Kevin and Aubrey have done a fabulous job with the camp program! The lion's den and fiery furnace are unbelievably realistic!

Q-Quiet Time at our house is a blessing, indeed!

R-Ribs are one of the most amazing foods ever and Rind-On bacon is weird. I'll be sure to not buy that next time.

S-Sugar. I'm completely off of sugar and starches indefinitely. It's been a challenge and there have been lots of temptations, but I feel great! (now that I've detoxed)

T-Tomatoes--in season tomatoes are so delectable!

U-"Uh, what!?" my reaction when I awoke during naptime to find one of our neighbor's kids in our hallway.

V-The Victorian Veronica couch by Bernhardt --I think I've found my couch!

W-My brother, Warren is turning sixteen on Monday--I cannot believe he's that old!

X-X-rays are expensive.

Y-Yes to the Dress-I am utterly addicted to that show and have been watching it on Netflix.

Z-Last week during day camp we had a petting Zoo come for a visit! The kids were enchanted with the baby monkey who wore a diaper. I liked the baby yak!

My Place in this World

2010-06-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I keep hoping I'll find some magical resource for being a camp spouse, you know, "confessions of a camp wife" or something like that. This is my twentieth summer of camping--wow--and I find that "the same old struggles that plagued me then are plaguing me still." Where do I fit? What is my role? Why can't I do job x instead of my own? Contentment in what God has called me (not others) to do is an annual struggle.

Last year was a celebration of relief at not having tons of responsibility at camp. I still lived in the "gates" and was mobile with only two toddlers. This year, I'm a bit further from the epicenter of fun and chaos, I have two ramblers and a baby who is most satisfied and happy at home. This year has been harder in terms of not being involved--because I LOVE to be involved. I also have so much camp in my blood that it is absolutely instinctual to see things and want to fix them. So, I'm learning, struggling, grappling with this new role: how do I best serve my husband? what do my kids need most? what should I really be doing? what parts of the day are the best for us to be involved and what parts aren't?

I'm realizing the benefits of being at home during camp and all the possibilities abounding. The kids are sleeping late which gives me quiet time in the morning. There are no meals to cook, so there is a lot less daily work. My kids LOVE to be outside and I can use their outside time to tackle projects and painting. Right now it seems that the evenings may be our best time to be out and about rather than mornings when quiet behavior is required at assemblies. : ) If I can care for the kids, be cheerful for my husband and make home pleasant for him, then I really am being useful and purposeful at camp. The rest is but icing on the cake and I've certainly been blessed with those bonuses, too these past few days. It's been a tough lesson to learn and I'm grateful for the encouragement, wisdom and experience of those gone before me.

Week one is nearly down. Six more to go!

Strange Things are Happening to Me.

2010-06-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

In recent times I've noticed that I derive great pleasure from things I NEVER expected to produce such satisfaction. For example, when Mr. O was around three weeks old, I had to wake up around four or five to feed him and afterwards realized that 1. I needed to go to the grocery, 2. going back to bed was fruitless and, 3. I did not want to grocery shop with all three kids. So, at six in the morning, I left the house with Tuan and the kids still asleep and went to Wal-mart, Kroger, and Sams. I used a coupon on groceries and treated myself to coffee. I was able to shop at Sam's in near solitude at 7:20 in the morning with no lines and got home before nine. It was the equivalent of a spa treatment. I was totally refreshed.

Even stranger (for me) is the complete satisfaction derived from having my floors vacuumed/swept and the tables and counters cleared off and sink empty. It makes me sort of delight within. I never think it would happen! Today, for example, our camp sitter took the big kids for two hours and in fifty minutes time I had the downstairs cleaned. The satisfaction of the job completed was marvelous, but more so was the fact that I got to do it alone with NO INTERRUPTIONS and the house was QUIET! It was utterly refreshing and I was totally ready for them to come home and had energy. Crazy.

Dear Mr. Looney Bin director

2010-05-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

I will be arriving sooner than expected. I thought my children were going to drive me there, but instead the millipedes will be. Sincerely, me.

A New Way of Looking

2010-05-08T17:24:00.000-07:00

Matthew 18:
15"If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

This semester, in my weekly Bible study we studied Biblical Peacemaking. Although I was out for much of it, one aspect of the study really stuck with me. It was on the scripture quoted above. Apparently I'd never read that part very closely because I'd always viewed peacemaking as the responsibility of the offending party and the victim as being passive--just sitting on the tuffet, waiting for reconciliation. Upon reading it, I was struck by the pro-active role the victim/offended should take in resolving the matter. If I've been sinned against, if I've been hurt, I have the responsibility of going to the person who caused the hurt. No sitting around having a pity party if I cannot overlook the sin.

Anecdotally this was brought home as I remembered a situation in my own life. I had a friend in college who I unknowingly offended. We were friends after the fact and I never knew I had hurt her until years later when another friend had just learned about it and told me. It was obvious even years later that she had not forgotten the injury and was still nursing the hurt. I, on the other hand, had gone on about life blissfully unaware that I had wronged her. Although it was unintentional and obviously not realized on my part, had she only told me years ago, I could have explained, we would have been reconciled (Lord-willing ) and she would not have spent the last seven years of so holding onto that grudge.

As I've been mulling over this, I have been doing some self-examination. Have I been hurt or sinned against in a way that I cannot overlook? Do I need to talk to anyone? I almost hesitate to share this for fear of all the folks I've offended coming out of the woodwork to let me know so we can reconcile! I really don't want to confront anyone who may have hurt me--it's so nice and "easy" to feed that demon weed grudge, but my goodness, how different would the church look if we were pro-active (and humbly gracious) about dealing with hurt and sin in this way?

One Of Our New Meals--a Favorite!

2010-04-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

No pictures, sadly. The food did not last that long! This was super easy, fast and delicious!

Fried Salmon Croquettes
Wasabi Dipping Sauce (mayo, sour cream. wasabi, soy sauce)
Fresh Avocado
Carrots and purple onions sauteed in coconut oil with a drizzle of sesame oil

My one-handed typing skills are improving. I might even write that book, soon!

Time Was Once a Friend to Me

2010-04-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

What is getting done:
baby and childcare
sparse quiet time
dishes
our bed made
occasional naps
laundry washed, then washed again because I never put it in the dryer
approximately one chore per day

What needs to be done:
More deliberate quiet time
Hair brushed
Laundry completed and put away
bathrooms cleaned
floor mopped
more time with big kids ("school")
Fridge and freezer cleaned out
Thank you notes

What I Really Want to Do:
Massage/body scrub at Aqua
Baby holding
Couponing
Read Practical Religion
Sew curtains and Aubrey clothes and cute bibs
Paint!
Go running
Sleep all night, wake up and go right back to sleep
Breakfast at Broad Street with Tuan
thrift store hopping
Cook
Re-arrange furniture
Be Outside
Do "school" with J

Notes on the Pork Belly

2010-04-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Some time back I wrote of Tuan's aspirations for making his own bacon. I am pleased to report success! We watched Alton Brown make bacon, then consulted several sources online. Tuan decided a warm smoking method was what he wanted to use. Using a gift card and some extra funds, we purchased a smoker, then went in pursuit of a source for pork belly.

Fortunately, Crystal Springs has a slaughterhouse/butcher market called Wilson's. It was a fun trip for the boys and I let them go without Aubrey and I. Even a clean butcher shop would have offended my then 35/36 week preggo sensibilities! Over seven days, Tuan carefully rubbed the pork with salt and finally smoked it.

The results: pretty good! It was a bit saltier than we would have chosen, but the saltiness actually keeps us from overindulging. It's a fantastic complement to grits, eggs, pimiento cheese and the like. Knowing that it is free of "other" stuff like sodium nitrate is wonderful! We also had plenty of salt pork and "cracklins" to stock our freezer with. I've been adding the salt pork to the purple hull peas Tuan also picked up at Wilson's and made some cracklin' bread a few times. Also, because the pork was smoked using heat, it is cooked through and I don't have to panic and fastidiously wash my hands when cooking with it. I am OCD about kitchen germs and not much else. : )

We are reading through Little House in the Big Woods and I have to say I felt a certain kinship with the Ingalls family as I read about their own salting and smoking of meat.

Something Tells Me We are Gonna be Friends . . . . (Or, I Wish We Were!)

2010-04-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

So . . . these "crazy" newborn days have been very interesting as of late. Not so much the newborn part, but a side effect of having a newborn is that six to eight times a day, I find myself sitting for a good hour, taking care of infant feeding needs. Since much of this time has been in the night, during naptimes or when the two older tots are in the care of others, I have spent a lot of time reading blogs. Not so strange in itself, but I wanted to share how God has used this time to meet two strong needs/longings I've had lately:

1. Although we live at a place where so many go to "retreat", we don't "retreat" here. This is where we live, parent, work--yes, we do LOVE being out here, but it's not the same sort of experience that our guests enjoy. There have been many times when I sort of wistfully gaze at groups (particularly PCA women's groups) and wish that I could go on a "retreat", too! I long for that time away to saturate in the Word, and be encouraged through fellowship.

2. I have also been missing the close mentorship of several friends I've had through the years. You know, those families who you just admire so much and enjoy being with their families and seeing how they do things? I've also been missing the fellowship and wisdom of older women (Titus 2) that I have had in the past. Some time back, I was at Gracie's house for a shindig and her mother and mother-in-law were there. I could have sat for hours and listened to them talk and share about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! I realized then, how hungry I was for that.

So, back to this past week, I somehow stumbled across this blog called, "Preschoolers and Peace" it's a combination blog and ministry of this mother of eight who home schools her kids ages 1-16. She shares their life as well as how she runs her home, teaches her kids, trains them and handles being a mom of eight. I cannot tell you all how encouraging it was to read her blog through the archives (yes, I read almost every post--but I read very, very fast). It was like having that intense time of fellowship and observation I'd been longing for. I wasn't far into her blog before I began to have the inkling that, "these people have got to be Presbyterian/reformed--but not in a crazy way"--and I was right! As I was reading, I found that her dentist-husband has a blog and he is a HOOT to read. Reading them side-by-side has been so fun. His blog is called the Mango Times.

So, I highly recommend these blogs for those of you who are struggling with toddlers and preschoolers or home schooling or in need of a belly laugh (the Husband's blog is cracking me up!) I have been so refreshed and motivated with ideas that I need to implement with Johnny and Aubrey, but I've also been terribly encouraged to spend more time in the word and pursue a gospel-oriented life rather than a lifestyle-motivated one. I so wish these folks lived in Mississippi rather than California, because I would cease to be a blog stalker/lurker and probably show up at their house the next time they had a shindig--I wish we were friends! If you do begin reading it let me know what you think.

Update on Owen

2010-04-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

Thank you all so much for your prayers for Owen. We had our appointment with the neurologist yesterday. He said 99.9% of the time this is more of a skeletal issue than a brain issue and is fairly certain that Owen falls into the 99.9%. His particular condition was described as "moderate". While his brain can develop fine with this, he would have an odd-shaped head. This makes the procedure cosmetic, but we feel like proceeding with the surgery is the wise decision, especially with him being a boy and (Lord-willing!) having short hair.

Dr. Hanigan said that the the most common complication with the surgery is blood loss, requiring transfusion, but that recovery was swift. He hopes to do the surgery between 2 and 3 months. We are scheduled to to a CAT scan next Monday and meet with him again the next week. We really like Dr. Hanigan and felt very comfortable talking things over with him. I am nervous about putting our baby under anesthesia, but know that in ALL things God is sovereign--and trustworthy! We'd appreciate your continued prayers as we move forward with this.

quotes to remember

2010-04-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

From this article:http://triviumpursuit.com/articles/ten_to_do_before_ten.php

Reading aloud is my favorite part of homeschooling. How many others have had this experience: I am sitting on the couch (a chair would never do) reading a good book, such as Men of Iron by Howard Pyle. One child sits on my right, and one child sits on my left, and one child sits on the back of the couch behind my neck, and one child sits on my lap. The fifth child has to make do. Everyone must to be situated, just so, in order to see all of the pictures — which must be examined minutely before the page is turned. This is one of the ways God taught me patience. Let them look at the pictures and ask their questions. We will eventually find out who wins the joust. Last year, my oldest daughter, Johannah, painted this cosy scene for us, collaging photos from long ago, putting us all into one memorable picture. I was wearing braids and sitting on that old brown couch which long ago met the rubbish pile after much good use. If I could have just an hour of that time again, right now, I would gladly read Corduroy fifteen times in a row and not complain.

and:

In families where peace reigns, we notice that the children have respect for Father and Mother. You can see it in their faces. The children want to please their parents. They know Father is in charge, and they look to him for answers. Father knows what is best. They know that their mother controls the household to serve their father, and they understand that father rules the family to serve the Lord. When children are made to understand the order and purpose of things, and they live out their role in that order and purpose — that is peace. Of course, wise parents rule and control their family and household with kindness and gentleness and tender loving care. They are fallen creatures themselves, and are not always wise. But the more the family matches the ideal, the more peace reigns.

In families where peace does not reign, we notice that the children lack respect for the Father and Mother. They know that their parents are intent on pleasing them, and they use this as a manipulative tool. The household revolves around the child and his likes or dislikes, his moods, his desires. When the child is displeased, uncomfortable, or inconvenienced, the parents consistently go out of their way to please the child. They think their little child is so smart, or cute, or witty. In other words, the order and purpose and roles of this family are inverted, and anything which might resemble peace for a moment is just a temporary lapse in the ongoing war over who is in charge.

Contemplating

2010-04-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, "Go to that chariot and stay near it."
Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. "Do you understand what you are reading?" Philip asked.

"How can I," he said, "unless someone explains it to me?" So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:
"He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
Who can speak of his descendants?
For his life was taken from the earth."

The eunuch asked Philip, "Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?" Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.

Prayer Request

2010-03-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

The neonatologist had some concerns over the shape of Owen's head. He did an x-ray and found that the top plates of his head seem to have fused prematurely in one spot. Obviously, they still need to shift and expand as he grows, so on Monday we are going to see a pediatric neurosurgeon at UMC to do some further tests and see if they are truly fused. If they are, a "minor" surgery will be done and the plates will be separated again. Naturally, we are concerned because no surgery is minor when it involves your baby!

Tuan ran into our friend Jon Davis who is a neurosurgeon and asked him about this. Jon assured Tuan that this really is a simple sort of procedure so we are hopeful either way but would greatly appreciate all of your prayers!

The Birth Story

2010-03-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

This is the birth story. I am sharing it with the world, but you know, this is a birth story and birthing babies is not necessarily clean nor pleasant. Read at your own discretion!

My Mama always said, "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it." Over the past few days I've been laughing at the way the Lord answers our prayers by giving us what we want and then some.

When I saw Dr. Breeland on Thursday, she checked me and I was still 3cm. "You're not going to go anytime soon" she said, and asked to schedule an induction. I agreed since we'd be past the due date by then. I'd also been feeling very unwell and was feeling quite ready to have the baby. Before Dr. Breeland left the exam room I asked when I should come to the hospital (just in case, ya know). She said to come in at seven minutes apart--"we want you to make it on time and we don't want a Twin Lakes baby." (this is in reference to a baby born in the lodge many years ago on a rainy night during a women's retreat). She also said that she really didn't want my water to break while I was at home.

Off and on for days I'd have some contractions in a row. They were never regular, usually at night and while painful a tolerable pain. Every night I'd get a bit excited and then they'd stop.

Thursday night, we ate at out with Zack and Kristen and they started and stopped. Friday night, Matt and Virginia came over to play Killer Uno while they were hosting. I had several in a row and then they stopped.

Early on Friday I realized that I had lost my mucous plug. I was excited because I'd never had any signs of labor like that, yet I wasn't really hopeful about labor starting, either. We drank coffee that night while playing cards and went to bed wired. I took a bath and then a shower and Tuan and I were just kind of hanging out in the bed reading and talking. When we realized it was 1:40, we quickly turned the lights off and went to sleep. As I was drifting off I had another contraction and grabbed the cell phone so I could time them if they started up.

Around three, I woke up to a rather painful contraction and got up to use the bathroom. I realized I had had another ten minutes earlier and decided to time them. They were five -/+minutes apart then (3:00/3:08/3:12/3:19). Around then, I decided to finish packing the bag "just in case" and then one hit that HURT. I went over to Tuan and woke him up. "I'm having contractions, honey, they are close together, just so ya know." He mumbled and rolled over. I went back into the closet and decided to put some clothes on. Then a second PAINFUL one hit.

"Tuan! I think you need to get dressed, babe!" He jumped up and started dressing. I called my practice and was put on hold. Then one hit and I dropped to the floor by the bed while Tuan took the phone. The fact that I was banging my head against the bed while on all fours convinced him and the on-call nurse that it was indeed time to go.

I was trying to find a jacket before we went downstairs and Tuan was like, "Paula, you don't need your jacket, let's get in the car." Our neighbor Andrew, and Virginia were coming over (thank goodness Virginia was here!). They were around four minutes apart at that point so I had these moments of lucidity and pain free bliss in which I would get distracted. I was using the bathroom, getting water, grabbing a hair brush and lotion all the while Tuan was propelling me out the door.

We got in the car and left TL and they hit four minutes apart. This was around 3:40. Tuan was driving rather speedily and when we hit Florence they were three minutes apart. I learned quickly that the best way to cope with this pain was to scream loudly and primal. You know the "barbaric yawp?" That worked for me.

He ran red lights and hit 90 as we rushed towards the River Oaks. When we pulled into the parking lot around four am, they were at two and a half. We had to stop in the parking lot and I hung onto him for one. Then at the door, he called to be let in while I was wailing and screaming in the background. The security guard got me a wheelchair (God bless him, I couldn't stand up anymore) and Tuan wheeled me upstairs. When we got to the nurses' desk I was in-between contractions so they asked for my card and ID. I gave them my Sam's card in confusion and then one hit and I let out my barbaric yawp. Tuan said all the nurses immediately jumped up and went running.

"We'll check you in later", someone said, and I was being wheeled straight to a room that was quickly filling up with nurses. They got me into a gown and I went to pee. Had two contractions in the bathroom and almost refused to get off the toilet I was in so much pain. They somehow got me to the bed and started all the stuff they needed to do. Contractions were two minutes apart then and I was screaming and asking for an epidural.

"9 cm" no epidural. "Page the doctor right now." As luck would have it, the doctor wasn't there. Seriously!? I needed to push.
They started monitoring and realized that every time I screamed I was taking away oxygen from the baby. "Breathe, Paula, breathe" the chief nurse by the bed was saying. I had cotton mouth, was begging for ice and had a mask on.

In between one of those AWFUL contractions, I said, "I need to push!" The nurse said, "don't push, the doctor's not here." "YOU CAN CATCH A BABY!" I informed them. "Yes, but we're not supposed to, please wait!" (I was pushing a little bit each time--impossible not to)

I have to say in defense of the nurses, they were only covering their bums. I can understand that although they know how to do it all, they probably get grief when the doctor doesn't make it in time. Nevertheless, both they and I know that when your body is telling you to push that you have to push.

The nurse at that point was muttering off to the side, "where is she!? We don't need to know that she's coming, we need to know where she is!" How I heard her was beyond me. My bottom felt like it was on fire, I was trying desperately to breathe and not scream and the nurse told someone to call the ER doc and get him in there. At that point I pretty much rebelled against all rules and regulations and authority. Someone said, "she's in the elevator" and a contraction hit. I pushed as hard as I could and number three plopped out onto the table. Yes, he and I surprised the whole room. 4:41 pm.

The doctor ran into the room pretty much right after that. Providentially, they had not taken the bed apart or Owen would have landed on the floor. "I tried not to push" I said to head nurse. She said she was amazed that I made it that long.

I got pain medicine after it was all over and laying there in post-natural childbirth trauma that I wasn't planning on, they asked if I were getting my tubes tied. "YES, YES!" I wanted to cry out, no more childbirth for me ever! Fortunately Tuan was there to hold me back. : )

I have to say that while I have often (fleetingly) thought about natural childbirth, I'm pretty much an epidural kind of girl. I believe increased pain in childbirth is a result of the fall and that epidurals and pain medicine are truly a grace and a blessing. I had a friend (who'd never had a baby, but worked in the hospital) talk about how much better the "natural" women looked after birthing than the "epidural" women.

Boohonky.

This recovery has been a bit more difficult than the first two and I would never choose to go through this again. That said, I'm sure if labor had not come on so quickly that natural childbirth could have been a wonderful and lovely process--for someone else. I will leave picturing the "cervix opening like a flower" to a stronger and braver person.

So that's my long story of a short birth. In all, we started having contractions at 3:00 and he was born at 4:41. If the Lord blesses us with another baby I plan to check into the hospital at 38 weeks and as soon as the first real contraction hits, I will be asking for the epidural.

Our baby boy is beautiful and we are so grateful that he is doing well. I have a prayer request for him, but will share it in another post.

Making Plans and a Call for Ideas

2010-03-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

We are scheduled to induce on Tuesday if the baby does not arrive before then! I am having intermittent contractions that never hit sufficiently regularity or last long enough. (Does that wording make sense? I'm having trouble with the English language today.) I've hit this awful drought of energy. After Bible Study on Wednesday, I came home and crashed on the couch while Tuan got lunch together, then crashed in bed during naptime, then called Tuan around five and begged him to come home and take the kids and promptly crashed in bed again. Got up, ate supper (which he cooked) and then after the kids went to bed went back to sleep. Yesterday was a bit better since we had a doctor's appointment, but we ate lunch out, ate supper out and picked up lunch today. If I went to the grocery store, I'd have something easier to prepare than the roasts and frozen chicken and other items I keep neglecting to pull from the freezer in order to thaw, but I am also extremely lacking in energy. Folding up some clothes or running the vacuum is pretty much the exertion of the hour. Our bathroom really needs cleaning, but I keep hoping I'll just go into labor and it will be "magically" cleaned when we return home.

I had a bit of this when pregnant with A and felt so immensely better after she was born that I felt like I could conquer the world or at the very least rearrange furniture. I was still exhausted, but comparatively speaking, I had the energy of an eighteen year old!

So I'm thinking ahead about the post-baby days and need some meal ideas. Tuan is home every day for lunch and supper and I need some very easy suggestions for things to buy and keep that don't require lots of prep/cleanup and are somewhat nutritious. Frugality is out the window (or can be). I think the money saved from not eating out will easily justify boneless skinless chicken and whatnot. Suggestions? I perhaps have a chance to run to Sams and Kroger on Saturday or Monday.

Movie Time!

2010-03-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

I wish I could write that we never let our kids watch videos and that they didn't know what a TV was for . . . but that's not realistic and I'm so glad there are some good things out there that they can watch when need need them to be distracted. Currently, these are our favorites that both kids love:

*Babe
*Milo and Otis
*Toy Story
*Mary Poppins
*Robin Hood
*Berenstain Bears
*Bob the Builder
*Peter Pan
*Thomas the Tank Engine

They like some Veggie Tales and Johnny loves Cars. At Christmas time, Charlie Brown and the Claymation Christmas were huge hits. There are some movies, however, that we have learned they are NOT ready for:

*The Incredibles
*Finding Nemo
*Madeline (the live version)

I'm sure our choices could have a little more "Focus on the Family" in them, but Milo and Otis, Babe and Berenstain Bears are our top picks right now. Does anyone have suggestions for us?

One Eighty

2010-03-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Well, so much for all of that energy! The energy required for all this super-serious nesting is gone and while the desire is present the actual ability to do it all is gone. I could sleep late, get up, eat breakfast (more like elevenses), if I had my druthers and collapse again after lunch with not a smack of hesitation were it not for, you know--responsibility and little people under my care! I actually did that when pregnant with J, but the times they have a changed. I'm still a bit obsessed with the house, but it's a much slower process. This morning's housework required lots of stops and I was frankly relieved when A needed some rocking and J wanted some story telling!

We bought a van last week and are really enjoying it! Lisa, our camp registrar and all-around-wonderful person is married to Neil who really enjoys detailing cars and does a FABULOUS job. We hired him to detail the van and he totally wowed us. I had this weird aversion to driving the van until the previous owner's "cooties" were gone and now we are enjoying driving not only the newest vehicle we've ever owned, but the cleanest! The kids are learning that mama and daddy are a little bit obsessed about keeping the van clean!

We decided to keep the Land Cruiser and sell the Honda, which I already wrote about and the Honda was detailed by me last week. I don't mind detailing and cleaning my own dirt--just others'!

Tuan has been "nesting" in the yard and is feverishly working towards getting some grass planted. Our side yard has been this muddy bog of "chocolate milk" and he's put so much time and energy into digging and installing a french drain, amending the soil, grading the soil and doing everything in his power to help our yard drain and hopefully grow grass! I'm so proud of him and look forward to dealing with grass stains from our kids forays into the yard rather than caked on clay. : )

I saw the nurse practitioner last Friday since my Ob was on vacation. NPs are the best. They are so much more holistic about care and so personal. I love my Ob, don't get me wrong, but once it's time to deliver who my L&D nurse is is far more important to me. I had the same one with J and A and am praying that she'll be working when this one comes. I digressed a bit, but the whole point of this was that I made NO progress and was still 3 cm. Since then, I've had longer, more intense contractions, but nothing consistent. The NP said that my Ob will probably want to schedule an induction at this week's appointment. I'm okay with that because she induces on Tuesdays, usually, and I'll be past my due date then. Maybe it's an old wives tale, but most folks say that "little white boys" benefit from going full term more than other genders and races. Who knows, but expect number 3 to arrive no later than next Tuesday!

So, the bag is packed, we bought a new camera yesterday and the house is partially clean in some areas (I have this fear of going to the hospital with a messy house and returning home to a messy house). I'm going to keep slogging along this afternoon in hopes that any and all activity is bringing us closer!

The Word of the Day is "Detail" I shall use it in a Sentence.

2010-03-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am detailing the Honda today and getting it ready to sell. The weather is just perfect out here and the kids have been playing outside the last two hours. I was trying to let A skip her nap, but no such luck. We are taking an inside break and waiting for her to go to sleep so the detailing can continue. I hope I don't run out of steam before we go back out--it's starting to feel that way!

The Wind Out of Our Sails

2010-03-17T13:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I was an insane woman stubbornly determined to get 5,000 things done. The motto of the day could have been, "stay out of my way, get with the program, pick up that couch and no one gets hurt"! The living room was re-arranged, a love seat evicted from the house (Tuan was able to reason with me that we could just move it out and that a chain saw, followed by burning the said couch was unnecessary). I organized our armoire full of art and sewing and "school" supplies, made room in our bedroom for the crib and rocker, vacuumed the LR about seven times and after the kids went to bed mopped the floors. It felt so, so good to get all of that done.

Today, however, there is no wind in these sails. There is no organizational gleam in my eye. I woke up early, forced myself to stay awake for quiet time (reading and prayer), blogged and read blogs until the kids woke up. They had PBJs and watched the Berenstain Bears while I organized coupons. A "helped" me and had her own stash of expired coupons to sort. "I playin' the game!" she kept exclaiming. After a trip to Kroger, lunch on the road and a quick toss of the perishables in the fridge, all three of us went down for naps. That and putting away some clean clothes is the sum total of the day. I've been in bed since 1:15 and it is now 4:05. I desperately need to: Finish putting away groceries, locate a USB drive in Tuan's pant pockets so I can wash a load of clothes, put away dishes and empty the dishwasher, clean out a car, pack a hospital bag, put away some linens, get supper ready. Okay, not "desperately", perhaps more obligatorily. It's so much cosier to stay upstairs and pretend that a baby will not be arriving in hopefully a week and a half. Yes, the wind has left the building.

Also: why is it that when I let the kids eat a sandwich in the living room with a movie on that they are so, so much cleaner than at the table? We don't do it often, but its so nice to keep the DR clean for a meal. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Terribly Awkward

2010-03-16T21:15:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago, Tuan and I made plans to meet another couple, Matt and Sheila for lunch. I had an OB appointment scheduled after lunch, so I drove into town by myself. We'd planned to eat at Aladdin in Fondren, which is one of my favorite places to eat. Arriving early, I decided to go over to the Rainbow co-op to browse and get some tea tree oil. Since the earnest vibe of Fondren usually rubs off on me, I got the bright idea to leave my car parked at Rainbow and walk over to the restaurant. Aladdin's parking is so limited I figured I'd help them out and Tuan could run me back to the car after lunch.

Long boring back story aside, as I'm walking through the parking lot towards Old Canton Road, I realize there is a guy standing on the side of the busy street holding a sign. He was dressed in what looked like blue scrubs and wearing a mask. Since his back was to me, I had no idea what the mask was, but being in Fondren, I thought, "Oh no, this guy is probably an abortion protester and now I, with my huge pregnant belly am going to have to stand beside him and wait to cross this super busy street." I could actually see through the sign and the word choice was visible (albeit backwards). Whether he was protesting for or against abortion, it was just going to be awkward. Nevertheless, I kept walking and thought something along the lines of, "I will stand for truth and life and if he is pro-choice, this will be very interesting."

As I step up onto the sidewalk, I can finally see what the mask is and read the sign. The blue scrubs were a perfect companion to the GENIE mask that the guy waving a sign about making a choice to eat at Aladdin was wearing. It was awkward--just not in an important values kind of way. I had to stand there FOREVER waiting for a chance to cross the street and being Southern, I was compelled to make small talk with the person next to me--no matter how ridiculous the costume or the sign. So, we stood there, the pregnant lady earnestly trying to do the Fondren thing and cross a busy street at lunch, while making chitchat with a masked stranger dressed as a genie and waving a sign. The WALK sign never changed, but I did find a group of brave souls to cross the street with and cross it I did, breathing a sigh of relief and glad for the Genie-free oasis shelter that was waiting.

Thirty Eight Weeks

2010-03-14T01:09:00.001-08:00

"Yeah, you're not going to go anytime soon." So said my Ob-Gyn on Thursday. For some reason this was a relief and a an exasperating "throw you hands up in the air" kind of moment. I have lots to do before he-who-is-almost-named arrives and physically feel great. However, at night, I get this kind of excitement and reluctance to go to bed because this could be the night. (!) I was induced with J and A, but with this one I'm not over-eager to induce, at least not early. Give me a week, though, and I may be begging for Pitocin.

J was induced a day after his due date. I wasn't making any progress in labor and had been 3cm for weeks. Since I probably shouldn't write out birth stories in the early hours, I will just say that at 8lb 11 oz, he was ready to arrive. My doctor induced us with A a week or two early because J had been so big and she was worried that A would be, too. A was 8lb 5 oz and arrived like lightning. My body seems to love pitocin and since I never had contractions with either of the first two, I am so, so thankful that option is there and it is a good one for us.

But A's coming quickly and early (even by a week or two), then ending up in the NICU with issues that we never fully figured out except that she "got better", has made me less than eager to induce early. I don't know if the early and quick labor was a factor or not, but I would rather not take the chance. I'm also not worried about having a baby that is "too big" this time around. Sparing the gory details, my nurses told me when A was born that I was "made to birth babies" and when I go into labor and my water breaks with Number 3 to rush to the hospital. Should I have shared that information or kept it to myself? Who knows.

So between those concerns and the personal desire to just "go into labor", I am willing to wait. I've expressed this desire it to my doctor (not very well) and she's been very co-operative about it, but leaving me with the option to schedule an induction after next Friday's appointment.

Now the excitement only grows, because each day is a day closer--two weeks left! Time is flying and we cannot believe it is so soon! Please keep praying for us that we would deliver at the right time and most importantly, have a healthy baby boy in the end. Secondarily, please pray that he comes on his own, but you know, with time to make it to the hospital!

Did ya hear the one about the goat, the wolf and the sack of grain?

2010-03-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

Well, that's kind of what we're dealing with right now--except it involves vehicles and carseats and gas mileage. We've been pondering our vehicle situation for a while and if I've ever wanted to conference call with Dave Ramsey and Klick and Klack, this is the time.

Our station wagon gets great gas mileage (20-30 mpg), runs great, I LOVE to drive it (leg room I usually only dream of) and so on and so forth. We tried putting all three carseats in it last night with very dubious results. They fit, but it sure didn't seem comfortable. So . . . the station wagon may be on the way out. : ( This makes me so sad.

Our Land Cruiser can hold the carseats and then some, but it needs some non-mechanical work, lacks the leg room I desire and has terrible gas mileage (16 mpg, I think). When every drive you take is at least twenty miles round-trip and usually more like forty-fifty, you've got a LOT of gas being burned--and we seem to drive a lot. The plusses are that it has four-wheel drive, can tow, can haul and it's such a cool car.

We are committed to being debt free with an emergency fund, which means driving very used vehicles. This also means that it's a good idea to be a two-car family even though Tuan walks or takes the bike/golf-cart to work. Ideally, we'd have a snappy fuel-efficient model and a family car, but if one car breaks down, we need a three carseat vehicle just in case.

So . . . right now, we're thinking sell the Honda Wagon and get a Honda or Toyota van. Better gas mileage, driveability, multiple car seasts and so on. The sale of the wagon would not cover the cost of a new (to us) van, but we can afford to make up the difference. Keeping the Land Cruiser means we have two family vehicles and Tuan can use it for towing, times when we do need a 4x4 and generally making up for the fact that we'd be owning a van and he sold his jeep so long ago. : ) We'd still have to do the superficial repairs the LC needs.

We actually have a buyer for the Land Cruiser, but there's no point in selling it and keeping the wagon and getting a van. Selling the LC would nearly cover the cost of a van, though we'd end up with one car that wasn't useable for all of us.

Why is this so confusing? Why is this so hard? Why is it also so hard to find the type of van we're looking for that is for sale? It's an issue of cost/safety/financial prudence/vehicular reliability/future repairs and cost of running. Crazy stuff. Any input?

Tuan and I are a bit counter-cultural. We are not afraid of good, used high-mileage vehicles. 150,000 miles is cake. We've also found that the cost of the few repairs we've made to our older cars has never exceeded the amount of cost, depreciation, insurance and tags that newer models would have run us. In fact, we've hardly done any work to our older cars apart from batteries and starters. He's also able to do a lot of minor repairs himself and we've found a great mechanic in Graves and Stoddard (HIGHLY RECOMMEND them).

Humbly awaiting advice, input and leads on vans for sale.

Nesting

2010-03-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

I intended to share my couponing experience, but grabbed the wrong camera! Instead, I'm sharing the boys' room. The kids stayed with my mom and dad last night and today which gave me some time to paint the shelves and get things a bit more organized. Tuan built the shelves and I'm not sold on the color, but can live with it for now. If you click on this link you can view my Facebook album with more photos of the room and happenings in our family.

Interesting Trend

2010-03-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

So, there seems to be this pattern later on in pregnancy where I am hit with insomnia and stay up half the night. I did it with the previous two kids and here I am again. I've had some contractions, some hicks and the coffee after dinner tonight isn't helping. Plus, no. 3 enjoys lodging his foot in my ribs, back and pelvis simultaneously when I lay down.

We are thirty six weeks and five days. As I understand it, we're in the clear for proceeding with labor and anytime is a good time. I have been having contractions with this baby and I never had any with J and A (not the painful kind, at least). They are welcome--funny as that may sound.

At four o'clock in the morning, I could get up and be productive, but that just seems so wrong. I don't like to go downstairs at night anyway and don't have my Kroger receipt upstairs or I could share all the wonderful coupon bargains I got this week.

This pregnancy has been less fatiguing than the others--no choice, really. However, these last two weeks I've been so tired and in need of a nap. I've wanted to nest and madly, madly wanted to deep clean my walls and baseboards and kitchen cabinets. The spirit may have been willing, but the flesh was too weak--until this afternoon. After a post-Bible study nap, something got me going and I cleaned from four thirty until nine-thirty pausing only to eat supper which Tuan kindly cooked lest I have to surrender my magic eraser and vinegar! Okay, there were baths, too. It was so deeply satisfying to make this kind of progress. Is the laundry put away? no. Are my cabinets thoroughly clean? yes. gotta keep my priorities straight, here.

Also, this is so weird, but I have discovered that the Sonic Chicken Club Toaster is the most amazing food ever invented. It is not nourishing, nor is it low-carb or low-fat--wonder why it is so good? There is something phenomenally good about this sandwich: two slices of white bread (gasp! goes Sally Fallon), slathered with mayo (yuck says my non-prego self), and ketchup, cradling a large, fried chicken patty, tomato, bacon, lettuce and plastic cheese (again Sally Fallon gasps). I'm craving it right now as I write. I could eat two at a time, they are so good. I don't think I actually would eat two at a time, but I could if all self-control went out the window. Hmm . . . isn't Sonic open all night?

Far As the Curse is Found

2010-02-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

I don't mean this trivially or flippantly when I say that the curse seems to extend to housekeeping. Sin affects all of life and the Lord's decree to Adam about toil and futility surely must apply to the domestic realm. On the other end, redemption, grace--common and special--have to extend to housekeeping as well (He comes to make his blessings known!). Perhaps I'm wrong, but every aid I have in housekeeping: running water, vinegar, soap, the vacuum(!) I feel must be a grace to us.

Yesterday, however, I felt more of the curse and futility than the blessings of it all. Hormones, sinfulness and weariness were running rampant in my heart and I spent so much of the day overwhelmed by it all: how one job just created another, how while I was accomplishing something in this room, the kids were annihilating another one, that vacuuming the stairs, however necessary, didn't seem to make a bit of difference in the grand scheme of life. And cooking!? I LOVE cooking, but when it makes me distracted and short-tempered with the kids, what kind of a blessing is that to anyone?

In short, I spent a lot of time crying over the laundry and being a grump. I also cried out to God--for help and forgiveness. Is there anything so convicting as hearing your son speaking to your daughter in the exact ugly tone you've been using the whole morning? I'm so thankful that God is gracious. By lunch, balm and grace poured down. A prayer request from a friend put things back in perspective. Tuan came home for lunch (another grown-up!). The house actually showed a bit of progress and I was able to "get away" for a doctor's appointment. A last-minute (and oh, so welcome) overnight guest spurred me on in housework and I had dinner alone with Tuan after the kids went to bed.

Today has been still and quiet. So different from the last! Good times with the kids and a slight reprieve from housework. My in-laws are spending the night and I get some time with other young wives and moms--so excited. What a comfort to know that God's blessings reach and are known far as the curse is found--whether in my heart or home! I'm so thankful for the ultimate blessing of Jesus, that no matter how far I fall or how miserable I feel, there is no sin He did not take and no emotion I have that can change truth.

Slo-Mo-Nesting-With-Toddlers!

2010-02-23T09:50:00.000-08:00

Oh, I am trying to nest. It's kind of a forced thing. I don't think I've got the full fervor yet. There is so much I want to get done before Number 3 comes, along with normal stuff like keeping the house clean! Yet with toddlers and a bit of tiredness and regular housework, I feel like I am swimming in Jello!

I got the boy's room re-arranged today, cleaned and baby stuff put in drawers. I'm going to move (or have Tuan move) the porta-crib up this afternoon. We discovered the delights of a porta-crib when expecting A. It's a crib roughly the size of a pack-in-play, that folds up pretty flat and still looks like a piece of furniture. I ADORE our porta-crib. A slept in hers until she was one and a half. I think she could have gone longer, but J moved to a big-boy bed and my sister had her baby around that time and needed it more than me. It is great for when you have the baby sleeping in your room or when you have children close together and don't really want to have two humongous cribs. When A moves to her big-girl bed in a few months (years?) he can upgrade. It is also giving J more play space in his room.

So with number three I am praying that we go into labor naturally. We had incredible induction experiences with J and A, but I would so much rather it just "happen" this time. Most important, I just want a healthy baby at the end of it all! I think this one is going to be a fighter. He wiggles and squirms and kicks like nobody's business. Sometimes he startles me awake with his ferocity. Maybe we should name him Ursus or something gladiatorial?

A day in the life/Revised Expectations II

2010-02-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

So today I caught up on our trip laundry and nearly had our laundry back on it's "routine." This involved each bedroom having a hamper along with one in the hallway for sheets/towels. I have resolved to only do one hamper at a time to make the sorting and putting away easier and the laundry more manageable. It's working really well and Johnny has learned how to put his clothes away (progress!).

With the trip laundry caught up, I decided it was time to tackle the couch slipcovers. They are off-white cotton duck and had gotten pretty dirty. I hadn't realized it until my mom came over and we were sitting in the living room in broad daylight. "Gross!" I thought, "this cannot continue!" I bought a container of Oxy Clean last night and decided to embark on a long-term soak and wash of the slipcovers. Meaning, soak each batch for at least three hours before washing in hopes of getting our slipcovers back to sparkling.

All was well and I was on the second of what appeared to be three batches of laundry when we heard cries from upstairs. Johnny had crashed in the bed with me this afternoon and had taken a long, long nap. In. Big. Boy. Pants. It was foolish of me and as my readers may have guessed the cries were a result of waking up in a small pond of pee.

Did I mention that we have a featherbed and down comforter on our bed? This has happened before and you can read about it here. But I have a feeling the next 36 hours are going to be a monotony of featherbed drying. At least the "laundry" is caught up!

http://bodene.blogspot.com/2009/06/no-life-without-wife.html

Getting "Crunchy"

2010-02-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

So . . . I've been experimenting. The more I read about natural living and whatnot, the more I think, "that's nice, but I'll never go that far . . . " then I take another step. I'm sure there will come a wall where I can go no further. (Taco Bell, yes, I don't think I'll ever give that up--just being real, here). However, back in the fall I stopped using conditioner.

There's an enormity to that statement.

I LOVE conditioner and have always, always been so picky about it. Pantene, Infusium and Thicker, Fuller Hair were the only conditioners I would use with my hair--I especially LOVE Pantene. However, around the time of my in-laws wedding I started reading about people who are going "no-poo" and washing their hair with baking soda and occasionally rinsing with vinegar. At the same time, we were low on funds and I ran out of conditioner. Since groceries trumped conditioner, I went without and was surprised to discover that after a week or two I could not only live without it, but my hair was doing great! It took on a slightly coarser texture that I love and I only have to wash my hair perhaps twice a week now--it really gets less oily than it did when I was regularly conditioning. I was washing my hair with off-brand Head and Shoulders, but switched to some T-gel we had. It doesn't really foam up, but seems to clean perfectly well. I purchased the cider vinegar and baking soda, but haven't gotten around to dispensing it. When this shampoo runs out, I'm going to take that next step. I'm especially curious about the summer's heat and humidity. It seems that the baking soda rinse may work well for that! Plus, it's such a money saver.

The second experiment has been the Oil Cleansing Method. I read about this on Gracie's Sister's blog (modobject@home) and initially the thought of washing my face with OIL(?!?!) seemed so incredibly counterintuitive and wrong. But isn't it so that many things in life are counterintuitive?

I had flawless skin in high school. I honestly never had and was never sure what a pimple was until I hit late college and marriage. Then, I learned about all of that wonderful, nasty affliction. Until then my pores were tiny, complexion clear and I NEVER washed my face unless I randomly thought about it. Occasionally I would smear vaseline all over it and wipe it off--my grandmother did that. In recent years, though, what with pregnancy, hormones and who knows what else, I have had breakouts and such an annoying time figuring out what to do with my skin. The Clinique bar would work for a while, then stop, then I'd try Cetaphil--because it seemed every one else did and it just seemed so earnest and simple and right. Cetaphil never worked for me, however. And I could/would never moisturize my face because it seemed to make it more oily and dirty feeling.

So, enter the OCM (oil cleansing method). Since the Thanksgiving holidays no soap has touched my face. I started with baby oil (that's what I had and I wasn't patient enough to read up on it) but some point after Christmas, I read some more and began the "proper" regimen.

I've been using approximately 25% Castor Oil and 75% Olive Oil. I keep it in a travel size detergent bottle. You can read more about it here. I may go more 30-70 next time. Anyway, I've been thrilled with the results! It's fun to take the time in the tub or shower to rub the mixture in and steam my skin. I thought my skin would feel oily afterwards, but it's quite the opposite! If anything I've had drier skin than before. That's why I'm going to adjust the ratio a wee bit. I've had only one or two pimples and the rest of my skin has stayed clear! I've started moisturizing a bit more in the morning--I LOVE Burt's-Bees-Can't-Remember-What-It's-Called.

So, I highly recommend it if you've thought about it but haven't taken the plunge. I found Aubrey in the bathroom with my precious bottle today. She had squirted all of the contents into the toilet--grr. I have to say that when I first began, my baths smelled like focaccia bread dipped in olive oil. That was cool with me. And Kroger has Castor Oil if you don't want the awkward ness of asking around for it.

Not my love language . . .

2010-02-05T13:47:00.000-08:00

Touch is not my love language. For sure, from Tuan I enjoy cuddles and kisses, and even from my children--most of the time. But I struggle with too much touch and stimulation and busyness surrounding me. This is not good for a mother of two busy toddlers and another on the way. My little boy has been smack up against me for the last twenty minutes and the constant rubbing and brushing is hard to put up with. I want to use "this is not my love language!" as an excuse, but what I really need is to re-align my own sinfulness and learn to deal with and, yes, appreciate the physical business all around me. Too soon the day will come when my little ones are far away and then all the stillness and space I could ask for will be mine.

And Aubrey Makes Four . . . .

2010-02-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

Oh, I spoke too soon. Just when we'd placed our weary heads on our marvelously soft pillows did Aubrey begin to wail. Poor girl. I would wail too if I woke up in such a mess as she. However, once she realized that a late-night bath (all alone, no less!) was the result of such sickness, our girl promptly began to giggle and grin and splash. A solo bath, full of bubble and full use of the tub toys? A blissful restitution, indeed.

She is an amazing child. When the second round of the bug hit--while in the tub--Aubrey looked at us and said, "what happened to me?" This is a common phrase our children utter--sometimes when they really want to know what has just happened and sometimes they use it as a deterrent. Later, we bundled our shivering girl into our bed (now protected with towels) and turned on Milo and Otis. She just giggled and laughed. It was like, "hey! It's a party with Mom and Dad!" As the night wore on and we went through several rounds of towels, she never complained or fussed--even when she was hurting. I have to say, once more, that she is an amazing child.

So now we've all survived the nasty bug of 2010. I had an OB appointment today and returned home fully motivated. There's nothing like recovery energy combined with nesting. The house is restored to cleanliness, laundry is put away and there is one bathroom left to clean and the upstairs to vacuum. I may not be able to move tomorrow, but it will be with a clear conscience!

Remember the One Where . . .

2010-02-03T20:21:00.001-08:00

All of the Ingalls family got sick? I think it was On The Banks of Plum Creek. I remember Laura crawling out of the bed and filling the dipper and taking it to wet her family's parched lips. If Ma couldn't move, they must have been really sick.

That's pretty much how our family, minus Aubrey, was yesterday. The stomach flu hit us in diverse ways in the wee hours. Aubrey escaped and slept through the worst. When the sun rose, Tuan, Johnny and I were all sprawled on our bedroom floor and didn't stir until after nine. Somehow we never made it back into beds. Mercifully, Aubrey decided to sleep late, too. Every now and then, Johnny would call for me and I felt as helpless as Ma was in that story.

This was the first real sickness we've had where there were no female family members to call on. Every mom and grandmother was either sick or caring for someone else who was sick.

I took it the hardest, and by God's grace, Tuan was somewhat able to function. Johnny improved as the day went on and by the evening he and Aubrey were both fantastic. Poor Aubrey has been on a stomach flu diet with us. But what toddler wouldn't be thrilled at the idea of eating all the saltines she could handle (in Mommy and Daddy's bed, no less) and drinking Pedialyte like there's no tomorrow? Not to mention having nearly free run of the downstairs and constant videos streaming on the computer?

We woke up this morning feeling like new people! Then we got out of the bed and realized we were only partially new people. Still, God has been so good to us. The kids were marvelously chirpy all day, fatigue was the only real lingering symptom and most of the laundry has been tackled. There is still the issue of the demolished kitchen, crumbs all over the floor, and toys everywhere, but that will wait until tomorrow. I'm off to put fresh sheets on our bed and shake all of the cracker crumbs out of the duvet.

I must also say that it was a real moment of providence that we made a late night "fun-run" to Wal-mart Monday evening for a new kid's movie and some saltines. The multi-episode Berenstain Bears has certainly come in handy!

Grocery Confessional

2010-02-01T14:26:00.001-08:00

Gracie has inspired me to share and evaluate my grocery receipts! It makes one so vulnerable, doesn't it? I feel like I spend too much at the grocery, but at the same time, I am really trying to prioritize on better foods, so I guess there's a "tension" as Clint Wilcke used to say!

I've realized, too, that when I do have plenty of things to cook there's less temptation to eat out. Living at camp, the temptation to eat out is huge--it gives you a change of scenery (work and home are one and it's good to get away), a thirty-minute drive into town means that any errands or appointments will probably mean travel during mealtime or arriving home just before naps. For us, there's a value to eating out that transcends the mere value of staying home to eat a sandwich, However, we do need to improve, still.

So, here's last Monday's Grocery expenditures! This should cover two weeks, except for some milk and produce pick-ups.

Bread Outlet
3.00 for two loaves of high-fiber, hfcs free multigrain bread

Sam's
3.12 Corn Tortillas (big bag)
3.98 White Mushrooms
6.98 Due North Nut Clusters
3.88 Five Avocados
12.07 Top Sirloin (4 steaks)

Total: 37.46

Kroger
Pantry/Stock Ups
2.59 Whole Wheat Flour
2.29 White Sugar (for tea--guilty!)
1.16 Large Can Diced Tomatoes
2.50 Two Cans Jumbo Black Olives
.65 French Dressing Mix
1.59 Yellow Mustard
3.45 Semi-Sweet Baking Chocolate
1.75 Rice
2.39 Yeast
3.39 Cocoa
1.25 Black Beans

Dairy
2.00 Two pkg Cream Cheese
14.97 Six Pounds of Cheese (Mozz/Cheddar/Colby Jack
5.58 Organic Milk
2.00 Sour Cream (32 oz)
5.07 Grain Fed Eggs
1.59 Organic Half-n-Half

Frozen Foods
3.19 Frozen Ravioli
1.00 Frozen Snap Peas

Meat
2.99 Italian Sausage
5.90 Bag of Leg Quarters

Produce
1.69 Spinach
1.80 4.5 Pounds Overripe Bananas
2.50 5 Pounds Grapefruit
.34 1 Lime
1.03 Garlic
1.19 Cilantro
1.49 Carrots
.79 Red Onions
1.79 White Onions
1.54 Cabbage
1.00 Cucumbers

Kroger Total 88.87 (14.78 Savings on "Plus Card")

Total on groceries for roughly two weeks: 129.33

I had a menu planned out when I left and ditched it once I started shopping--go figure! Pantry stock ups are a pain because they do add to the bill but are so necessary--and why is yeast so expensive? Anyone know?

Here is what we ate last week:
Monday Night: Bacon, Eggs, Cheese Grits

Tuesday Breakfast: PBJS, my leftovers from Monday lunch

Tuesday Lunch: Soaked Crust Pizza with: Italian Sausage, Mushrooms, Bell Pepper, Onions, Cherry Tomatoes, Olives, and Mozzarella. Grapefruit on the side

Tuesday Supper:Kids ate cereal and Banana bread. Tuan and I had a post-bedtime "date": steak, blue cheese, onion rings and mushrooms cooked in butter. (Butter + Mushrooms = bliss)

Wednesday Breakfast: Banana Bread in the car (on the way to Bible Study)

Wednesday Lunch: We nearly always drive-through somewhere after Bible Study.

Wednesday Night: We went to Sam's to buy a Mattress and had supper with Warner and Becky afterwards

Thursday Breakfast: Banana Bread, scrambled eggs

Thursday Lunch: Soaked Pizza again, with tomato sauce, mushrooms, onions, olives, italian sausage and cheese

Thursday Supper: Chili from the freezer, made into a casserole: Cream cheese, green chiles, chili, cheese and olives. Served with homemade tortilla chips, raw veggies (cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots) and homemade ranch dip.

Friday Breakfast: PBJS, banana, scrambled eggs, toast

Friday Lunch: Leftover Chili casserole

Friday Supper: Camp

Saturday Breakfast: PBJS and bananas

Saturday Lunch: camp

Saturday Supper: company! We did a Tex-Mex-make-your-own buffet type thing: Cilantro Lime Rice, Stewed Black Beans, Marinated Steak, homemade Pico De Gallo, guacamole, cheese, lettuce, chips, sour cream, lettuce, salsa, tortillas and a "Rust Chocolate Tart" for dessert.

Sunday Lunch: Leftover Mexican

Sunday Supper: This was Aubrey's Birthday party and we had Soaked Crust Pepperoni and Cheese Pizzas

Monday Breakfast: Leftover Pizza (we all slept in, so it was second breakfast)

Monday Lunch: Taco salad (used up the leftovers, plus some ground beef in the freezer)

And the rest of the story? I need to figure out supper right now! Hopefully Tuan will go for a breakfast supper tonight.
For the rest of the week, I am planning to make a chicken/sausage tomato soup with ravioli and spinach. I have no recipe, so we'll see how it goes! I think some egg salad, more banana bread and Salmon with coleslaw and hushpuppies may be in the works.

That's my grocery bill!
129.33

Fantastic January

2010-01-30T09:26:00.000-08:00

My heart is glad and full. This January has been fantastic. I feel like we've just coasted through some glorious days and I am so thankful.

The baby is doing well and kicking and rumbling. We'll be thirty three weeks, tomorrow!

J is growing leaps and bounds in his ability to help (he knows how to put his clothes away!), dress himself, keep dry pants and his coloring skills have jumped through the roof! We've also transitioned from "nap time" in the afternoon to "room time." This means he conks out at bed time and we're no longer fighting the "stay in your room"/"stay in your bed" battle.

A is in her own room for the first time! Since she still takes a nap, she stays "up" in her bed for a while after bedtime. Her bed is full of amusements and she feeds her babies, cooks, reads, and sings songs until she goes to sleep. Her two favorite songs right now are "Jingle Bells" and "Life is a Highway." A's voice is a bit hoarse and hearing her sing cracks us up. Only a video or in-person performance would do it justice. Her verbal skills are constantly improving and she passed that portion of her two-year old check up swimmingly.

Some time in the fall, we finally figured out the best time to do devotions with the kids. After pajamas and tooth brushing, they pile on the bed for Bible studies. Tuan is doing such a good job with this and the kids love their Bible stories. We are using The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes. This was mine as a child and it is illustrated very differently from the current edition. All the stories are accompanied by a very realistic painting. I really like it better than the new one. Anyway, the kids were on a David and Goliath kick for a while and J knew the words so well he'd say the story along with Tuan. When they got to the part where it says, "David threw a stone at the giant. It hit him on the head and the great Goliath fell over dead . . . " A would begin hitting herself on the head and promptly fall over.

We've since adopted other favorites. A's is the "Sheep Drop." This is the story of the man who had a hundred sheep and one wandered away and fell down the cliff. He left the ninety nine and went to retrieve the lost sheep. J's favorite is the "Snakes are Biting the People." This is the one where God sends the snakes to bit the people because they have been rebellious and when they repent Moses puts a brass snake on the pole and if they look at the snake, they are healed. Eclectic choices, no? Fortunately, Tuan also picks a story which is keeping us from only learning part of the Bible!

Tuan is now recovered from Peru and working feverishly to get the summer camp website up and running so he can work feverishly on camp! Our life has no normal and is rarely slow and we love it! The summer's theme is Daniel--I am really looking forward to seeing how they pull of the Fiery Furnace and Lion's Den!

I am nesting a bit--okay, a lot! I'm getting plenty of rest and have been indulging in a new obsession--video games. Tuan got me hooked on The Legend of Zelda and although I always vowed I'd have nothing to do with such foolishness, I confess I've nearly beaten the game and am so sad it's over! I've also been cooking and taking more "nourishing steps." We made soaked pizza dough this week and I'm so excited to have breached this intimidating wall!

This is an abrupt way to end a post, but my children have abruptly informed me of their need for intervention. Buenos Dias!